Amanda Davenport quotes from Hell's Kitchen

(to Tony and Amanda) Let's go.

Two seconds chef. I need to grab one thing.

What's that?

Tequila.

Tequila.

(interview) I'm definitely asking Chef Ramsay to do a shot of tequila with me. It goes with the dish.

And what's your dish?

Margarita French toast with tequila lime butter.

Show me? [looking at Amanda's dish] I thought you were joking. You're cooking a slice of fucking toast dipped in egg with...

Tequila.

...to get me drunk.

(interview) One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four... (cuts to Amanda took a shot of tequila) Give me a lot more! Keep on going!

(interview) Are you kidding me? (laughs) Why would you do that?

[raises a piece of toast with a knife] That's it? (brief pause) What the fuck were you doing for 42 minutes? Because that takes literally 3 minutes. SHOCKING!

Salmon, lamb please, how long?

Seven minutes, chef.

Hey, what's that piece of shit there?

It's supposed to be the salmon.

Holy fuck, look at that. It's like a... bison's penis - what is that shit? [opens up the salmon wrap, revealing the interior to be totally frozen] Look at that! Stone-cold, frozen salmon. Who put the salmon in the freezer?

Me. I fucked it up. (interview) The salmon was my fault because I stuck it in the freezer instead of the fridge, and it was frozen.

Yeah, you fucked up, big time!

All the salmon's the same, I think we're gonna have to eighty-six it.

Yeah, 'cos she's wrapped it frozen.

Heather

And we have five on order.

We've got five on order?

Heather

Five on order.

(to Amanda) Hey, ditzy! Great job!

Yes, chef.

Oh, fuck off.

Amanda!

Yes, Chef!

Twelve threes?

Nine! (that was the correct answer when she incorrectly made eight lamb chops [three portions of three, but she incorrectly said the answer to that question four times])

Oh, my God.

Thirty-six chef. Thirty-six, I'm sorry, Chef.

Oh, come on. This is not possible! (returns to the workstation) Come here! All of you, come here!

(interview) Whatever it is, it's not my fault.

This is not fucking possible! This cannot be true! [gets a piece of lobster] What is that there? What is that there?! WHAT IS THAT?!

This is---.

Yeah, its fucking raw! RAW!! [kicks the bins]

(interview) Come on, Amanda! All you have to do is put the lobster on the grill, make sure it didn't char, baste it and send it up. That's all you had to do!

It's a fucking restaurant, not a sushi bar! How can you get confused on a raw fucking grilled lobster?! I don't know where to go! I can't even turn and look at the dining room, I'm so fucking embarrassed! This is still your first table... (points to the Blue kitchen) that's their last! FUCK OFF!! WE HAVEN'T SENT AN ENTRÉE OUT!! STUPID COWS!!! [crosses over to the Blue kitchen, where the men are starting to clear down] Oh, fucking hell... Hey, have you all finished?

Desserts chef.

Desserts? Kevin, stay on desserts. All of you, come in here! Hey guys, get on a section will you, please, yes?

(interview) AWWW! Add insult to injury, rub salt in the wound, what... just... happened?

Away now: Two penne, three New York Strip, two chicken, one catfish!

Yes, chef!

(interview) AAAAAAAAGH! YEEAAAAH BOOOOOYS! (cups his ear) That's right. I can hear it. It's them bitches crying!

Do you need anything?

No, I'm cool. (interview) It was just scraps of meat, everywhere. It was a kitchen-pocalypse. Like a hand grenade went off in a cow's ass.

Gentlemen, I can't wait for a fantastic dessert. I hope it's substantial. You've probably saved the best until last.

(interview) Man, that had better be a giant piece of chocolate something, to beat us!

(interview) I was worried, the girls had some really nice stuff. This has got to kick some ass.

(interview) I make an apple fruit compote every day of my life. No problem.

Oh, come on. What is that?

(interview) When Chef Ramsay laughed, it definitely like, stung. I felt like a loser. (Ramsay samples the dessert) Chef, we have an egg white crepe filled with a fruit compote, and we have a blackberry and vanilla yoghurt cream.

It tastes... foul. That's the kind of crap they serve when you have a heart bypass or an ulcer operation, that is a joke. Back in line, Dave.

Two sea bass, halibut, lamb, yes?

Yes, Chef!

How long?

One minute, Chef!

One minute, let's go!

(to Suzanne) I can go with that lamb, are you ready?

Sounds good; I'm ready.

I got the garnish!

You got that?

(bringing the lamb up) One lamb, medium, coming to the pass! (to Tennille) S'cuse me, behind you...

Sea bass, Suzanne!

I need another minute, sorry.

(to the server) Stop.

Fuck! If they would just-! (interview) Oh, not again!

Come on, fucking hell, come on...

Sorry, Chef. I thought I could do it, but...

Well, I'm fucking out to dry now, aren't I? I'm standing here with my fucking pants down again.

Just one minute, Chef! One minute!

Still one minute?

(to the Red Team) Everybody buckle down and let's go! We can do this!

Tennille! And you wonder why I go fucking apeshit? Stand here for five minutes and see how PAINFUL it is!

Understood, Chef. (interview) Everybody's got their stuff up! We don't wanna hold up the whole thing and let it get cold!

(to Suzanne) I'm not gonna- it's not gonna die here!

No, Chef!

Thirty seconds sea bass, yes?

Yes, Chef! (checks her sea bass, and it breaks) Shit! Fuck me!

Come ON!

Sorry, guys. (to Gordon) Chef, I killed the table.

TAKE THE FUCKING TRAY BACK!! Fuck off with you, yeah?! Fuck- fuck right off, yeah?! (takes the tray containing the rest of the order) There you go! (hands the tray to Suzanne) Yeah, that's you! Take it back!

(interview) NOW WE GOTTA DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN?! THANKS A LOT, SUZANNE!

You fucking shitting me?! UGH!!

RIGHT NOW, I AM NOT GONNA START SERVING HALF A FUCKING TABLE! NO CHANCE!

No, Chef!

AND NOW YOU'RE DRAGGING THE FUCKING KITCHEN!

(to Suzanne) We're behind. We gotta pick it up, okay?

I'm trying to go as fast as I can!

(interview) SUZANNE! SUNK! THE! SHIP! She sunk us! Left us on the curb!

(to Suzanne) DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

Guys, I can't have my station be a fucking dump pit!