Ben quotes from Hell's Kitchen

On order six covers, table 20: two spaghetti, two scallops, one risotto, one Caesar. Entrées: three Wellington, get them in!

[shouting over Gordon] Ben, you guys, get going!

I'm coming! I'm coming!

Hey you. Hey fuckwit, come here you. Come here! I'm calling out an order and you just shout over.

Sorry, chef.

You fucking call out the order then. You fuck, FUCKING call out the order!

I need one Caesar, two scallops, one risotto and two spaghetti now! (interview) Yeah, give me the reins, man! Let me drive this bitch!

You fucking interrupt me again next time, you're going for an early bath.

Yes.

A big one in the hot tub!

As Colleen gets schooled in spaghetti, Seth is hoping to score high marks with his first entrée.

Why's it all fucking mangled?

Because he didn't have it ready, and then he sliced it and seared all the chops.

Hey, Forrest! Come here you.

(interview) Ramsay, he keeps calling me "Forrest" as in Forrest Gump. I think it's a great name!

You didn't cook it properly temperature wise, so you decided to buckle it and bastardize it. Now you're really having a laugh, yeah?

(interview) Man, this poor lamb chop just got charred. No excuse for that first lamb.

Would you get excited to come here and eat that shit?

Absolutely not.

Yeah, fuck off, will you, yeah?

(interview) Listen, I screwed up the lamb, but at the end of the service, Gordon and I will be like peas and carrots once again!

Mashed potatoes?

[brings his garnishes to the pass] Fuck!

What are you doing, Wil?

Sorry, chef. I don't know, and this is very hot. (to his teammates) We got a cold sizzle?

Dear, oh dear! Wil!

Yes, chef?

You're shit!

Yes, chef. I am.

You are so shit, it's unbelievable!

[hands Wil his garnish] Wil, here's your artichokes and potatoes. They're seasoned and ready, sir, yeah?

Thank you.

Are you on the garnish now, Robert?

I just want to help him out [Wil], chef.

Charlie's on the garnish, Robert's on the garnish, yeah? And Wil is on Planet Cuckoo.

(interview) Wil got thrown to the dogs on the garnish station. By the time I got around to help him, it was ugly.

Wil, there's not one cook in the kitchen that hasn't been on the garnish with you tonight!

(interview) Being on the receiving end of Chef Ramsay's wrath...(groans) yeah, that sorta sucked.

Dear, oh dear, oh dear.

(interview) Meat is one of my fortes. I definitely had six, seven out of eight without even looking.

Ring the bell, ring the bell. Go for it!

I can't hear that!

Ring the fucking bell!

Seven wrong for blue, let's go.

Holy shit! We're working backwards!

(interview) SETH, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

Seth's poor performance has set the men back. Now Lacey has a golden opportunity to redeem herself with her team.

Come on, Lacey!

(interview) It's my chance to show my team that I can step up, and that I deserve to be here.

Come on! We can do this!

Move it, Lacey!

(interview) Lacey was just moving things around for the feeling that she was doing something, and you know what, that's no different to how she is in the kitchen.

Six wrong.

Robert has only improved on Seth by one.

(to Lacey) Come on, let's go! Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Okay... (sees that Lacey has placed the "bottom round" label near one of the model cow's front legs) BOTTOM ROUND?! WHAT DOES "BOTTOM" MEAN? One, two, three, four, five, six wrong! Dear oh dear!

It's 30 minutes into dinner service, and Ben is trying to impress Chef Ramsay with his speed.

[bringing some chocolate brownie desserts to the pass] Coming down with desserts. Coming down with desserts.

Unfortunately, having dessert ready before the appetizers is not exactly what Chef Ramsay had in mind.

Dickhead, put them down. [calls entire team] Hey, all of you, come here. Ben's now bringing me a chocolate fucking brownie. [tosses one dessert on the counter] WHAT'S GOING ON?!

(interview) I didn't know what was going on, but he brought up dessert four minutes in. I mean, I've done some stupid shit, but that's embarrassing.

So, let's do it this way, then. There you go. [puts the desserts on the pass] Ben wants to serve the chocolate brownie before we serve the appetizers.

No, chef.

What are you dreaming on?! Are you stupid?!

No, chef.

You've got cheesecake made as well!

Yes, chef.

We've trashed six desserts before we've sent out fucking appetizers!

My fault, chef. (interview) It was my mistake for not exactly knowing Chef Ramsay's terminologies, but fuck me if the words "pick" and "up" don't mean "give you the desserts!"

Have you been drinking or sniffing?

No, chef. No, chef.

Look at me: Go upstairs for a lie-down.

No, no, chef!

Go on, go upstairs for a lie-down. [leads Ben out of the kitchen, then walks away] Useless. Absolutely useless. [a couple of seconds pass, then Ben quickly returns into the kitchen]

Giovanni!

Yes, chef?

