Gail quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Here's the two beef and a lamb.

What is she doing?

Two beef and lamb, where's the halibut?

Well, I just wanted to bring this to you, chef.

You just what?

I wanted to bring this to you, chef.

What?!

(interview; in a high pitch voice) Wha-- a-- Is this bitch crazy?!

And where's the halibut, then? And where's the garnish? (to Gail) Are you ready?

No, chef. (interview) I told her not to bring the beef up because everything has to come up at the pass together so that we can send out the whole entire table together at the same time.

Why are you throwing them under the bus?

I'm not, chef.

So what the fuck is this doing here?!

I'm sorry, chef. I cooked it for you, chef. I don't know--

What can I do with it?

Nothing, chef.

Oh, fuck off. Hey, Baby Spice. As long as you're okay, right?

No, chef.

"Here's my food, fuck everybody else! She doesn't fucking care.

Sabrina, you are quite frankly the most selfish cook in here.

Believe it or not, you don't know me, and you don't know what I'm capable of, Chef. I made a mistake, I fucked up. Give me an opportunity to prove to you that I can do better, chef, and honestly if it's between us two (her and Lisa)... I mean... I'm...

Yeah, thank you.

She's spent, Chef... you know...I'm young. The world is my oyster. [simultaneously] Just give me...You're spent.

What was that? I'm spent? Spent?

[clarifying] Finished.

Yeah, you're finished.

Are you kidding me?

No, I'm serious.

I will cook circles around you, honey. I may be 48, but believe me, you don't have a chance.

Sabrina, who do you think should go home?

I think that Nona should go home, chef. Her idea of fine dining is fried chicken, chef? She can't cook asparagus. She...snores and it keeps us all awake, and I honestly believe she's good for nothing, chef.

(whispering) That was low.

She's crap, and she can't cook asparagus, but she's not standing in your shoes there. Quite frankly, all four of you (Lisa, Sabrina, Raj and Trev) should go.

Get a good night's sleep, because seven of you need to fight back. Quickly!

Yes, chef.

Now FUCK OFF!

(interview) The blue team should get used to getting their asses kicked. They're like little dominoes and the red team is gonna knock each one of them out. (laughs)

(interview) I'm there scrambling trying to save my fucking guys' asses and they threw me under not only the bus. They threw me under the train, the plane, the helicopter, and the... fucking buggy.

(interview) I know that the guys in my team are shitting in their pants knowing that Raj is going to destroy them. [gets up and points to the camera] I'M HERE TO STAY, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, 'CAUSE I AM THE BEST! [falls off his interview chair] WHAAAOW! [climbs back up to the chair] HAAA!

[to himself, after everyone has returned to the dorms] God. (voiceover) Curtis might have been a good old boy, but unfortunately, he wasn't good at cooking.

Chef, hold on. (on his wellingtons) It's raw.

Oh, come on.

I can't give you raw meat. I'm sorry chef.

Thanks to Boris, no food is leaving the Blue kitchen.

There you go, send it back.

But thanks to Raj, none of them are going to waste.

(interview) I see all this food, and it looks delicious, so I just, you know, ate it.

Raj, please don't do that.

Look, he's eating it, look! Haven't you got enough in there?

But that's so good! It's really a waste.

Wow!

No. I mean — just a quick little bite. It's really tasty.

Ah, fucking hell.

(interview) How could Chef Ramsay blame me for eating this delicious food? It's fantastic.

While Raj has snack time in the blue kitchen over in the Red kitchen, Gail... [cuts to Gail staring in space]

Gail!

...has nap time.

Wakey-wakey! (sees Gail's meat pan catching fire) You're on fire.

(interview) Oh, my God! There's flames shooting up! And Gail was (sticks her tongue out in disgust) nothing. Nothing's happening.

Gail, out the way! Oh my God. [removes the pan off the burner and throws it into the sink; gets the burnt rib-eye beef] Gail, I think your pan's a bit too hot. [throws the rib-eye back in the sink] You've lost it.

I haven't lost it.

Yes, you - look, you've given up. Body language, face, attitude, you've given up. Anyone that can stand there, and watch a piece of rib-eye beef SET ON FIRE is out of control! You've given up.

(to Melissa) So three three's are what?

[while cooking ravioli] Six.

(shakes his head) Oh...

Oh, three three--nine! Yes!

And you've got-- hey, come here you. Come here. Three three's are six?

No--I was counting the pans, chef. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I'm watching you like a hawk. Do you know why? You can't even count to nine. You scare me.

