Hell's Kitchen Season 14 quotes

[to Monique when he is tasting her signature dish] Tell me about the marinara sauce. I want to know how you made it.

It's just from a jar.

So you didn't even make the marinara sauce?

No! (interview) I don't think there's anything wrong with canned sauce. Unless you're from fucking Italy, and you're like born as an Italian, you're not gonna be making your sauce from scratch all the time. [to Gordon] No, if you wanted it, you should've just told me! I would've did it!

Oh, I've got to tell you what I want?

Yes!

(interview) Who the fuck uses jarred tomato sauce for Chef Ramsay? Who does that?!

Mo's pasta, one out of five.

Okay, got it.

[as Chrissa describes her signature dish] What in the fuck is that?

That is ginger-crusted chicken. I was in the cookie aisle, and I was trying to get ideas, and the ginger cookies...

Ginger cookie-crusted chicken breast?

Yep, that's what's in there.

[laughs along with the audience] I'm glad you were inspired in the cookie aisle and not the fucking pet food aisle! [takes a bite of the chicken] Aw...

Oh, really? [as she sees Gordon spitting out the chicken] Oh, no. Oh my God, really?

That is hideous.

Sorry!

One out of five.

(interview) I'm not really used to people spitting out my food, so it was very embarrassing.

The fuck is that? [brings the scallops back to the kitchen] Hey, all of you, come here. Hurry up!

(interview) This isn't going to be good.

Just touch them. Just touch the top of them. Look at them. Look, look. Look. So, we've got fucking colour on one side, and boiled the next.

Yes, chef.

(interview) Stupid mistakes, Michael. We're on our first ticket. We've got Chef Ramsay up our ass. This is not a good sign!

The sad thing is he [smashes the scallops with his hand] FUCKS two portions as well! Young man, you need to know, you are not at the fucking senior home!

Yes, chef.

One more like that, and you can fuck off back there!

Yes, chef.

Tonight!

Yes, chef.

(interview) I don't understand it. We've been in this business our whole lives. They're fucking scallops. It ain't rocket science.

[after cutting into lamb prepared by Monique] It's really rare. Monique, it's really rare. Screw it, back in the oven.

That shit's not even hot! Put that in the fucking convec(tion) oven! Are you kidding me?! (interview) I open the oven, and I'm expecting, like, a facial, and it's nothing.

Our oven is not hot for some reason.

It's not on!

It is on.

The oven's off! (interview) Monique, are you fucking kidding me? Your goddamn oven is off, and you're cooking lamb. Are you like...are you high?

(to the red team) Lamb!

Chef, we're bringing it up. Pork?

Got it. You following me?

Yes. Right behind.

Right behind!

Ladies! ALL OF YOU! COME HERE!!

(interview) Fuck! Really?! Like, again?! Oh my God! This is not happening!

Raw lamb and dry pork! Like pork jerky! Look at it! RIDICULOUS!! [throws spoon up before walking out of the red kitchen] Aw, FUCK OFF.

(to the red team) Lamb!

(to Monique; as she brings the lamb to Gordon) Behind you, Mo.

I've got the lamb! Where's the pork?!

I need these two right here.

One, two, three, four, five, six chefs on meat!

Pork is fucking raw.

Is it raw? Stop! Stop! Bring me the lamb, please!

(interview) We started off strong, and then the meat station! It's like a ship out at sea, the pirates came and fucking capsized that bitch!

So you bring me the lamb and the pork's raw?! Now, I'm taking it personally! I need you to do one more thing together as a team. GET OUT! GET OUT! It's such a fucking joke! PISS OFF!

(to Michael) What are you reading through there? What are you—

I'm just going through it in my mind, chef.

This, [rips up menu] you don't need.

Yes, chef.

You do not need that. Look at yourself in the mirror, and scream risotto ingredients.

Risotto ing-!

Number one, what is it?

Oil, chef.

Rice, you fucking pillock.

(interview) Michael's kind of just a hot mess.

If he doesn't know what's in a fucking risotto, we're screwed!

(interview) Hey, Mike, I like you. It's nothing personal, but everyone knows you're the weakest chef here.

Beet salad.

