Scott Leibfried quotes from Hell's Kitchen

What are you doing? Get that fucking tape off of there. Now get the fuck back in there! You think I'm fucking stupid?! I'm not stupid like you. Come here. You fucking guys fuck it up and you get a punishment, you don't fucking break it so it works for you. You blew it, pay the consequences! Got it?

Yes, chef.

Why don't you try being as serious as these people are on your team instead of being a jerk? [takes the chickens back into the storeroom]

Chef, I'm going to break those down right now.

No you're not, because Andrew just ruined it for you because he was taping the door. When you need them you gotta come in here and get one.

One duck and one chicken!

I have a duck and a chicken ready for it's sides.

(to Giacomo) And taste that. Taste that there. Just taste that. Why has he fried the cabbage?

I don't know chef.

It's like glue! Is that what you want to do is to start sneaking things in there?

No chef.

So, you agree it tastes like shit.

You still served it?

Sorry, chef.

Hey, hey, and you want a restaurant in Vegas?

A lot of work to do chef.

Hey, why don't you become a hairdresser? Poncing around with women's hair?

We don't have any fucking chicken, we don't have any more Wellingtons, we don't have any fucking lettuce! We haven't served any food! How could we be out of anything?

(to the red team) Your tables are now getting up... pissed off, and leaving! Nothing's getting done.

Eddie, fill those out. They're going to taste like fucking lighter fluid.

People fucking me up right now.

Maryann, are they arguing again?

Yes, chef, they are.

(to the red team) STOP! [calls out the red team] Come here. Shut it down, forget it. Service, (to Jean-Philippe) we're shutting it down.

What did he do to them?

He was flashing them in the oven after they were cooked.

(comes back to the workstation) Okay guys. Just stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP!!!! Blue donkeys, come here! Touch that, touch that. IT'S RARE!! You (Vinnie), look at me. You don't care anymore, you know that?

Monkfish chef.

Eh, right. Uhm, Fish King, (Josh) come here you. There's the monkfish.

Overcooked?

It's overcooked.

Oh, god almighty. You don't know that's overcooked?

Sorry chef.

Hey, Brad, she doesn't know that's overcooked. Rock, she doesn't know that's chewed to fuck and overcooked. Scott, she doesn't know that's overcooked?

Oh, my God. Completely.

(interview) Melissa was nervous, I could see it in her eyes and she fell apart. The monkfish was overdone. Pressure busts pipes, baby!

It looks like regurgitated dog shit. Where's other monkfish gone?

I have one left chef.

Oh, no! So the six top on order are all shit?

Yes.

No, no, no! Right Rock, listen to me, no choice now. Stop the veg, get on the fish. You! (Melissa) Oi, oi! Get on the garnish. Get the fuck off of there! Get off!

(to Josh right before dinner service) You two need to get it together right fucking now! Don't make any of your stupid fucking things for Rock or I will take you outside and beat the shit out of you! You fuck him over and I'm coming after you! You got it? You got it?

Yes, chef.

You understand me? Look at my eyes, I am coming for you if you fuck him over! You got it?

I will not fuck him over.

(to Vinnie) You too!

How long on the garnish? Chef Scott?

Am I in charge of the garnish now because you two fucking dickheads can't handle it? Green beans are coming right up. How long on the garnish? Because you two douchebags can't handle it. "How long on the fucking garnish?" I love that. What's the next pickup?

Surf and turf snapper?

I'm not fucking talking to either one of you schmucks! Shut your fucking mouths, alright?

Scallops, risotto, how long?

Right now, right now. [brings his risotto to the pass]

Where's the scallops? [Dominic is still holding raw scallops in his hand] What's he done?

They're like little burnt bits of something here.

Oh, my God. The rice is overcooked.

Ow, that's hot!

Hey you, come here! I've had enough! You can't even get two fucking dishes together, that's how shit you've been! I don't want any more embarrassments. I just wanna go with some food!!