(interview) What the fuck is she doing over there? Melissa can't handle it.

Two three's are six. Three three's are what?

Nine.

(interview) Do you want me to come over there and cook for you?

Right now, get it together, and we need to focus!

Yes, chef.

All of you, come here! What night is this? What fucking night?

Important night of the year!

Yeah, the most important night. Is this the most important gnocchi you've ever cooked?!

No, it's not.

Fuck off will you? (slams the pan on the workstation)

Come on, Trev.

What is that?

(interview) That looks like a big-ass booger.

Oh, my God.

Wake up, Trevor! Nothing's coming out! ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT! WAKE UP!

(to Trev) My lobster's up and you have no garnish.

(interview) Get off my pass and let me cook!

(to Holli) Trev is gone tonight. What do you think?

Yeah.

What do you need Trev?

(interview) This is not what he needs. Trev sucks. Dude, are you stoned? Like, did you smoke a joint before you came in here?

Trevor, you can't serve with those carrots in a burned pan.

Oh, no. I am going to fucking fix it.

I'll help you!

Do not help me! Get the fuck out of my ass! Don't fucking help me!

(interview) He is so stupid.

Does anybody need help right now? I'm good on app(etizer)s.

Could use a hand over here, definitely.

Here's your shallots.

How many are on the garnish? One... two... three of you. Sabrina garnish, Nona garnish! Trev, what are you doing?

Working it chef.

(to Gail) Gail, go over to the garnish as well, and might as well.

(interview) I've never seen Chef Ramsay called over the entire kitchen to help one person. Ridiculous. [to Trev] The squash is burning.

The squash is what? Burning? [facepalms]

Gail! Look, I've got raw pasta! [picks up several strands of undercooked capellini] Hey, look at it! It's standing up straight! Look, madam! It's like a fucking thong leftover from a fucking night out in Vegas! COME ON!! All of you, just taste that, will you?! Taste it! Taste it! That's what you're sending me, taste it!

It's hard. [Nona spits out pasta into a trash bin]

(interview, groans) Bad night. Bad night for me.

Hold on, hey. It gets worse! [lifts pasta pan to show another pan with raw lobster underneath it] Touch that.

Rubber.

It's raw.

(to Gail) Every lobster you sent me tonight—Its been undercooked, overcooked! Undercooked, overcooked! Now, it's [slams fist on workstation] FUCKING RAW! Look at me! Get out!

Yes, chef. [leaves red kitchen for the dorms]

Get out! Get OUT! (to Jillian) Fish and garnish!

Okay, chef.

(interview) That fucking lobster! I failed my team. I failed Chef Ramsay, so, um... It hurts. [sighs] There's no crying in the kitchen.

There's no teamwork, there's no care, there's no passion! FUCK OFF!

(interview) I've never seen such chaos!

I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm fucking dying!

(interview) He's gonna kick us all out of the kitchen.

All of you, JUST STOP!

(interview) We're done, this is over.

COME HERE! [pause; to Sabrina] What's wrong with you?

Nothing, chef.

Look at me! Hey, look, you ignorant bitch! Look at my fucking eyes when I'm talking to you!

Yes, chef.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

I'm trying to work, chef. I'm trying to communicate.

WAKE UP!

Yes, chef.

(to Trev) You! What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

GET A GRIP!

You got it.

(to Russell) Hey, you! You may bark, but there's shit all coming out! [to Gail] And, you, look! Hailbut's STUCK TO THE PAN! [slams fist down]

(interview) We don't deserve to wear the black jackets, and this far into the game, we should be able to run a kitchen.

For GOD'S SAKE! [throws spoon across the kitchen]

(to Trev) Hey bozo! [does a stop signal; angrily knocks the workstation with both hands] Just all of you, look at me now! It's like you're doing it on purpose!

Oh, chef's losing it.

Hard, undercooked, and stone-cold. Three beef… hold on hey, just put your finger on that. Look at us! WE DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!! WHERE'S YOUR PASSION?!! (angrily throws his spoon) I'm done standing here in a bunch of idiots! (throws his apron on the workstation) Fuck you all! Good luck, superstars! [he and Sous-Chef Scott exited the kitchen and left] Fucking useless. Aiyayayay.

(interview) We are fucked. Come on.

Oh, man.

Aw, there he is.

Aw he’s left.

(interview) This is over. Over.

(to himself) Oh, Jesus!

Holy shit! What the fuck just happened?! Chef is pissed!