Jon quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Taste that. How hot is that?

Spicy, spicy.

(returns to the workstation and spits pasta out) All of you, taste that! It's too spicy, and it's disgusting! [throws his spoon away on the workstation]

(takes capellini away) Trash.

And again, scallops cooked beautifully.

(interview) What the fuck is going on? It's like déjà vu in this motherfucker.

(to Zach) How many times have you cooked scallops tonight and not served them?

Twice, chef.

Sorry, bro.

Sebastian, get it together!

Yes, chef!

Come on guys, let's go.

Okay, Mikey-Wikey. (interview) I messed up a few times, but I'm getting in with the groove, I'm playing around, trying to make the environment a little bit looser.

Zacky, talk to me.

(to Michael) We've got three halibut, one branzino.

Zacky-Wacky! [Gordon hears this]

(to Sebastian) Hey, you! Hey, come here, you. “Zacky-Wacky?”

(trying to correct himself) Chef Zach!

Hey, look at me. Hey, look. Is this a fucking joke?

No, chef.

“Zacky-Wacky?!”

Sorry, I apologize about that, chef.

Yeah, do me a favor. GET OUT!

Yes, chef.

Fuck off, will you? Get out!

Yes, chef.

Upstairs, GET OUT!

(interview) So Sebastian gets kicked out. Who didn’t see that coming?

(still thinking about it) “Zacky-Wacky?”

What are you doing? [Sebastian shushes him]

(interview) Where the hell are you going, Sebastian? Okay, yeah, you can come back.

Second time! GET OUT!

(interview) God, are you kidding me?

Fuck off! Wacky!

The blue team is now down a chef - and it's up to Jon to handle the appetizer station solo.

I need two minutes, please.

Lamb! Come on, Michael! Bit of energy!

[brings his lamb to the pass] Yes, chef.

[checks the lamb; returns to the workstation] Terrible. And embarrassing.

Oh, God. (interview) Fuck, it's coming back.

Timeout! Stop!

Fuck!

The bone, thicker than the fucking meat.

(interview) There needs to be meat on there! This is not a fucking dog's chew toy! This is lamb!

And if that's not bad enough... [Shows the wellington, which is cremated]

Fuck!

...they're way overcooked!

Horrible. Fuck!

(interview) Michael and Barret, dumb and dumber!

You don't slice the wellington until the lamb's ready.

Yes, chef.

And when it's together like-- (sees Sebastian) Oh, you!

Chef, can I please come back, chef?

(interview) Dude, really? What are you doing? Perfect fucking timing!

You, you come here, you. You're making me look stupid.

No, chef.

The blue team, one hour into service and not one entrée out. You (Sebastian), for the last time, take him (Barret) and him (Michael)...and get out! And let me tell you something, you come back downstairs again, you'll be leaving through the front door. Now GET OUT! Three of you! You (Ray), on meat.

Yes, chef.

You (Anthony), on meat.

Yes, chef.

Oi! GET OUT!

(interview) Now I'm pissed off. I didn't do anything to get kicked out of this dinner service. (angrily throws his apron)

Oh, man! [returns the risotto to the work station] [to Jon] Look at that there, stuck to the bottom of the pan.

Fuck, man!

[to Jon] Jon, take Dan and yourself, and get the fuck out of here! [Jon and Dan leave the kitchen]

(interview) When somebody gets kicked out the kitchen, they put more pressure on the next man. (in the kitchen) Whoo!

[to Ray] Raymond, taste that! [Ray tastes the risotto with his bare fingers] Fingers, spoons are everywhere.

Bland, chef.

(interview) Ray, you just stick your finger into a risotto in front of Chef Ramsay in Hell's Kitchen. That's just stupid!

[to Ray] You may be the oldest, but out of respect, FUCK OFF!

Yes, chef.

You got to be shitting me. (interview) Blue Kitchen tonight is like being in the middle of a natural disaster. [to Anthony] My fucking heart is beating. (interview) I'm not feeling good right now. It's getting hot. I start feeling pressure.

[to Zach] You good?

I gottta just - I gotta just breathe, homes.

Risotto?

[brings up the risotto] Risotto, chef.

(to Anthony) Just taste that.

Fuck!

Yeah, fuck.

(interview) Fuck!

Get out! Get out!

Christian!

Yes, chef?

He brings up scallops, fucking rubber! (knocks his hand on the workstation) I mean, seriously?

(interview) What the hell are you doing? Come on! Pick it up, please!

Hey, you! Come here, you.

Ugh.

Touch them. (calls out Jeremy) Hey, you, big boy. Come here, you.

Yes, chef?

You're the one that's supposed to be supporting them.

Yes, chef.

How about supporting your fucking gut? (leads Christian and Jeremy to the Chef's Table) Both of you, sit down! Hey, enjoy your shit!

(interview) I don't know how I'm in this situation right now.

(to a server) A glass of wine, please. For the two chefs.