It's over an hour into the first dinner service, and Jason is about to get an invitation.

Sit down and eat that! I want you to taste what you are trying to serve Hell's Kitchen. Sit down. Let me know when you're done. I'll get dessert!

(interview) I am horribly embarrassed at myself. I should've fucking stayed home.

Stuff your face, y'bastard.

(with some bland sauce) Yeah, that's bland. It looks terrible.

(to the blue team) Come here! Taste that, all of you! [the men come over and start tasting the sauce] Run Dominic! You lazy fucker! And you put your fingers in there. Aw, my God! [takes a spoonful out, lets it drip] Look. Snot! [tosses the sauce away] Fuck off. [kicks the bins] USELESS FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT! You all know it's crap, not one of you got the balls to do anything about it!!

I didn't taste it yet.

Guys, it's just simple, just go man and come on. (to Ben) Just what are you doing? (interview) I didn't see anybody taste the food today, just getting into the groove out as "if like you're making love to the kitchen".

(to Ben) Caesar with a little bit of salt and pepper, that's all.

(to Bobby and points him) Hey you, take the badge off and give the (Louross) little fucker over there! Thank God, someone has a pair of balls.

Okay, thank you.

[walks with the salmon] Salmon, medium.

[Checks Ben's salmon, which is overcooked] What's wrong with that salmon?

It's a little...

WHY WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO ME IF IT'S BURNT?!

(interview) I sent up, you know, perfect medium salmon, and he sent it back. It had a little, uh, tiny burnt edge on the side. I mean, this is craziness.

You can't cook a fucking salmon?

I can cook a salmon, chef, yes I can. Just a lot of pressure, different kitchen, different... different cooking techniques that I'm used to.

Cook me a salmon, medium. Can you do that?

Yes, sir.

"Different techniques?"

With the likelihood fading that any of his table's other entrees will arrive, Bobby takes matters into his own hands.

Salmon, chef.

I've got a fucking headache. [checks the salmon, which is under-cooked] Ben! [pounds the counter] Salmon's raw in the middle!

Oh, maybe a little under.

It's pink! Come here you, hey, stop! [calls the blue team) Come here! [starts distributing pieces of salmon to the members] That's what brought to me, taste. Taste, yeah, yeah? [pounds the workstation and kicks the bin] FUCK! SHIT! What in the fuck is GOING ON?

All of you come here! Get in there! [The Blue Team enter the Red Kitchen] Let's put one shit mess with another shit mess! Get in there! There you go, join forces. We've gone backwards! And you're (Vanessa) just all over the place! And you're (Jason) just hopeless! And you (Ben) don't care! Pathetic! And then you look at me, gormless like, the salmon's raw when it was requested medium. And what do you say?

Different techniques.

[throws the ticket at Ben] Fuck off! Not good enough! I'm not going to continue this any longer. Winning team? Forget it! What's so FUCKING COMPLICATED? Christina, you made an effort— [flashback where she communicates with her teammates] to get all the appetizers out. Thank god! Unfortunately, we got screwed when it came to the first entrée. You've got to go upstairs and nominate one individual that's leaving here.

Yes, chef.

Petrozza, you stayed with it. Your mind was clear, your attitude was strong— [flashback where he communicates with her teammates] get upstairs and think about who you are going to nominate. One from the blue, one from the red. NOW GET OUT!

Yes, chef.

Bye-bye!

Love you, Bobby!

[calls out Bobby] Bob. Bob, come here. Yeah, I wouldn't go around looking for applauders right now. Right now is the wrong FUCKING TIME! GET OUT!!! [shouting loudly as Gordon orders him to leave the kitchen]

Yes.

Jackass waving at them! WHAT do we have to wave about?! I DON'T CARE!! GET OUT!!! [Gordon's last scream lets Vanessa and Matt run upstairs to the dorms]

(interviewing) Damn, man, another disappointment. It was horrible tonight, though. The words can't express, the look of disappointment on his face, he's probably feeling like right now that ain't nobody here competent to run his restaurant.

