Dana quotes from Hell's Kitchen

My team is like a freaking anchor on a ship, and we are just going… down!

Ladies, we got this! We got this, for real!

Oh, my God. I mean, seriously? [returns to the workstation] What in the fuck is that?

I guess not.

Who cooked that? Come here. The dough is still raw. Are you fucking for real? Do you want me to serve that out there?!

Christina Wilson

No, chef.

It's just a joke!

(interview) Damn it! We've got to push out the entrées! Christina's killing us right now.

Have you got another wellington?

Christina Wilson

Yes. (interview) That's the thing with baking wellingtons. You don't know until the end and there's nothing you can do. So I'm praying like, "Oh, one of these beef, they have to be okay."

[slices the pastry of a wellington] Look, that's raw. It's fucking raw.

With Guy and Clemenza coming to the rescue, salads are finally leaving the blue kitchen. Meanwhile, in the red kitchen, the women are ready to send out their first table of entrées. All they need is...

Pizza!

Barbie, pizzas need dressing. Oh, my fucking GOD! You're killing me! (interview) Barbie, you're a stupid bitch! Get the fuck off my station, I don't need your help. It's just garnishing the fucking pizza. [to Barbie] Barbie! Barbie, I need–Bro what are you doing?!

JUST STAND YOUR STATION!

Okay, got it.

(interview) She's moving around like a jumping jack and she's cooking pizzas when she's not supposed to.

LADIES! Where is the fucking pizza?

Pizza's here, chef!

[checks pizza with Sous Chef Andi] That looks like shit! [returns to workstation] Hey, all of you, come here! WELCOME TO AMERICA. Look at that. [to Barbie] You eat that bit now. [to Briana] Hey, come here. You eat that as well. That's what you're serving them. Burnt, shitty, black pizza. [throws pizza in the trash bin] I'd rather flee the fucking country!

[to Robyn] I'm so sick of this bitch (Barbie).

(interview) With Barbie the way that she is, I can't tell if she's sabotaging or if she's actually trying to help.

Get off the pizzas!

Yes, chef.

(interview) It's getting old! Seriously, Barbie sucks. She pisses everybody off, she needs to go home!

Put it down! [checks her spaghetti; finds that it has too much sauce] Fuck, it's like soup. Dana? [returns to the workstation] All of you, come here. It's like canned soup! How much sauce you in there, Dana?

Too much, chef.

[pours the spaghetti on a plate and drops the pan on the plate] Just fuck off will you? I mean, it's just like piss!

I have another one coming right now chef.

Hey, come here all of you. [throws his spoon away; splits a dumpling in half] Here's the big insult. Just touch them. Stone-cold. Pass it on, touch it. They're cold. Stone-cold.

(interview) Touch these. TOUCH THESE! Oh, Roshni! Dumplings? Come on, that's the easiest part of the dish!

(to Roshni) You can't even poach a dumpling!

I'm sorry, chef.

Brutal!

Are you putting these all in one thing?

Yeah. [puts her meat into Dana's tray of fish; Dana brings them to the pass]

Look, hey look. Fish and meat on the same tray. Meat dripping into the fish, fish dripping into the meat.

(interview) I said to her, "where do you want me to put these. To all in this one tray?" She's like, "yeah, sure. Put it on that tray."

Who put that on there? That's disgusting. Who done that?

(interview) I'm waiting on Dana to say she did it because that bitch did it!

How can you put that onto one fucking tray? [throws his spoon away]

(interview) I think Kimmie need to grow some balls. It's your station, man up!

Who put that on there? Was it a ghost? Somebody tell me what is happening! Fucking idiots!

I did, chef!

Fucking tray! [throws his spoon away]

(interview) Dana fucking put that shit on there. I said, "I did it," to Chef Ramsay because it was my station, but it was her fault.

Christina

[to Kimmie] Go ahead.

Move! [shoves Christina Wilson away]

Christina Wilson

O–Okay!

I got it! Move! Get off my station!

Now we're dragging the New York strip.

(interview) I was fucking pissed that I'm getting in trouble for something somebody else did. [to Robyn about the tray mishap] You know I didn't put that shit on there, right? [Robyn nods] Alright, just checking.

Dana, did you put that on there?

Nope. I asked her specifically, did you want–

No, you put it on there, alright!

Christina Wilson

STOP!

Who the fuck cares?! Just finish the fucking food and shut the fuck up! I don't WANNA hear it!

Christina Wilson

Stop!

[to Dana] Just stay over there and off my shit. Fucking nasty bitch, dude.

(interview) Kimmie, like, for a big girl is a big baby. That's what she is. You know, I don't need to deal with that shit. If I'm trying to help you, that's bullshit!

And in the Red Kitchen...

Where's the pork?

Right here!

Danielle is looking to redeem herself with her second attempt at the pork.

I think it's good. If it's not, I'm going to freak out.

Oh shit! Danielle, he's cutting it. So just get another one going...

He's coming back!

Christina Wilson

Dani, get the pan hot. Right now!

He's coming back! It's raw!

Christina Wilson

Dani, get another pork working right now. Now!

Hey! Just STOP! Raw pork again. Pink and bloody in the middle. I give up. (to Danielle) And one more thing. GET OUT!

The total number of chefs in the dorms is now up to five and in the red kitchen, Barbie is taking special precautions to make sure she isn't joining them.

Hey you, come here you. Give me that. The day we need, look at me, a thermometer. The day we need that to cook a breast of chicken! You, GET OUT!

(interview) I don't know why she can't cook chicken, I really don't. Cooking a breast of chicken is about as easy as taking a shit. Anybody can do that. Are you that dumb?

Tiffany, put that down.

Yes, Chef.

