Nick quotes from Hell's Kitchen

The fuck is that? [brings the scallops back to the kitchen] Hey, all of you, come here. Hurry up!

(interview) This isn't going to be good.

Just touch them. Just touch the top of them. Look at them. Look, look. Look. So, we've got fucking colour on one side, and boiled the next.

Yes, chef.

(interview) Stupid mistakes, Michael. We're on our first ticket. We've got Chef Ramsay up our ass. This is not a good sign!

The sad thing is he [smashes the scallops with his hand] FUCKS two portions as well! Young man, you need to know, you are not at the fucking senior home!

Yes, chef.

One more like that, and you can fuck off back there!

Yes, chef.

Tonight!

Yes, chef.

(interview) I don't understand it. We've been in this business our whole lives. They're fucking scallops. It ain't rocket science.

(to Michael) What are you reading through there? What are you—

I'm just going through it in my mind, chef.

This, [rips up menu] you don't need.

Yes, chef.

You do not need that. Look at yourself in the mirror, and scream risotto ingredients.

Risotto ing-!

Number one, what is it?

Oil, chef.

Rice, you fucking pillock.

(interview) Michael's kind of just a hot mess.

If he doesn't know what's in a fucking risotto, we're screwed!

(interview) Hey, Mike, I like you. It's nothing personal, but everyone knows you're the weakest chef here.

First ticket!

First ticket, give me...fif—twenty seconds, please. Twenty seconds!

(interview) I don't know what the fuck is going on with Cameron.

(to Brendan) Help me!

I got it.

(interview) He was going crazy! Like, literally scared of the food or something!

SCALLOPS!

You guys, keep calm, okay? (interview) I'm cringing right now thinking, "These have to be perfect." They have to be perfect!

Fuck me!

Nope. Coming back.

They're fucking rubber! (to the blue team) HEY! HEY, STOP! ALL OF YOU!! All of you, fuck off! Come here!!

Yes, chef!

(interview) This is–this is not good. He's gonna kick us all out!

What is going on?

It's my fault.

What the fuck is going on?

(interview) He can't cook a scallop! One side, gorgeous! The other side, nothing!

They're fuck–just touch that!

I see it. It's my fault. I'm sorry.

(interview) Fuckin' ridiculous!

Have a fucking meeting here, one minute on your own, and GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!

Heard, chef.

(interview) Chef Ramsay, just seeing him angry, it's horrific! It's the scariest thing I've ever seen! [laughs] It's terrible! (to Cameron) Hey, brand new! Brand new! Brand new, right now! LET'S GO! [tries opening the door] There's no handle.

There's no handle on that door, so they can't get out. [Sous chef James laughs along with Gordon]

Right, Bret...

Yes, chef?

...and Milly, take over the fish!

Yes, chef!

Four minutes, two pork; four and a half minutes, two wellington!

Got it, let's go! We gotta finish this!! (interview) Chef Ramsay's pissed. We have to turn it back around! I'm not losing. I do not want to lose.

(to Nick) What's going, Nick?! Nick, what's going?!

Uh... two salmon, two halibut! Two pork, two wellington!

[shakes his head] Two pork, two salmon followed by two salmon, two wellington!

Heard, chef!

There's no halibut going! [to Josh] What's going, Josh?

Two salmon and...two lamb?

Enough's enough! I have never seen a team so fragmented in all my fucking life! You, you, you, you, you, and you fuck off!

Yes, chef.

James, you and I will finish them. (o blue team) GET OUT!

Yes, chef.

Fuck!

GET OUT!

Un-fucking-believable.

Come on, man! (interview) I feel disrespected, I don't understand it! I ain't never been kicked out of a kitchen in my life!

About time, chef.

[removes lid to reveal...] Guys, it's peanut butter and jelly.

I don't care, I'm hungry. I need something to eat!

I mean... peanut butter and jellyfish.

(interview) What the fuck?! I never even knew you could eat jellyfish!

Get 'em down, and get back in here. Come on!

Fuck, man! (interview) Are you kidding me? Are you crazy?! [as he walks out of the kitchen] Man, FUCK! (interview) I'm not eating that shit, man. I'm good, man.

Peanut butter and jellyfish?

I'm the only one who scored a point, so I shouldn't have to eat it.

Well, we worked as a team. We're all eating it. (interview; claps sarcastically) Congrats. I'm glad you got the point for our team, but you better step up and eat a sandwich.

Egh! (interview) Peanut butter and jelly... fish? It's not good!

I don't feel good.

How's lunch?

Good. It was good. [burps] Oh, God! (interview) It's not good.

Yeah. I bet.

One wellington, one lamb!

Yes, chef!

The lamb's under.

Close it up and get back in for a minute.

Alright. Mike, we'll give it a second, okay?

Right now?

No, like, I need a minute. Okay?

Extra minute heard.

Yes, thank you!

Walking with garnish!

Michael. I said a minute! (interview) I'd rather have Chef Ramsay yell at me for taking too long than have him yell at me for sending him undercooked lamb. (to Brendan) Brendan, bring it up.

Hey, the lamb's full of blood. All of you, come here. Who donkeyed that?

I sliced the lamb first, chef.

And what did you tell yourself?

It was a little under, chef.

No, it's a lot more than a little! [cuts into the lamb] Raw white fat. [slams fist onto the plate]

(interview; sighs) Fuck!

Fuck off, all of you! GET OUT! Shit beginning, shit middle, and a shit end!

(interview) I'm a little furious right now. I hate fucking losing and getting kicked out of the kitchen.

Get out, get out, get out! GET OUT!!

Two risotto walking in one minute!

I need a minute and a half!

Okay, Roger! Copy! One minute and a half on the scallops!

Scallops are not fucking cooking!!

(interview) I'm trying to put risotto out, but scallops was just not going anywhere. (to Nick) How long out on the scallops?

I already told you! ONE MINUTE!

Okay. Ready, walk risotto.

If I hear him say "risotto" one more time, I'm gonna cut my own dick off.

Come on, Nick! I need to plate the scallops!

Walking! Two scallops, chef.

[checks scallops] Scallops are overcooked. Fucking hell. They're rubber. [to blue team] Hey! Hey, hey! All of you, come here. Just touch them, how overcooked they are! We're waiting for them, yet they're overcooked! I don't get that!

Yes, chef.

Come on, guys.

Fucking hell!

We're gonna go with two more halibut in that pan.

No, they're right here. You only need four there, right? You have two there already done. (interview) Brendan and I are just cooking fish. It's a fucking free-for-all of fish! Fish everywhere! And they're all cooked improperly!

(to Brendan) Hey, can you have two halibut? How long? [pause] Can you just give me something, Brendan? Just something.

Guys, I need fucking help here!

It's falling apart!

(to Nick) No, you gotta help him! He's your partner!

I'm trying to!

So talk to him!

I–I am!

We have to talk to him! It's a team effort!

I'm walking with two halibut!

Fucking lamb, behind!

[checks center of the halibut] Fucking hell. Hey, hey, hey.

Oh my God. Fuck my life.

All of you, come here. I'm gonna go fucking crazy. [separates fish with spatula] Raw. Raw, raw.

(interview) Brendan could not get it in the middle. Either it was overcooked or it was raw. Stop somewhere in the fucking middle and you'll be right!

What is this? [points at Nick and Brendan] You and you, fuck off! GET OUT! Milly, Bret get on fish!