Oh my God! MICHAEL!

Yes, chef!

What's the beet salad for? It's not even on order.

(interview) What?! [chuckles] Michael, what? What are you doing?

(to Michael) It's like you're cooking for imaginary friends! It's not on order!

(interview; sighs)

Is it just to look busy?!

No, chef. I–I heard, chef. I made a mistake.

You heard it? You got little voices in your head?

Yes, chef.

Let me put one more in there. [whispers in Michael's ear] WAKE UP!

Yes, chef.

Now fuck off!

How are you on risotto, Milly?

I'm two minutes out on this risotto!

Holy shit! I don't know what's going on.

(interview) Cameron is confused already.

Scallops! Where are they?! [turns over the scallops Cameron brought to the pass] Oh my God. [to the blue team] Hey, all of you! All of you! Come here! Come here, come here! First table of the night, I've got raw fucking scallops!

They're not seared on both sides.

Who cooked them?!

[raises his hand] I did.

Do they deserve that?!

No, chef. Definitely not.

Our first table!

(interview) Cameron wasn't even flipping the fucking scallops over! I couldn't believe it at all!

(to Sous Chef James) First table, James! Let's start it again!

Great. (interview) I just looked like a fucking idiot there, man. I dropped the ball.

(to Cameron) Watch. You're frying them in fucking too much hot oil, yes.

Yes, chef.

Thirty seconds each side!

(interview) Chef Ramsay, when he's in the kitchen, he's very, very intimidating.

Shake the pan, gently! And then out! Clean pan, let's go!

Yes, chef!

Fucking hell!

(interview) It kinda throws you off.

Hey! Was that so hard?!

Yes. Thank you for the—Yes, chef!

First ticket!

First ticket, give me...fif—twenty seconds, please. Twenty seconds!

(interview) I don't know what the fuck is going on with Cameron.

(to Brendan) Help me!

I got it.

(interview) He was going crazy! Like, literally scared of the food or something!

SCALLOPS!

You guys, keep calm, okay? (interview) I'm cringing right now thinking, "These have to be perfect." They have to be perfect!

Fuck me!

Nope. Coming back.

They're fucking rubber! (to the blue team) HEY! HEY, STOP! ALL OF YOU!! All of you, fuck off! Come here!!

Yes, chef!

(interview) This is–this is not good. He's gonna kick us all out!

What is going on?

It's my fault.

What the fuck is going on?

(interview) He can't cook a scallop! One side, gorgeous! The other side, nothing!

They're fuck–just touch that!

I see it. It's my fault. I'm sorry.

(interview) Fuckin' ridiculous!

Have a fucking meeting here, one minute on your own, and GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!

Heard, chef.

(interview) Chef Ramsay, just seeing him angry, it's horrific! It's the scariest thing I've ever seen! [laughs] It's terrible! (to Cameron) Hey, brand new! Brand new! Brand new, right now! LET'S GO! [tries opening the door] There's no handle.

There's no handle on that door, so they can't get out. [Sous chef James laughs along with Gordon]

Have you two got this?

Yes, chef. (interview) I need to fight back, you know? I want to show Chef Ramsay that I'm sorry that I gave him shit!

Two scallops, Michael?!

Yes, chef!

Where are they?

Hey, hey, hey! Stop! STOP!! (to Michael) What did I ask you to do?

Scallops, chef.

The scallops aren't even in the pan, right? And look. I got the dressed salad!

(interview) Michael, we are going down in flames right now because of you!

I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO! I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO FUCKING GO!!

Let's go, boys! We have to come back! Come on!

(to Milly) Fuck it, I got it.

You sure?

I got it! (to Gordon) Scallops at the window.

[flips over scallops and sees them raw underneath] Ah, fucking hell. (to blue team) Hey, hey. STOP! [points at Brendan, Cameron, and Michael] You, you, you, come here.

Yes, chef.

The rest of you, continue cooking.

Yes, chef.

(to Michael; while handing him the scallop tray) Take that.

Yes, chef.

...and fuck off out of here.

Yes, chef.

GET OUT!

Right, Bret...

Yes, chef?

...and Milly, take over the fish!

Yes, chef!

