Narrator quotes from Hell's Kitchen

The time has come for the competitors' first encounter with Chef Ramsay and his legendary high standards. They have no idea what they're in for.

Now the red kitchen's first entrées are about to go out. All that's left is a piece of salmon from the most experienced chef on the red team.

Chris.

Yes, chef?

Come here. You're an executive chef right?

Yes, chef.

What do you think of that?

It's a little fucked up, chef.

[pushing the fish into Chris' chest] There you go. Sorry. I told you fucking earlier, hello? And you knew it's fucked up.

You're right chef.

Yeah, and an executive chef doesn't serve shit like that, do they?

I apologize, chef.

No, no, you apologise. Don't you do it again! Okay?

I'll start it again chef. [interview] I haven't gotten where I am today without having skills. I think Gordon recognizing talent is going to come with time.

Send the whole fucking table back. The executive chef has just sent me an overcooked piece of shit. (interview) Chris has a huge chip on his shoulder. He's an executive chef which basically means you sit on your arse all day long. And clearly he's been doing that for the last ten years.

You're waiting on a wellington and one bass yes? Well I'm deeply, deeply, deeply sorry but right now we're about seven tables behind.

That doesn't do much for me.

Yeah, right, can I just say, you do fuck all for me either.

Sorry?

You do nothing for me either.

I just don't understand why it's so difficult to serve some people their food.

Are you that arrogant, you haven't got a clue of what's going on behind me?

It seems like you have a lot of amateur sous-chefs.

Right. Finally your head's coming outside your arsehole. Now sit down, you fucking dick. What an arsehole.

Nothing upsets Chef Ramsay more than when customers come to the kitchen.

After pizza was delivered and his maître d' was assaulted, Chef Ramsay has seen enough.

Red team, shut the place down and clean down, yeah?

Yes, chef.

[crosses over to the blue kitchen] Last table, shut it down. Everything off, yes? Stoves off, turn it off.

Jeff, one spaghetti lobster with no lobster in it. The other is loaded with lobster. Wear that one out!

Chef Ramsay's addition of Michael to the red team is already paying off.

[to Jeff] Say "Thank you, Mike." Say "Thank you, Mike."

Thank you, Mike. [under his breath] They're expecting too much for someone who's never been on a fucking line before.

Jeff, do you want him to cook your meat for you, too?

What do you want me to do?! I've never been on a fucking line before! I'm doing it, I'm trying!

Jeff! Jeff!

Are you fucking talking to me right now, Jeff?! Are you?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is going on?

I'm trying the best I can-

Come here! Come here, you!

I'm doing the best I can! I've never been on a line before.

Stop shouting. Alright, what are we waiting on?

I'm working on that spaghetti right now.

Alright, move your arse and get it done. Dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Jeff, we're here to help you, but you don't talk to chef like that, okay?

Jeff, did you hear that (last order)?

No, I'm done man. I'm finished.

No you're not! Come back, Jeff!

Here we go with that. Are you going to run?

No, I'm going to stay and finish up service.

Oh really. Why?

Because I'm not a quitter.

You're not a quitter. Hey, you're not a fucking cook either. [returns to the pass]

[under his breath] You're an asshole.

What was that? What did you just say? I want you to say it louder! I want you to say it louder, Jeff!

Come here. What did you say?

If you don't like me, I don't know what to tell you. You're an asshole.

That's not cool, Jeff.

Unbelievable.

That is not fucking cool.

[takes his jacket off and leaves the kitchen] Send my ass home. I've had enough of this shit.

Go, please.

A little more than two hours into dinner service, Jeff has walked out, and the Red team is trying to keep it together.

Chef Ramsey is giving the red team some polite words of encouragement.

(To the Red Team) PLEASE, please, PLEASE, please, PLEASE, please, PLEASE MOVE. YOUR ARSES.

Although dinner service is finished, Chef Ramsay is not finished with one of the chefs.

(to Keith) You've got that spoiled brat syndrome. That huffy puffy, turn your eyes, fold your arms and you don't even look at me in the eyes.

I didn't mean that, chef.

Deep down inside, you've got a big amount of talent there, you know that. But my biggest problem is no one's noticed it properly. Has anyone ever told you how good you could be?

No, chef.

You can cook, big man, you know that. The first hour and a half of service, you were running it. Then you made one stupid mistake. The quicker you get rid of the attitude, you're going to shine.

Yes, chef.

So this place is renowned for its steaks.

Now the red team has moved onto entrées at another Hollywood hot spot.

