Hell's Kitchen quotes

[about Chef Ramsay] He's like the Simon Cowell of the kitchen.

He's worse than Simon Cowell.

The time has come for the competitors' first encounter with Chef Ramsay and his legendary high standards. They have no idea what they're in for.

I'm Gordon Ramsay. Welcome to Hell's Kitchen. [on Andrew's dish] Whose is this?

Andrew, Chef Ramsay.

Andrew, step forward. And what is it?

It's called Andrew's Absolute Penne.

Andrew's Absolute Penne.

Correct.

[takes a taste of the dish and spits it out] That... is absolute dog shit. Have a little taste.

[tastes the dish] Could use some salt.

You think you're smart, yeah?

I have my moments.

And how long have you been cooking?

About ten years.

What a waste of ten years. Get back in fucking line.

First name?

Dewberry.

Blueberry?

Dewberry.

Oh, Dewberry. Bloody hell, I'm not sure which is worse.

Now the red kitchen's first entrées are about to go out. All that's left is a piece of salmon from the most experienced chef on the red team.

Chris.

Yes, chef?

Come here. You're an executive chef right?

Yes, chef.

What do you think of that?

It's a little fucked up, chef.

[pushing the fish into Chris' chest] There you go. Sorry. I told you fucking earlier, hello? And you knew it's fucked up.

You're right chef.

Yeah, and an executive chef doesn't serve shit like that, do they?

I apologize, chef.

No, no, you apologise. Don't you do it again! Okay?

I'll start it again chef. [interview] I haven't gotten where I am today without having skills. I think Gordon recognizing talent is going to come with time.

Send the whole fucking table back. The executive chef has just sent me an overcooked piece of shit. (interview) Chris has a huge chip on his shoulder. He's an executive chef which basically means you sit on your arse all day long. And clearly he's been doing that for the last ten years.

How does this look, Chef Ramsay?

What do you mean, "How does this look?" Hey, Andrew, get out the habit. Come here, you. I'm not going to run to you, I'm trying to run the hotplate here so would you be so kind to come and talk to me. Is that clear?

[interview] I firmly believe that Chef Ramsay just doesn't like me.

Is this acceptable chef?

Yeah, listen to me - did you hear my fucking question?!

Yes.

Answer it! Okay?

Yes.

Good! Now what are you saying?

I'm asking you if this looks acceptable.

Right, get on the hotplate.

[interview] You - you want to pick on me? Pick on me! I don't give a shit.

And you think every time you want to ask me a question, fat fuck, that I'm going to go down there and run to you while I'm trying to run a kitchen. You fucking come to me. Is that clear?

Yes, chef.

Good! Now what was the question?

Is this acceptable to you?

I'll let you know. Now fuck off. [interview] Andrew, he likes to learn the hard way. Kitchens are run on emotions. I may get upset, but the most important thing is, it's not personal.

Chef? Mr. Chef?

Yes, ladies?

You hurt my friend's feelings.

I hurt your friend's feelings?

Yes, she's very upset.

Why?

Because you told her to fuck off.

Oh, really? Did I?

Yeah you did.

Could you tell her that I meant it?

Yeah, I'll tell her.

Jean-Philippe, s'il vous plaît? Can you please escort these bimbos back to plastic surgery?

Blue team, stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing. Forget it. [crosses over to the red kitchen] Red team?

Yes, chef?

Switch it off. I'm shutting down the kitchen. I'm so pissed off, I'm not prepared to see any more shit food coming out. Shut it down.

[interview] You can't have the meat standing there, or the fish sat there, waiting for the vegetables. Why should everything else suffer?

You're waiting on a wellington and one bass yes? Well I'm deeply, deeply, deeply sorry but right now we're about seven tables behind.

That doesn't do much for me.

Yeah, right, can I just say, you do fuck all for me either.

Sorry?

You do nothing for me either.

I just don't understand why it's so difficult to serve some people their food.

Are you that arrogant, you haven't got a clue of what's going on behind me?

It seems like you have a lot of amateur sous-chefs.

Right. Finally your head's coming outside your arsehole. Now sit down, you fucking dick. What an arsehole.

Nothing upsets Chef Ramsay more than when customers come to the kitchen.

Away now, two cod, two wellington. [gets no response from Dewberry] Away now, two cod, two wellington.

Yes, chef.

How long?

12 minutes.

12 minutes? Show me your wellington's rested.

I have no idea.

What?!

I have no idea, I am so confused.

Oh my God. You don't care anymore do you?

At this point, no I don't.

You're not interested anymore?

No.

No, you can't cut it?

No I can't.

You're useless, you know that?

I am. Goodbye! [starts to leave]

Goodbye. That's it? [The red team calls for Dewberry to come back]

[interview] When I got ready to leave and I saw the look on Elsie's face, I knew I couldn't walk out.

[coming back] Sorry chef. I'm confused. I don't know what I'm doing.

Thank you for coming back. You never - hello? - desert your section again! You understand?

Yes, chef.

You stand there like a man and you face it!

Yes, chef.

Because I'm standing in front of customers taking shit because of you!

Yes, chef.

Get on your section and get those wellingtons out.

Yes, chef.

[interview] He was trying to get me to understand what the shortcomings were, and about staying with the team, and he was trying to get me to be - I guess - better than I am evidently. [sheds a tear]

He hasn't cooked anything because he's standing there. Now he wants to run back to his mummy.

After pizza was delivered and his maître d' was assaulted, Chef Ramsay has seen enough.

Red team, shut the place down and clean down, yeah?

Yes, chef.

[crosses over to the blue kitchen] Last table, shut it down. Everything off, yes? Stoves off, turn it off.

Red team, three quarters of your diners really enjoyed the appetizers but nearly half your diners didn't receive their main course. In fact - and this is a real first for me - one of your tables was so frustrated, they phoned for a fucking pizza. And guess what? They ate it - and the main course still hadn't come out! That is one not to forget.

Dewberry, you're going tonight for one very simple reason: you're a coward. And you turned your back on your team after you screwed them.

Why's the spaghetti not in there yet?

The water's not at a rolling boil.

Not boiling? Did you top it up with cold water?

Yes, chef.

Why did you put cold water in there?

I thought that cold water was supposed to boil faster than hot water.

What?!