Where's the New York strip?

Chef, I'm four minutes away!

Oh, my God. SWITCH IT OFF! We're now over two hours. He (Seth) fucks the filet, (to Charlie) the shrimps go down, (to Ben) this dick sends me dessert before the appetizers! [throws his apron] Fuck off! (to Jean-Philippe) Jean-Philippe, shut it down, yes? Two hours over. Clear down!

(interview; tonight was originally planned to have been his wedding) I've embarrassed myself, my family, my girlfriend. [throws his buff off angrily]

Here we go. Here comes the pain.

Imma tell you one thing: I don't like fucking losing. Come on, Danny, I was over there helping with you then I jumped over, I had to help with the eggs. We were all helping each other.

[interjecting] You should've been on eggs the whole time.

You were the one drowning on the pancakes, buddy.

That is-that is correct.

Look, you gave me a hand walking the pancakes up, and thank you for that.

Wait a minute, Danny. [J laughs] Come on, man. Are you serious right now?

What? You-you helped me plate some pancakes, and I appreciate it, thank you, I-I'm not a-

It's cool, man. Don't worry about it. I just-

I mean, I'm not a hero here, I never said I was.

You said that earlier. You said you were the best cook.

I am obviously the best cook on the team.

You want to hear something, dude? I will cook circles around you! I will circle you like a fucking moon!

Where have you been?

Hey, hey come on! Danny, come on! Hey, Ben!

[over Giovanni] Are you joking me? You couldn't cook my COCK!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Are you joking me? I AM SO FUCKING-

Where have you been?

[stands between Danny and Ben] Be quiet! Quiet! Quiet!

We'll see you on garnish. Let me see you on garnish.

Shut the fuck up.

I mean- you know what, I need two minutes, I need two minutes, bro.

Take your two minutes, bro, because I haven't seen you in the kitchen yet.

This is - HEY!

Where have you been?

[heads down to the patio] (interview) Danny's ego is getting the better of him, and he needs to come back down on this planet.

YOU'VE GOTTEN A COMPLIMENT YET, BEN?

OK. On order: Four covers, Table 4. Two risotto, one spaghetti, one Caesar salad.

Yes, Chef!

(to Giovanni) Is it [the water] boiling?

How long?

I'm waiting for the water to boil, Chef.

You expect me to tell Jean-Philippe we're waiting for your water to boil?

Oh, I'm sorry.

(interview) Oh, man, Gio. How do you expect to cook pasta in water that's not boiling?

Hey, look at me. There's no olive oil in there, the water's not seasoned, it's not even boiling!

(interview) Oh, that was my fault. I didn't check my equipment. It won't happen again, that's for sure.

Let's go, Giovanni, let's go! Oh, my God...

While Giovanni's in hot water, over in the Red kitchen, Coi's trying to get ahead.

(to Coi) Why are you cooking spaghetti when I haven't even fired it? DAMN!

Fuck!

WHY?!

I'm sorry, chef.

I can't believe this! Why can't you just drop it to order?!

I will, chef.

Tell me why you can't!

I'm just trying to get ahead, chef.

You can't get ahead! You're not that good!

(interview) I was trying to get so many steps ahead, so I'm kicking myself in the ass because if I would have listened better, he wouldn't be screaming at me.

Coi? Put some more spaghetti in. Make yourself...

Yes, chef.

Hey, I'm joking, you stupid cow!

Come here. All of you, come here! Put it down. (to Ben) Put it fucking down. What is that?

Lamb chop, sir.

Lamb chop, yeah? Eat it. (gives the lamb to Ben and he eats it) Happy now? Now it's getting thinner and thinner and thinner. There's another one. There's one ripped to fuck there now. Too thin, cowboy.

(interview) I'm like, "Ooh, why are you sending that out?" It looked like a piece of carpaccio on a bone, man.

(to Ben) How can someone so fucking fat slice something so fucking thin?

Sorry, chef. It won't happen again, chef.

I wouldn't even serve that to my fucking dog!

I'll fix it right now, chef.

Where's the Wellington, please?

Two minutes on this ticket and the next, chef. So sorry, chef.

(disappointed) Oh...

It's a little on the rare side.

Scallops are undercooked, gonna have a refire, please.

(disappointed) What is going on? Oh no. Oh. [cuts to Coi accidentally dropping her spaghetti on her station] Fuck off - oh, no. Shit! Look at that! You, guy. (Robert) Come here, you fat fuck. Come here. All of you, come here. COME HERE! Hey, hey, look at me. You are pathetic. NO ONE won! FUCK OFF, both teams, start thinking about two of you to fucking go home. (to Coi) You, PATHETIC! I don't want anymore. (to Ben) I don't-I don't want to wait for your shit anymore, (to Danny) I don't want your shit anymore, (to Seth) I don't want you drying your face, and then fucking cooking with the cloth, YOU SCUMMY FUCKER! GET OUT! [all chefs exited the kitchen except Ben; he approaches him] GET OUT!

