Will quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Ladies first. What is it?

It is a chicken-fried ribeye with Yukon gold mash and white truffle cream gravy. I actually have a little sugar in there.

Stop. Say that again?

I have sugar in there. That's what my mother always did!

(interview) I do not know who in their right mind would put sugar in mashed potatoes.

Just try it! (interview) Chef Ramsay is going to love it because it's freakin' delicious! It's like an orgasm in your mouth, come on! [as Gordon spits out the mashed potato] Oh, God!

[stifling a laugh] I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh!

That... is disgusting.

(to Brendan) Filet is already up, bro! Watch the potatoes, they're about to burn!

Got 'em.

Well then pull them off!!

We're waiting on the sides!

Got 'em.

[sees the potatoes burnt while Brendan still sears them] Brendan, look at me. The potatoes in front of you. They're burnt. You're standing over them!

(brief pause) Yes, chef!

(interview) Brendan wanna sit there and puff out his fuckin' chest: "I'm gonna fuckin' do this! I'm a fuckin' man!". Bullshit bro, you suck!!!!

COME ON, GUYS!

That's twice in a row. Cooked to perfection, but we can't even SEND THE TABLE TOGETHER! Because NOBODY'S TOGETHER! SMOOTH SERVICE? MY ARSE!!

I've never in my whole career ever been stopped by fucking side items. Never.

Oh, come on. [Returns to workstation] Uh, Tommy! The duck is OVERCOOKED!

FUCK! It's ridiculous, man!

Tommy, start a new chicken. It's overcooked! You have one ready.

That's a duck! [throws his spoon away]

It's a duck.

Duck. Sorry, chef.

(calls the entire team) All of you, come here. Not one entrée has left this fucking kitchen! GET IT TOGETHER!

Yes, chef!

[checks Brendan's seabass] Oh, come on. Brendan, it's raw.

(to Brendan) COME ON, BRO! REALLY? (interview) Brendan, you suck! You suck!

Blue team, BLUE TEAM!

Yes, chef?

STOP! It's just got worse. Not one entrée has left together yet. NOT ONE! (Chino) You fucked me on the risotto! (Tommy) You screwed me on the duck and now I got a raw bass! What are you going to do now? Any suggestions? [the blue team doesn't answer] I've got one big suggestion! [points to every member of the Blue team] You, you, you, you, you, FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE! GET UPSTAIRS!

(interview) What the fuck, man? It is so frustrating, dude. It made us look like a bunch of little sissy-ass bitches, man.

(calls to the red team) Ladies?

Yes, chef?

I need four of you in here finishing the blue team. Any of you.

Yes, chef.

(interview) Having another person coming in to finish what I fucking started is the most infuriating slap in the face, literally "taking your dick out and whipping it across my chin" feeling that I have ever had in my life.

[angrily throws water bottle] FUCK!

I didn't sign up for this, bro. Send my ass home, bro.

Absolutely nothing came out right.

People just don't know how to fucking cook. (interview) That was, like, the biggest pussy bullshit I've ever experienced in my life, man. [to his teammates] I've never been kicked out of a kitchen, bro.

It's EMBARRASSING! [points at Brendan] HE CAN'T FUCKING COOK! [points at Chino] HE DIDN'T GET THE FUCKING RISOTTO OUT!

I didn't sign up for this! I signed up to win! We're all supposed to be professional chefs, right?

I AGREE!

RIGHT? SO, WHAT THE FUCK?

I'm not happy about it either.

You think you're pissed? I'm pissed too, all right? We just got our asses kicked in a big game.

I don't like to lose! This is the only thing I'm good at, bro! (interview) I did not come out of here to be made a fool of! That's too much for me! (in the dorms) No, this is some fucking - [kicks something] (to his teammates) Do you realize that they're all in our kitchen right now serving our guests?

Yeah.

We're getting whooped by a bunch of fucking chicks in there! (interview) We just got schooled, man! We should've had a fucking pen and a piece of paper. We should've been taking notes. We just got our asses fucking kicked, bro. (to his teammates) Like, come on, man!

Men, I'm - I'm disappointed. Will?

Yes, chef?

Who should leave Hell's Kitchen tonight?

100%, Brendan and Chino.

Paul, who should go?

Brendan and Chino.

Jonathon?

I voted for Brendan and Chino.

If you had to pick one?

I choose Chino.

Some of you guys are just a bunch of fucking phonies, you know that? All you do is scream what Chef Ramsay says, and when Chef Ramsay leaves, you just clam up. You don't–you don't wanna put yourself out there.

You can go fuck yourself, Chino.

You know why they're (Red Team) winning? You know why the girls are winning? They may not like each other, but they all fucking study their shit. I–I'm getting balled out on risotto. What do you do? You go at me.