This is how I make my living and I can't fucking do it.

If I were on your station tonight, I would have done the same thing and you know that. You got the talent.

No, I don't.

Yes, you fucking do.

I've been in a fucking grill cook for 15 years and I can't cook a fucking steak. (interviewing) I feel worthless. This is all I know how to do and now I don't even think I know how to do this anymore.

Everybody expects me to put Corey up. I wish to God she would have fallen on her face.

Oh, yeah, Corey is evil.

She personally attacked me.

Hey guys. Louross, come here!

Chef!

Come on, quickly, let's go! Touch that!

Still kind of lukewarm, chef.

What did I request, temperature?

Medium well, chef.

Get it back in the pan!

(interview) I got this, I have to do it. I can cook a steak, you know what I'm saying, but like, what the hell happened?

The pan's burning, Louross, it's about to go up in flames. Charcoal beef. [Louross's meat pan emits a flame]. Do you honestly not know how to cook a steak medium well?

I know how to cook a steak, chef!

So why aren't you doing it then, Louross?

(to himself) Come on babe, come on, fuck!

Come on, Louross!

Plating up now chef, we're plating up!

(checks the steaks) Louross, What's up man? How come I can't see the nice beautiful inside of the beef?

I cut it in half then I just seared it to cook it off -

No, see, the correct answer is you fucked it up, you didn't cook it right, and you're trying to get it by me. Do you have another one that I can see a nice pink center in?

Yes, chef! [to Petrozza] Do you have another one with a nice pink center in it?

Nah I.. No. That one won't work?

No, that one's not going to work.

With no steaks ready to serve, Louross's situation is looking grim.

Fuckin' send me home, that's what they're going to do.

But Petrozza has a plan.

[notices Gordon isn't in their kitchen] This is our chance.

It's not going to work, it's not going to work.

This is the only shot that we got. (interview) We had to show the base of the beef, so I had to slice a sliver off it. I want to get the fucking food out!

It's not... It's fucked up already if it shows up...

(interview) He sliced that paper thin and I looked at him and I'm like are you serious? And he's like yeah! But damn, do you see the color on that steak? It was straight medium-well!

How's that one? Looks like it fucking works to me.

Hey Louross, where's that beef?

Here's the beef. [brings up his altered beef]

Much better.

It's not even cooked.

Is it raw?

Yeah.

(to Jen) Watch, watch. There you go. (drains some liquid from the dessert and drops the dessert on the plate, breaking it) HEY--FUCK--OFF! Dumb Jen, turn your stove off!

Right now, I want to just win a challenge. I want to win. I went all through my life other people thinking I'm fucking too fat, too slow, too this, too that. I ain't about to be a loser, I hate it.

Good, Robert. That's how you should feel. It kinda sucks that, you know, the intensity is coming out during being punished and not necessarily during the...

You know, chef, I...

Ah, Robert, what do you want me to tell you? You could've won, you didn't. You know, but the competitive part should come out during that time and not afterwards.

(throws his broom down) I fucking almost died last time for this fucking shit! Don't tell me I ain't fucking-- I don't-- I don't give my shit 110% dancing around that fucking line like Fred Astaire all fucking day up in this place! LAST SEASON, I ALMOST FUCKING DIED FOR THIS FUCKING SHIT!! AND I'M HERE AGAIN AND I DON'T FUCKING LIKE LOSING!!! (snaps his broom in half)

Where's the chicken?!

Come on! Come on!

(rushing with the chicken) Right behind you.

Go now! (to Andy) Hey, fucking nitwit. That is fucking raw.

Oh man! (interview) Here we go again!

(gets in Andy's face) You get that ready by the time the rest of the fucking table is ready to go, you got it?!

Yes, chef.

GO!