While Carol and Andrea chew on their mistakes, in the blue kitchen, J is hoping to redeem himself.

(with a piece of undercooked salmon) J!

Yes, chef?

Come on, then! Look, it's still stone-cold. Back in the oven! Fucking hell...

J, I know you're busy, buddy, but how long on the salmon, my man?

Five minutes.

Give me the tuna! Give me the-

He said four minutes out. Can you make it four?

Everything you've touched so far, tonight, has been screwed.

(interview) J just lost his shit, man. He was just clamming up, didn't take control. He was burning the seafood, he was sending raw seafood.

That's called burnt salmon, not seared salmon!

(interview) It takes a real good chef to recover. (to J) You can really turn this around if you want to.

I know.

Wipe your face, wipe your face. [J wipes his face with his sleeve] With a rag!

J, where's the salmon?

Coming around. Right here, chef.

[finds out that the salmon is overdone] Hey, bozo, SAUCE! Come here, you. Put that down, come here, you. Come here, you! Get in there! GET IN!

Fuck.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

I'm here, chef.

It's not good enough, J!

I know, chef. I got no fucking excuse.

What's the matter with you?

I don't know. I'll fucking turn it on right now, chef.

I can't fucking go any further! Please, wake up!

Yes, chef!

As LA tries to get up to speed, over in the blue kitchen...

J! Where's the other scallop?

Right here, chef.

Have you seen this shit?

Disastrous, isn't it?

I have had enough. [calls the blue team] Come here, you! Leave it here, PUT THAT DOWN! You, come here! You come here!

Yes, chef.

What is that? What IS that? What is that? That's us at our best, WHAT IS IT? Wait, it gets better. Look, touch that!

It's rubber, chef.

T-Oh, my GOD! Unbelievable-- [J goes to touch one of the scallops, and Ramsay knocks his hand away] No, no no no, NO! NO! [throws a scallop onto the floor and faces J towards the door] GET OUT! OUT, OUT, OUT! GET OUT! OUT, GET OUT! Take your jacket off, and FUCK OFF!

(interview) I guess I don't belong here, so... I'll be going home. I'm here for a reason, and it's my boy and my wife, so of course I'm disappointed. It was a tough day. (in the dorms) Oh...that's fucked up bro. (interview) My dream when I came to Hell's Kitchen was to win. So, uh, now it's time to move on and get my own restaurants going. You know, I don't need Chef Ramsay's opinion anymore, I've got it. [entering the taxicab] Tomorrow's another day! Let's do it. (interview) It's time for J Maxwell to do his own thing.

Leave it! Fucking hell, what is that?

Wha-I...

What is that, I said! Look at it! It's on fire!

Is this your well-done?

(tearfully) I don't know.

(interview) She was lost. [in mockery of Lacey] "I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, HUHU!!"

What's the matter with you?

I CAN'T COOK MEAT, CHEF!

What do you mean you can't cook meat?

Obviously I'm way too confused...

Hey madam, madam! Get out! GET OUT!

(interview) Can't handle the heat, get out the kit-CHEN!

[follows Lacey to the pantry] "I can't cook meat?"

I–I'm sorry. I just got really confused.

If you got confused, why didn't you say something?

I did and then Robert put the chicken and the chicken went on fire and...!

Why can't you just make the effort?

I'm trying to make an effort.

Do you want to come back in there and make an effort?

Yes, chef.

Well, wake up and get a grip! Come on! [leads Lacey out of the pantry]

It's over an hour into dinner service, and while Ben and Lacey struggle to get out entrées...

I need you right now.

You need to put me on something easier than fucking wellingtons.

Robert has managed to handle the appetizers on his own.

C'mon, guys! Let's fucking do it!

Let's go, move! We got this!

Come on guys, keep pushing! (interview) All I heard was "RRRRRIIIP!"

(to Gordon) Robert's ass is hanging out all over the place.

(interview) "Ooh, I feel a little breeze on the back of my ass!" I'll cook in my boxer shorts, I don't give a shit.

Damn!

Oh Ben!

Chef!?

[returns the sauce to the workstation] Right, all three of you [Ben, Danny & Robert] come here. Here we go. [with spoons] Taste time! Quick, quick, dig in there, yes? Dig in. Make sure you take a nice big mouthful. Big mouthful. Mmmmmm. [spits out the sauce as does Robert]

(interview) I spit it right out, it was disgusting.

Hey, salty soup! You're just reheating it!

Yes.

So, how can you fuck it?!

It was bland before I over reduced it, it's my fault, I should've tasted it chef.

You're clumsy! You salted it!

Yes chef.

You over seasoned it!

Yes I did, chef.

You didn't over reduce it!

(interview) I'm a soldier, that's why I say yes chef.