Nice and private, very nice.

And Virginia has an important question for the owner...

What's the one key thing that you can honestly say? I'm saying like right when you think of it. What can you tell me here right now? I'm saying like...

...if only she could ask it.

...What have you learned now that you didn't know then when you opened up a place?

You need consistency. That's it. Consistency.

I just find it very, I love the fact that you grew so quickly. I mean that's so...

(interview) We were like "Shut up! Shut up!" At what point is Virginia not fake?

...so on and so forth. But, you know anyway...

(interview) "Blah. blah. blah. Yadda. Yadda." Virginia, she annoys me.

The red team has moved on to entrées and Sara has brought her lamb...

What's that?

...to the slaughter.

What the fuck is that? Missy (Sara), Just what are you doing with the lamb?

I'm learning, chef.

You're learning?

Yes, chef.

What do you mean you're learning?

Sara! What is going on? Are you... fucking blind?

No, chef.

What is that? In your-- What are-- I don't know what the fuck you're doing!

Me neither, chef.

That is not going anywhere, missy!

Okay.

Except in the fucking bin!!

Hoping to satisfy Chef Ramsay, Garrett rushes his chicken to the pass.

Garrett, the chicken is raw!

Yes, chef.

You're going to kill someone!

Garrett has just brought a dish to the pass that is not only inedible but downright dangerous.

You knew it's raw!

I'm doing it because it's faster chef. It's the only reason.

Faster?! You've always got a fucking answer for everything!

I'm just trying to--

SHUT IT! YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN WHITE!!

Very few of the chefs have impressed Chef Ramsay with their dishes. Now, it's down to the final chef.

Oh, fuck me. Whose is this?

(dressed up as a cowboy) It's me, chef.

And where's your horse?

I left him parked outside, chef.

I've never met an Asian cowboy.

(interview, laughs) I knew I shouldn't have worn this outfit!

You are one chunky monkey, aren't you?

(laughs) Yes, chef.

What is it?

It's finger food chef, so.

How big are your fucking fingers?

I have big hands.

[tastes part of the dish] This...is nice, just throw all that away. Your biggest problem is you don't know when to stop.

(interview) My plate was full, but, heck, I would've eaten all the food on the plate.

With the red team in shambles, Chef Ramsay turns to the blue team for some reassurance.

Aaron, how are you feeling?

Sorry. [starts to cry] I can't believe I'm crack-- I'm cracking up right now.

Keep it together! For God's sakes, man!

I don't know what's going on! [continues to cry]

Now you're making me feel nervous! I am not going into service with this level of incompetence. You know that.

(outside, to the waiting diners) Not too good... not too good...

Stop fucking crying. Stop, STOP! Do you want to go and lie down in the dorm?

No, sir, I'm fine. I'm fine, chef. I apologize. I'm fine.

You can do it.

Yes, chef.

Good man.

While it's total chaos in the red kitchen, in the blue kitchen, the retirement home chef seems to be feeling all of his 48 years.

[washing his face with water] Oh, fuck.

(interview) I'd like to see Aaron get better.

Oh, fuck.

(interview) Get better at cooking.

I'm kind of dizzy right now. I'll be back in five, gentlemen.

(interview) He just gave up. I would never walk off the line short of being punched in the face. Finish your night.

You've gone white.

[whimpering] Chef, I don't want to quit because of me. I don't want to quit because...

Hey.

But, I don't want to quit because of the guys, they're trying so hard. Everybody's trying really hard.

Hey, shhhhhhhh. Relax, relax, relax.

With Aaron taking early retirement from the meat station, Josh jumps in and tries to save the day.

Two minutes -- Eddie, are you okay with two minutes on that?

Yes.

Okay, two minutes!

Come on guys, no bickering, let's do it!

(interview) I was born for this.

Come on guys! (interview) Unfortunately, I myself walked into the deepest pile of the shit.

Josh,

Yes, chef?

How many portions of chicken are overcooked?

One, two, three, four, and that's all the chicken that we have, chef.

So we've got no chicken anywhere?

We have no chicken, chef.

45 minutes into dinner service and Eddie's spaghetti has brought the blue kitchen to a standstill so Chef Ramsay turns to the women for a little hope.

Spaghetti, scallops how long?

3 minutes, chef.

[sees what Bonnie is doing] What are you doing? What are you doing?

I'm doing 3 scallops, chef.

See? I called one spaghetti, one scallops, then she's doing three scallops.

I thought I heard... I'm sorry. Okay, one scallop.

Are you a dumb blonde?