I didn't see you jumping in trying to help somebody else like I was!

I couldn't! 'Cause I was getting fucked up! I was fucking up! How could I help somebody if I'm fucking up? [Gordon facepalms]

Team player? You ain't no team player!

Okay? I felt sorry for him, alright?

You don't even know what that means! Fuck you!

Guys!

Anyway, Brendan and Chino, step forward.

Alright, order in. Squab, risotto, scallop, tart. Entrée: wellington, cod, strip, and bass.

Yep, rice is going.

Scallop.

Starting to go, starting to go, starting to go. (interview) We had our first two services, and it was a loss. It sucked.

Doing my fish thing.

(interview) We got an opportunity to work out any kinks that we might've seen in service. (to Natalie) Three minutes out.

Now, I'm gonna say, "Okay, dude, it's not ready. So, it's still, uh... in the oven, so... Hey, you gotta give me four minutes."

No, that's not good.

[impersonating Gordon's British accent while slamming his fist on workstation] HOW LONG?!

You gotta give me four minutes, dude.

(interview) Chino sat there and was like... [chuckles and shakes his head]

OK, three minutes—three minutes on the—three minutes on the wellington.

Three minutes!

(interview) He can't even fake being a good cook. [facepalms]

So I need two minutes!

Say—say I'm behind again.

(interview) I mean, really? There's no cooking involved. I mean, how hard is that?

That's it—that's it, I'm just gonna try and...

[in British accent] HURRY UP!

[in British accent] CHINO!

What is that?

Cold too. Ice-cold.

CHINO!!

(interview; sighs)

All of you, come here! Just touch that. Touch the meat.[Blue Team touches the wellington] It's raw! RAW!!

Come on, we need to get it together!

Come on, guys!

(on the wellington) Look at that. Chewed up to fuck. (on the lamb) And that? That's raw.

Yep.

It's pink. [returns to the workstation and throws his spoon away] Blue team, STOP!! (to Chino) Come here you, look at that. [holds the undercooked lamb] That is raw. [points the lamb fat] That is white fat, [takes the destroyed wellington dough] and what have you done to this? Wha-wha-what is that? So now, you've just fucked [knocks his hand on the workstation, and the word "me" was never heard] me!!

Yes, chef. Yes, chef. (interview) I feel like a dumbass, moron, idiot because I can cook better than that. It's just... It's embarrassing.

There you go. [tosses the tray on the floor] All of you, FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE! GET UPSTAIRS!

[leaves the kitchen] I'm so fucking pissed, it's not even funny. (interview) We suck. The way I look at it is, any time you get a service shut down, you suck.

(to Janet Evans & Mark Spitz) My apologies. In the last service, they were good. That’s what hurts.

You gotta fight for it!

Exactly.

After shutting down the blue kitchen...

Now I want to serve the chef table one lamb, one bass.

Chef Ramsay looks to the red team to deliver entrees to both chef's tables

Two cod, one lobster, one wellington!

Yes, chef.

(to Tommy) Three and half minutes, yes? On the two cod? The wellington? [Tommy doesn't respond]

Tommy!

Tommy, how long on the cod? You're driving!

TOMMY!

(interview) Tommy doesn't talk. He shuts down, he gets real quiet! And then he doesn't talk to Chef, and that's a sign of disrespect to Chef, so Chef gets even madder at him! (to Tommy) Tommy, how long?!

Tommy, you're keeping us all fucking waiting now!

I'm just going, chef. It's coming, I promise.

Yeah, then give me a fucking time!

Two minutes, yes?

No, give me five!

Oh, fucking hell.

I gotta redo that cod. (to Will) Can't put that out, right?

Fuck, man!

(to Monterray) Yeah, push it back. Five on that cod, guys. Five on that two cod. (interview) I'm being a leader for myself in Hell's Kitchen right now. I'm making sure things leaving my hands are perfect, and that's how I'll be noted.

Monterray! Hey, bozo! How can you keep on reheating your meat before it's overcooked?!

It's not, chef!

You don't know how to fucking do it!

It won't be, chef! It won't be!

Cod, sea bass, wellington, (New York) strip! I HOPE IT'S WORKING!

These are up for the cod. Can we plate this?

(to Monterray) Wellington!

[cuts into the wellington] Oh, my fucking God! [both halves of the wellington are raw in the center] Will, take a look at this. I don't think that's gonna pass.

If you don't think that's right, you need to let them know now.

Guys, I don't think it's right! Pull back!

Oh, fuck off! [slams spoon on workstation] Fuck off! (to Monterray) Come here, you!

That was me, chef.

I sent you four minutes ago! How can you continue cooking a wellington?!