(interview) It was his scallops. I had nothing to do with it.

(to Christian and Jeremy) Enjoy! Fuck you! [returns to the workstation; to the Blue team] Hey, get a grip! (knocks his hand on the workstation) Scallops, urgently!

Heard!

This is a joke. Dry as fuck.

It's awful.

(returns to the workstation) STOP!

What?

All of you! (raises one lamb) Who cooked that?

Fuck!

Come here you! All of you, come here! How much more shit does one need to take?! The dining room full of guests waiting for that.

(interview) I'm so pissed at myself right now. I just want to punch myself in the dick.

You're making me look like a fucking idiot. (throws his spoon away) GET OUT! Leave me alone! Leave, get out, get out, get out. (gives the lamb to Christian) There you go. There's your second course. Fuck off! GET OUT!

(overhears Gordon) Wow.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Lamb?

(slices his lamb; finds that it's rare) Dude, this is under. I can't send this.

Lamb?

Walk with the lamb, please.

Lamb is not done yet chef.

Oh, fuck off! Christ almighty!

It's still rare in the middle. The middle is rare, the outside are good.

Oh, fuck me.

We have to fire an all new garnish.

(interview, mocking Michael) Waaaaah! The lamb's not cooked! Waaaaah!

Brand new garnish.

(interview) Michael, just sit there and wait! I got it!

Where is this fucking lamb?

Right here chef.

There's the fucking plates! Two minutes been sat there dressed!

Lamb is being cut. It's on its way.

Walking lamb. Behind. (brings his lamb to the pass)

It's there! Hey Bozo That's how open the fucking gap for you!

Yes, chef. Two lamb chef.

(interview) Yelling over, problem solved. Right?

[points to Dan] YOU! HEY, STRING-BEAN! COME HERE!

Yes, chef!

(interview) Wrong.

(raises a chewed up piece of lamb) What the fuck is that?!

Get lamb going now.

What is that? [Dan doesn't answer] Wha... WHAT IS THAT?

Shit, chef.

This needs one more minute in the oven, and that bit there should be a fucking dog's chew!

Yes, chef.

Hey, all of you, come here! ALL OF YOU!

Yes, chef?

Some disgusting pig brought me the sample scrambled eggs. The sample scrambled eggs that I cooked an hour ago. [flashback to where Sous-chef Andi telling both teams to study the sample plates] These guests, they save lives on a daily basis and you want to serve that? JEREMY, DAN! YOU'LL FUCKING KILL SOMEONE WITH THAT!! (tosses the plate on the workstation)

It's early morning and Hell's Kitchen has opened its doors to serve breakfast to a group of much-deserving doctors, nurses and ENTs.

(to Jeremy) You pick that motherfucker up.

Take that garnish back.

Work it again! Let's go!

Fuck off, guys.

While Nedra begs forgiveness in the dining room, back in the Blue kitchen,

Where is the fucking halibut?!

Coming up chef.

Come on, guys! Push it!

(to Ray) Let's go, come on. Get those up.

Ray hurries to deliver his third attempt at the same order of fish.

WHERE IS IT?

(to Dan) Bring that up.

Got it right here, chef. [brings Ray's halibut to the pass]

Come on, come on. Go with that, good job.

Please be cooked. For the love of God, be cooked.

[checks Ray's halibut] Wellington's beautifully cooked, pork's beautifully cooked.

Thank you, chef.

But I have a problem. [returns to the workstation] I have a big fucking problem—YES, I DO!! [angrily knocks his hand on the workstation] MERDE!

Fuck me!

THIS IS RAW!

Oh, my God!

Oh, fuck me!

THIS IS RAW!

(interview) Not again! Dammit, this can't be happening! (to Ray) Come on, Ray!

IT'S JUST RAW! [angrily knocks his hand on the workstation]

(to Ray) Get three more going. Get three more going. Put them in the oven.

IT'S FUCKED!

(interview) We're going down in flames! Titanic ain't got SHIT on us!

I'M DONE! (points to every member of the Blue team) You, you, you, you, you, you, GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

(interview) I was doing good, dammit.

Did I not say that we're done? I will let you fucking know when you fucking keep leaving in it. (interview) Dan, just leave it alone. I had it fucking perfect.

(Storms into the blue team's dorm with raw halibut) Hey, where are you guys?

Right here, Chef.

I spent 18 hours with you guys today, I give you everything I got, and that's the bullshit you're going to give me in front of Chef Ramsay? Make me look like a dickhead in front of a dining room full of people! I'm beside myself right now with that! I can't look at you guys anymore.

All of you, come here.

(interview) Fuck!

(points to a table of senior women) See those six glamourous ladies, slightly older? Yeah. And look.

Oh.

Oh, my God!

(gets a parchment paper from a halibut) The paper.

(to Barret) You left the parchment on there, man?

(interview) What, you trying to kill people? By the time you swallow it, it's too late. You're on the floor with Jean-Philippe doing CPR on you. [scoffs] Who the fuck want that?

