Bobby quotes from Hell's Kitchen

(interview) I've never been on a yacht before. The only boat I've gotten close to was The Love Boat on TV.

Welcome to Hell's Kitchen. You must be all very excited to meet Chef Gordon Ramsay. Actually, I'm quite good at doing an impression of him.

" What about you(To Shayna)? Can you do a little impression of Gordon?

How about you(To Jason)?

I think you're going to have to work on it. What about you (To chef Ramsay) big guy?

(interview) Damn, he's doing it real good.

(interview) Wait a minute.

(interview) I know that voice.

That's right. It's me. (removes his disguise. The chefs start screaming and hollering.)

(interview) Oh, my God! I've been sitting next to the chef on the bus the whole fucking time!

(interview) Whoo! Didn't know it was coming.

Halt! Let's see if you guys can actually cook as well as you shout off on the bus. And you, the black Gordon Ramsay right?

Yes sir. Four star general.

Time to button it now and start cooking. Get in there and cook me your signature dishes. Let's go!

Bobby, what are the five entrées on the menu?

Uh... we have... uh, I'm not sure.

Matt, what are the five entrées?

Uh... there's uh... [Now Jen and Shayna also have their hands raised, just like Christina] I don't know chef.

WHAT!? Petrozza! WHAT ARE THE ENTREÉS!?

Um... um...

Chef Ramsay has just discovered one minor problem...

(interview) Nobody has a damn clue of what's going on!

My God! Christina what are the five entrées?

We have a lamb en croute, salmon, john dory, beef fillet and poached and roasted chicken, sir.

Thank you. (in a sigh of relief)

(smirks) (interview) The guys suck and they're going to go down in flames. That makes me happy!

Guys, what is the matter? Already you look like a bunch of dicks and we haven't even fucking opened!

(interview) Knowing the menu is one thing, cooking the menu is another thing.

(to Dominic and his scallops) Touch that. Rubber. They're rubber! They're like a ball elastic bands. It's like a fucking golf ball. Golf ball!

(interview) I couldn't sauté a scallop to save my ass tonight.

Everything you cooked, you screwed. Have you ever cooked a scallop before?

(interview) Whooooo! What a disaster!

He hasn't got the tuna in! Why are you putting more scallops in there? And you're like this on the scallops. [mocks Dominic, holding out his right hand with a shocked face] Oh, fuck ME! SHIT! Bobby.

Yes?

I'm looking for someone to take control of this disgusting, embarrassing mess. He (Jason) doesn't give a fuck, he's (Dominic) dreaming, he's (Matt) standing there pissing his pants looking for his tartare, caviar and white chocolate crap! And he's (Louross) just running around like a toilet brush. IS ANYONE GOING TO TAKE CONTROL?!!

Jump in there, Bobby. Jump in there, baby.

I don't want to jump in! You guys, you guys got it over there! It's going to make so much confusion if I get in over there. You've got six sets of hands over there, you don't need eight sets. I don't want to join the chaos.

(interview) He's the captain. I mean, to just be like, "Yeah, uh, I don't want to get in this chaos," that's like saying "Fuck you, I quit!"

Salmon, chef.

I've got a fucking headache. [checks the salmon, which is under-cooked] Ben! [pounds the counter] Salmon's raw in the middle!

Oh, maybe a little under.

It's pink! Come here you, hey, stop! [calls the blue team) Come here! [starts distributing pieces of salmon to the members] That's what brought to me, taste. Taste, yeah, yeah? [pounds the workstation and kicks the bin] FUCK! SHIT! What in the fuck is GOING ON?

All of you come here! Get in there! [The Blue Team enter the Red Kitchen] Let's put one shit mess with another shit mess! Get in there! There you go, join forces. We've gone backwards! And you're (Vanessa) just all over the place! And you're (Jason) just hopeless! And you (Ben) don't care! Pathetic! And then you look at me, gormless like, the salmon's raw when it was requested medium. And what do you say?

Different techniques.

[throws the ticket at Ben] Fuck off! Not good enough! I'm not going to continue this any longer. Winning team? Forget it! What's so FUCKING COMPLICATED? Christina, you made an effort— [flashback where she communicates with her teammates] to get all the appetizers out. Thank god! Unfortunately, we got screwed when it came to the first entrée. You've got to go upstairs and nominate one individual that's leaving here.

Yes, chef.

Petrozza, you stayed with it. Your mind was clear, your attitude was strong— [flashback where he communicates with her teammates] get upstairs and think about who you are going to nominate. One from the blue, one from the red. NOW GET OUT!

Yes, chef.

Bye-bye!

Love you, Bobby!

[calls out Bobby] Bob. Bob, come here. Yeah, I wouldn't go around looking for applauders right now. Right now is the wrong FUCKING TIME! GET OUT!!! [shouting loudly as Gordon orders him to leave the kitchen]

Yes.

Jackass waving at them! WHAT do we have to wave about?! I DON'T CARE!! GET OUT!!! [Gordon's last scream lets Vanessa and Matt run upstairs to the dorms]

(interviewing) Damn, man, another disappointment. It was horrible tonight, though. The words can't express, the look of disappointment on his face, he's probably feeling like right now that ain't nobody here competent to run his restaurant.

This is how I make my living and I can't fucking do it.

