Michael Dussault quotes from Hell's Kitchen

The fuck is that? [brings the scallops back to the kitchen] Hey, all of you, come here. Hurry up!

(interview) This isn't going to be good.

Just touch them. Just touch the top of them. Look at them. Look, look. Look. So, we've got fucking colour on one side, and boiled the next.

Yes, chef.

(interview) Stupid mistakes, Michael. We're on our first ticket. We've got Chef Ramsay up our ass. This is not a good sign!

The sad thing is he [smashes the scallops with his hand] FUCKS two portions as well! Young man, you need to know, you are not at the fucking senior home!

Yes, chef.

One more like that, and you can fuck off back there!

Yes, chef.

Tonight!

Yes, chef.

(interview) I don't understand it. We've been in this business our whole lives. They're fucking scallops. It ain't rocket science.

(to Michael) What are you reading through there? What are you—

I'm just going through it in my mind, chef.

This, [rips up menu] you don't need.

Yes, chef.

You do not need that. Look at yourself in the mirror, and scream risotto ingredients.

Risotto ing-!

Number one, what is it?

Oil, chef.

Rice, you fucking pillock.

(interview) Michael's kind of just a hot mess.

If he doesn't know what's in a fucking risotto, we're screwed!

(interview) Hey, Mike, I like you. It's nothing personal, but everyone knows you're the weakest chef here.

Beet salad.

Oh my God! MICHAEL!

Yes, chef!

What's the beet salad for? It's not even on order.

(interview) What?! [chuckles] Michael, what? What are you doing?

(to Michael) It's like you're cooking for imaginary friends! It's not on order!

(interview; sighs)

Is it just to look busy?!

No, chef. I–I heard, chef. I made a mistake.

You heard it? You got little voices in your head?

Yes, chef.

Let me put one more in there. [whispers in Michael's ear] WAKE UP!

Yes, chef.

Now fuck off!

Have you two got this?

Yes, chef. (interview) I need to fight back, you know? I want to show Chef Ramsay that I'm sorry that I gave him shit!

Two scallops, Michael?!

Yes, chef!

Where are they?

Hey, hey, hey! Stop! STOP!! (to Michael) What did I ask you to do?

Scallops, chef.

The scallops aren't even in the pan, right? And look. I got the dressed salad!

(interview) Michael, we are going down in flames right now because of you!

I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO! I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO FUCKING GO!!

Let's go, boys! We have to come back! Come on!

(to Milly) Fuck it, I got it.

You sure?

I got it! (to Gordon) Scallops at the window.

[flips over scallops and sees them raw underneath] Ah, fucking hell. (to blue team) Hey, hey. STOP! [points at Brendan, Cameron, and Michael] You, you, you, come here.

Yes, chef.

The rest of you, continue cooking.

Yes, chef.

(to Michael; while handing him the scallop tray) Take that.

Yes, chef.

...and fuck off out of here.

Yes, chef.

GET OUT!

Michael, what the fuck are you doing?

Fucking Jesus. Michael! [puts pan back on the stove] What are you doing?

Chef, I put it away, chef.

What?

It was over here burning, chef.

But why stick it down there?! Whose tray is that?

It's, uh, salmon, chef.

Fish (station).

They're talking, they go down and grab the pan, they're gonna scald themselves!

Yes, chef. You're right, chef.

Then why would you put–[backs away while Michael reaches to grab the pan]

Sorry, chef.

What are you doing?!

It was over here burning.

Shut up! CAN YOU WAIT UNTIL I FUCKING FINISH?!

(interview) I put the pan out of the way just so that nobody would get hurt.

If the pan's about to burst into flames, what do you do?!

I'm sorry, chef!

(to Bret) Come on young man!

(interview) Myself and Josh on the fish station could've had to leave Hell's Kitchen because of a third-degree burn. Like "taking skin from your ass to put it on your hand" type shit.

[puts pan in the sink] Fucking hell!

One wellington, one lamb!

Yes, chef!

The lamb's under.

Close it up and get back in for a minute.

Alright. Mike, we'll give it a second, okay?

Right now?

No, like, I need a minute. Okay?

Extra minute heard.

Yes, thank you!

Walking with garnish!

Michael. I said a minute! (interview) I'd rather have Chef Ramsay yell at me for taking too long than have him yell at me for sending him undercooked lamb. (to Brendan) Brendan, bring it up.

Hey, the lamb's full of blood. All of you, come here. Who donkeyed that?

I sliced the lamb first, chef.

And what did you tell yourself?

It was a little under, chef.

No, it's a lot more than a little! [cuts into the lamb] Raw white fat. [slams fist onto the plate]

(interview; sighs) Fuck!

Fuck off, all of you! GET OUT! Shit beginning, shit middle, and a shit end!

(interview) I'm a little furious right now. I hate fucking losing and getting kicked out of the kitchen.

Get out, get out, get out! GET OUT!!