(quietly to Barret) Hey, come here you. It's not a fucking joke. You should be ashamed.

I am. I am ashamed. (interview) Tonight of all nights, I'm just praying that we didn't lose the dinner service.

Paper to a senior! [crosses to the Red kitchen out of disgust]

That's burned. (returns to the workstation) Fuck you all! [knocks the workstation] Damn! Come here, all of you! Come on! Hey look, there's no garnish around there and that's the biggest bit. Look at that there.

Fuck me!

(raises the pizza and drops it) For kids, and kids, fucking kids!

(interview) Dan is like a monkey wrench in a machine. You're killing me, man!

Start again and get it together!

Yes, chef!

Stone-cold. Hey, all of you. (points to Ray) You first, fuck-wit! Come here!

Oh, fuck! (interview) No, this can't be happening.

Just touch that. Just touch the burger.

Oh, it's fucked, chef.

[angrily throws the burger on the workstation] Whose table is that?

(interview) A cold cheeseburger. How the hell does something like that happen?!

That's my family.

(interview) He just brought a perfect storm our way. Thanks, dude.

At this stage of the game, I don't expect the "I'm sorry!" IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! [knocks his hand on the workstation] IT'S FUCKED!!

I have another one chef.

(interview) Get it together, man. A cold burger?

(to Ray) Hey, you have the audacity to send that to my son! I wouldn't do that to your family!

Totally my fault, chef.

I've got raw chicken here.

And it's for my wife.

[returns the chicken to the workstation] HEY! For Chef James's wife, pink chicken.

(interview) Raw fish, people can survive it. Under-cooked meat, cook it more it's like not going to kill you, but fucking raw chicken will fucking kill you.

Chef James's wife is pregnant.

Oh, my gosh.

(interview) I can't even look at Chef James in the eyes. He's like a freaking triple black belt in Taekwondo. This dude will probably fuck me up right now.

My family and James's family. Red Team, take over! Let's go! Move!

Yes, chef!

They're fucking raw. Fuck off. (to the Blue team) Hey, raw New York!

Oh, fuck me. (interview) Oh, my God. He just can't catch a break.

(to Ray) Come here, you. Just fucking come here! Who cooked it?

I---.

ANSWER!!!

I did, chef. I cooked it. I'll take it. I did, chef.

This is where it goes so fucking badly! It's not even red in there!

I understand, chef.

Two of you on the section! [knocks his hand on the workstation] Do you have any fight left?!

Michael, make another one!

I'm going to cook. I'm going to cook.

(interview) Ray, Michael. Pull your heads out of your asses and cook the fucking meat!

Here, I got the fucking New York strip, okay?

I got it on.

Don't rush the steaks.

(interview) Ray, please stop talking. Let me fucking cook the meat. I got it.

How long for that New York strip?

Three and a half, chef.

Oh, fuck! Take the table back. Oh, fuck me. (gives the tray of entrées to Ray) Ray, hey. Fuck off. Take that. Take it. A fucking joke!

This is a joke. They're not seared! (returns to the workstation) All of you, come here! Quick!

Are you serious?

Like mush. Mush, mush, MUSH! (knocks his hand on the workstation) It's just a fucking joke!

Fuck! (interview) God, are you kidding me? We can't even get past hot apps this late of the competition? God, it's humiliating!

Yet again, we're fucking struggling! I'm putting the gas, I'm turning the engine, I'm driving every fucking table! I'M DONE!

(interview) Please, don't let this be happening again.

(points to every member of the Blue team) Listen, listen, listen, listen! Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off! GET OUT! GET OUT! Idiots!

Here we go. Two covers, Table 21: two mussels, entrée: one halibut, one New York Strip.

Yes, chef!

Two minutes on this order: one halibut, one New York!

Three minutes, heard.

Who called? What's she yelling about? Susan called out halibut, New York steak and we haven't sent out the appetisers. What's going, Susan?

Right now, we have one halibut, and one New York!

Hey, all of you, come here! Stop what you're doing, all of you. She's firing entrées, one halibut, one New York strip. FYI, dumbo, we haven't even sent the appetisers!

(interview) What is Susan thinking right now? Like, what are you thinking Susan?

Is the ticket crossed out?

No, chef.

What are you doing to them?

We fired that ticket, chef.

Who's "we"?! I didn't!

She's screwed.

All of a sudden, you're the chef, right?

No, chef! No!

Step up. Here you go. (takes off his apron and gives it to Susan) Here you go. You fucking run it then. Here you go. Andi, leave her alone.

(interview) Susan can't even give correct times on her own station. She's running the kitchen? (sighs) We're fucked.

Sorry.

You run it! Fuck it, there you go, run it! (tosses his tongs on the hotplate) Fucking good luck. Off you go. This is a fucking joke. Andi, fuck them! Leave them! (Gordon and Andi walk out of the kitchen) Pathetic!