Look at me. Seriously, I've had enough. [slams the pan on the workstation] Shit burned mash. Get out. Get out! I swear to God, I don't give a fuck if the whole team goes home tonight, I - don't - care!

(interview) Chef Ramsay's been on like a kicking out spree right now. I'm scared shitless right now, I'm not going to lie!

Stupid bitch. (interview) I'm still fucking pissed. I don't even wanna look at Robyn. She makes me sick, so I'm trying to put this nasty bitch in the back of my head.

(to Barbie and Dana) I'm annoyed that she (Kimmie) blamed it all on me. (interview) Kimmie got pissed off, and she told Chef Ramsay I said, "No," to everything, and I'm like... "I didn't say no to everything." (to Tiffany) THAT'S WHAT I'M PISSED OFF ABOUT!

(interview) Somebody as big as Kimmie should be able to stand up for herself. I think the people on the red team don't respect her, and we have good reason!

I didn't call her out up there!

Right.

I didn't say that! You're gonna fucking call me out like that?! That shows your character now! (interview) Kimmie never takes fault for anything! I've been nothing but helping this girl out since the fucking beginning.

We will not make any progress with her. The only thing that we're gonna do is put ourselves even further behind. (interview) Kimmie's usefulness is running thin with the red team.

I can't push someone who doesn't want to be pushed!

(interview) Nobody's really talking about the fact that I fried the fucking eggplant, so thank God for that.

Somehow she just keeps fucking skating by.

I don't give a fuck how tall you are, how big you are! Do not step up to me like that!

Leave me the fuck alone!

It's ridiculous! We need to fucking talk about it!

Christina Wilson

(interview) The red team's breaking down from the inside out, and it's–it is not good. Even the two (Robyn and Kimmie) that were ride or die with each other are not even in the same room.

[gets into bed] I got crazy bitches on my team.

Minutes before Hell's Kitchen opens for its ever first fashion night, the red team...

Hey, ladies. Once that last model has walked off the catwalk, [claps] bang! We go!

Yes, chef!

...is standing by, ready for action.

Is everyone ready?

Meanwhile, in the blue kitchen...

Let's go.

...Clemenza on the fish station is waiting for no one.

STOP! Clemenza! What are you doing?!

Scallops, chef.

We're not even open yet! Why is he cooking the scallops?! Oh God, Clemenza. How many portions of scallops have we wasted?

Four.

(interview) Clemenza, what the fuck are you doing?

Clemenza, I am fucking pissed off!!

(interview) Oh, my God. Someone's leaving right now.

ARE YOU READY TO GO HOME?!

No way, chef!

Someone go get me another fucking beef, please.

(interview) Fuck no! I'm not going over to the Blue kitchen and getting my ass reamed!

(interview) So all these fucking girls on my team talk up the talk but they don't back it up! Get your fucking finger out of your ass and stop being fucking scared!

Christina! I need more beef!

Christina Wilson

Alright. Two?

Christina Wilson

(interview) You are so going to notice a Red jacket in the Blue kitchen, it's not even funny...

Christina Wilson

(interview) I was looking, and I'm looking and I started to go in...

(to the blue team) Let's go!

Christina Wilson

(interview) And then, here comes Chef Ramsay. And I was all like "Fuck this!"

Honestly, it's gets fucking worse. All of you come here. Just touch that fish there. Just touch how dry. It's got more fucking wrinkles on it than I have and I'm forty-four years of age. That should be put fucking fresh! [pounds the counter]

We not going to to yell unless he yells at one of the chefs.

How long ago did you cook that?

Three minutes ago.

Three minutes ago?

Yes, chef.

That's fresh three minutes ago? Just touch.

(interview) That shit is nasty.

I took it off three minutes ago and I covered it.

So? Again when did you cook it?

Seven minutes ago, then.

Oh. Seven minutes ago?

Well, I took out three minutes ago. So four minutes for to cook, so seven minutes ago.

Yeah, maybe seventeen minutes ago. [throws the plate with the fish onto the counter]

(interview) You've got to be out of your fucking mind to lie to Chef Ramsay, because he knows, he's not stupid.

What's going on with the fish, Kimmie, I got to re-fire it.

Three minutes.

Get rid of that shit. [gives the plate to Christina Wilson who bins the fish] I wouldn't even serve that to my fucking cat. Fuck off, Robyn.

Chef Ramsay does not need to put the Blue Team in our kitchen. It’s embarrassing. You know, obviously, all that point that the red team has lost tonight.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, all of you! Just STOP!! Come here, all of you! Just touch them. Put your hand on top. Put your hand on-- (to Robyn and Tiffany) PUT YOUR HAND ON TOP!!

I'm putting it on top. I need to get over there.

Put it on top. Put it on top. Stone-cold! Red team! You, you, you, you, you. Fuck off! [Kimmie slams her towel on her station upon exit] (to Christina Wilson, who's still in the kitchen) GET OUT!!

The red team is stuck on their last two tickets.

How long Tiff?

I don't know exactly.

Still waiting for Tiffany's undercooked potato garnish.

Christina Wilson

(interview) You should know that they were your potatoes. That was your component right? That was your idea for the menu right?

I'm sorry. What do you want me to say? Don't give me that look!

Don't get an attitude with me! You're killing my steaks!

I don't know, Kimmie. I don't know.

Tiffany,

Sorry.

No, you're not!

Yes I am!

No, you're fucking not!

Yes I am.

You're the sloppiest cook I've ever seen in my whole entire life!

Sorry.

No, you're not!

Okay, I'm not.

You have such a fucking attitude! Why don't you take a walk? And Dana take over her section.

Yes, chef.

(leaves) Have fun. (interview) Okay, look at Tiffany. Let's make fun of her. I don't care about anything apparently. So, what the fuck? You all just made me look like a fucking idiot. Bye! (cries)