If I were on your station tonight, I would have done the same thing and you know that. You got the talent.

No, I don't.

Yes, you fucking do.

I've been in a fucking grill cook for 15 years and I can't cook a fucking steak. (interviewing) I feel worthless. This is all I know how to do and now I don't even think I know how to do this anymore.

Everybody expects me to put Corey up. I wish to God she would have fallen on her face.

Oh, yeah, Corey is evil.

She personally attacked me.

Hey, Craig! Four macaroni, one burger, one spaghetti of clam, and you've given me meatballs. One's called a fucking meatball, and one's called a clam. Spaghetti is clam, meatball is meatball. Where's the spaghetti of clams?

Right here, chef.

Fuck! [kicks a bin] Raw!

Don't worry about it. Start over, fast.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

So, how long?

I got it.

[pulling the tongs back] These are mine.

He doesn't even answer you, look. He doesn't even give you an answer.

Craig, answer the chef already!

TWO MINUTES!

Why's Bobby on the fish? What's going on there?

He's helping me out, we're working as a team.

Well there's a big difference between helping him out and running the section!

(interview) If we left it up to Matt. We would've done very very poorly so I caught it before it got to that point.

Bobby, little fine for the team spirit helping them out, but did you listen to what I said? You're cooking it, he's (Matt) running around wiping your arse (to Matt) and the said thing about you, hey, you let him. If I was running this section and I was in Hell's Kitchen running the fish, give me this give me that, I'm staying here, I'm cooking!

Yes, chef.

[whispers in Matt's ear] You can only hide for so long.

I'm not hiding, chef. I'm not hiding at all. I wasn't trying to hide, chef.

You're doing a fucking good job of hiding. [Matt still tries to argue he wasn't] Look at me! I'VE MADE IT FUCKING CLEAR! Do you want to argue now or are you going to run your station?

Yes, chef.

Fire a wellington, chicken, John Dory... [notices that Christina is cooking beef and chicken in the same pan] Uh, excuse me. [to Christina] Why are we cooking chicken and beef in the same pan?

Sorry chef there just wasn't a lot of room up here on these burners

Supposedly someone doesn't like red meat!

(interview) I thought hot pan, plenty of room let's just cook it, it'll be cool.

Get it out!

Yes, chef. (interview) No, not cool!

Bobby, they've (Christina) got beef and chicken in a pan. Now you've got salmon and scallops in the pan.

Uh... I needed this time to fly (interview) Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo. I didn't really have an excuse.

Hey, aren't you allergic to shellfish?

Yeah. (interview) Chef was right! Woo!

Oh, my God!

Salmon, John Dory, chicken, wellington, fillet mignon, rib eye!

Guys, how long now?

I don't know, I'm trying to work on my migraine.

(interview) Matt is someone who is excuses for himself. Absolute fucked in a headache you know, come on pull through it. He's a crybaby and he is definitely getting more insane by in a minute. (to Matt) Matt, how long on the fillet?

(to Corey) I'll tell you in a second. (holds a well cooked fillet mignon) three minutes.

You guys are a fucking bunch of losers. (to Matt) What's going, Matt? What's going?

Two risottos, one fillet, one lamb and fish (salmon).

No!

No, that's right. No. He's got migraine. Look! Hey, look at there, Scott!

(laughs) Oh, fuck!

Not funny. I got a medical pills and I work through it.

He's got a migraine. Come here in a minute and let me just tell you something, you have a migraine? (quietly, to Matt) I've had one ever since you walked in here. Why have you just forty-two minutes ago to completely forgot and give you a favour?

I have no feeling in my hands--

No feeling in your hands? Yeah, come here. [takes hold of Matt's hand and walks him out of the kitchen, as if though Matt just peed his pants] Go upstairs the dorm and lie down, yes? Lie down.

But I want to work through it.

[turns around] GET OUT! FUCKING GET OUT! (rekindles Matt) "I got a migraine?" Fuck off... fucking useless pieceashit...

(interview) Matt doesn't take any responsibility for his actions, everybody in this place here has a migraine right now my brain feels like it's about to explode but I don't give up in that kitchen

FOUR MINUTES TO THE WINDOW TWO WELLINGTON, ONE FUCKING RIBEYE! HURRY UP CHRISTINA!

Yes, chef. [Sees a pan of rice] Oh, shit! [holds the rice and burns her hand] Who the fuck left this rice on here, guys?

What is that?

It's burnt rice, chef.

Who put that on there?

I don't know, chef.

Sorry. chef. I forgot about it.

Fucking useless. [scrapes the burnt rice and throws it on a chopping board]

(interview) Jen burnt the rice. It was sitting on my station, all she has to do and say, "Hey, I'm putting this rice here."

(quietly to Jen) Get out. Get out and get to the dorm. GET OUT! I'm not fucking around now. Get out!

(interview) I completely forgot that I put the rice on. I feel bad for that and that was my honest mistake.

(to Christina) Hey, she put it on, you've been standing next to it for an hour, you take off your apron and fuck off as well!

Yes, chef.

(interview) Oh, my God has this been a crazy night!

Hey, all of you: Fuck yourselves. Get out! GET OUT! [The remaining chefs leave the kitchen] Fuck off will you, yeah? [rubbing his face] Oh... Shit!