Four minutes, two pork; four and a half minutes, two wellington!

Got it, let's go! We gotta finish this!! (interview) Chef Ramsay's pissed. We have to turn it back around! I'm not losing. I do not want to lose.

(to Nick) What's going, Nick?! Nick, what's going?!

Uh... two salmon, two halibut! Two pork, two wellington!

[shakes his head] Two pork, two salmon followed by two salmon, two wellington!

Heard, chef!

There's no halibut going! [to Josh] What's going, Josh?

Two salmon and...two lamb?

Enough's enough! I have never seen a team so fragmented in all my fucking life! You, you, you, you, you, and you fuck off!

Yes, chef.

James, you and I will finish them. (o blue team) GET OUT!

Yes, chef.

Fuck!

GET OUT!

Un-fucking-believable.

Come on, man! (interview) I feel disrespected, I don't understand it! I ain't never been kicked out of a kitchen in my life!

About time, chef.

[removes lid to reveal...] Guys, it's peanut butter and jelly.

I don't care, I'm hungry. I need something to eat!

I mean... peanut butter and jellyfish.

(interview) What the fuck?! I never even knew you could eat jellyfish!

Get 'em down, and get back in here. Come on!

Fuck, man! (interview) Are you kidding me? Are you crazy?! [as he walks out of the kitchen] Man, FUCK! (interview) I'm not eating that shit, man. I'm good, man.

Peanut butter and jellyfish?

I'm the only one who scored a point, so I shouldn't have to eat it.

Well, we worked as a team. We're all eating it. (interview; claps sarcastically) Congrats. I'm glad you got the point for our team, but you better step up and eat a sandwich.

Egh! (interview) Peanut butter and jelly... fish? It's not good!

I don't feel good.

How's lunch?

Good. It was good. [burps] Oh, God! (interview) It's not good.

Yeah. I bet.

(to Gordon) Chef, Table 22. They found this on the salad of the scallops. It's a plastic.

Hey. Hey, Blue team!

(interview) Something happened. I hope I didn't do it.

[holds up plastic strip] That was in the scallop salad.

What the fuck?! Come on, fellas!

Who dressed it?

I did, chef. (interview) But as it turns out, I did. (to Gordon) I apologize.

You're gonna slice somebody's throat open!

Understandable. (interview) Fuck! Another fuckin' dumb, little mistake.

It's just so fucking basic! So basic!

Michael, what the fuck are you doing?

Fucking Jesus. Michael! [puts pan back on the stove] What are you doing?

Chef, I put it away, chef.

What?

It was over here burning, chef.

But why stick it down there?! Whose tray is that?

It's, uh, salmon, chef.

Fish (station).

They're talking, they go down and grab the pan, they're gonna scald themselves!

Yes, chef. You're right, chef.

Then why would you put–[backs away while Michael reaches to grab the pan]

Sorry, chef.

What are you doing?!

It was over here burning.

Shut up! CAN YOU WAIT UNTIL I FUCKING FINISH?!

(interview) I put the pan out of the way just so that nobody would get hurt.

If the pan's about to burst into flames, what do you do?!

I'm sorry, chef!

(to Bret) Come on young man!

(interview) Myself and Josh on the fish station could've had to leave Hell's Kitchen because of a third-degree burn. Like "taking skin from your ass to put it on your hand" type shit.

[puts pan in the sink] Fucking hell!

LADIES!

Yes, chef! Monique, just throw it up.

I wanted to make sure it was ready. [to Gordon] Walking with scallops! (interview) I know I'm solid on my scallops. This ain't my first time in the kitchen!

[while checking the scallops] These are fucking disgusting. They're just cooked to fuck. [to red team] Ladies!

Yes, chef!

Come here! All of you. WHAT IS HAPPENING?! TOUCH THEM! Just touch how rubber they are! Yeah, it's not gonna bite! It's fucking dead!

Yes, chef.

Alison, who cooked those scallops?

[brief pause] Monique, chef.

(interview) Like, what a bitch move! I can't stand Alison. You accent's stupid, your makeup's stupid, you're stupid.

(to Monique) You've got no idea they're rubber! Way overcooked!

Yes, chef.

Start again!