I had two, chef. One was over and I still had one to send with the others, chef. And the other one was overcooked as well.

So they're both overcooked? [points at Tommy] You! Come here, you!

Yes, chef.

Last table was the cod, overcooked. Now it's the wellington. Let me communicate to both of you! FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE!! Get out of here, both of you! PISS OFF! Get upstairs and fucking sit and high-five each other! GET OUT, TOMMY!

Blue Team, I've got an amazing day. Do you like speed?

Meth or coke?[the contestants laugh]

Oh, my God! [Gordon slaps himself]

Only kidding! I'm only kidding!

[to Natalie] Switch spots with me, please. [he and Natalie do so]

You're going to make me stand next to him (Tommy)?

New York strip, wellington. Where are we?

How long, Tommy?

Anybody helping him or what?

Hold on, I got it! I got it!

You gotta cut those too, man!

Hold on. I got a rhythm going.

Oh, fuck me. You three.

Cut it and bring them up.

Bring it up!

What's this one, normal or medium? Is that medium?

Tommy, which one's well?

I don't know which one's well!

Medium or well?

(interview) Tommy can cook, but Tommy doesn't communicate. Tommy's in his own fucking world.

Tommy, what's this one?

Where's the two medium? (to Tommy) Stop. Leave me alone. Leave me alone, Tommy.

That's the medium rare, chef.

Leave me alone. My fucking head hurts.

The last two are medium.

[to Blue Team] All of you. All of you, just touch that. Just touch that! Where's the two medium?

Here, chef. And that is the medium rare.

Oh, the cold one? (to Tommy) You made me look like a fucking arsehole in front of Wolfgang Puck today! Now, that's... that's hot, that's lukewarm, and that's cold. Are you done?

No, no, no!

Yeah, I'm done with you!

Tommy, heat them up! Get them back to the fucking pass!

How long?!

HOW LONG?!

Three minutes, chef.

You have another wellington you can use, or do I need to put this one in?

WHY CAN'T WE JUST FUCKING REHEAT THEM?! [slams fist on workstation]

IT'S FALLING APART! IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT, I'M NOT SENDING IT OUT LIKE THAT!

Meanwhile, in the blue kitchen...

How long two bass, one chicken, one cod?

Walking now, chef.

Paul is ready with the blue team's first entrées.

What's he done? It's raw! (brief pause) Paul!

Is it raw chef?

Stop! All of you, come here! Paul just asked me, 'Is it raw?'

It's under!

(To Paul) Will you tell me? Just touch that! TOUCH THAT! [Natalie touches the chicken] ROMANTIC DINNER?! [throws his spoon away on the workstation]

(interview) It pisses me off because Paul knows better that. I mean... you just can't serve raw chicken.

(to Paul) Hey, chef! Let me ask you, is that raw?

Chef, its under. I got another one. I'll give it to you right now--

Hey, come here you! Answer my fucking question.

Yes, chef. It's raw.

GET OUT!

[loses his temper and throws his towel on the floor] Fuck!

Pink carnations, maybe. Pink chicken, no chance!

[angrily knocks on the wall with both hands; having throw tantrums] (interview) I fucked up on a chicken! I mean, I'm fucking furious at myself! [kicks his door to the dorms] Chef Ramsay, let me back in! Let me finish what I started.

Tommy, give that to Paul for his fucking romantic dinner. Upstairs, hurry up!

PUT THE SCALLOPS ON!

Shut up!

Grape jokes. So many grape jokes.

(to Tommy) Are you serious right now bro? Natalie is going to fucking snap if you tell one grape joke.

(interview; with a deep funny voice) Hey Guys This Is Grape! Hello! [laughs then groans in frustration]

If you hold on a second, uh.. you know I think my brain will work if I have "grape" expectations.

I'm so tired.

(interview) Please say one more damn grape joke. Please do it. Because, I'm going to fucking choke you-

Natalie, I feel like after my jokes, I've lost all ap-peel to you.

(interview; softly) Oh my god! [Natalie has enough] I am tired of these stupid fucking grapes. [throws the grapes away]

Calm down, Natalie.

You know why? because I'm not peeling anymore grapes, this is as stupid as shit, and I'm not doing it....... [throws the grapes on the ground, and jumps on them like she is throwing a tantrum] I'M NOT PEELING THEM ANYMORE! NO MORE! NO MORE FUCKING GRAPES! I'M NOT PEELING ANYMORE GRAPES EVER AGAIN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! THIS IS STUPID!

(interview) [says nothing]

Do you feel better?

(calmed) I feel better.

Oh, that was grape.

[throwing grapes at Tommy] Tommy I'm.... I'm going to kill you.