Vinnie Fama quotes from Hell's Kitchen

And whose dish is that?

It's mine, chef.

What is the dish?

It is chorizo-encrusted pink snapper.

Where in the fuck's the snapper?

It's underneath.

That's the snapper there?

Yes sir.

Okay. [tastes] God, fuck. Do you think you can really seriously eat all that without burning your mouth? What a disappointment.

I don't think so.

Now you want to fucking argue. Back in line.

Yes, chef. (interview) I think he looked at me and said, "This guy's really confident", and I think I intimidated him.

What a fucking jerk.

(to Vinnie) Hey, just come here, you. You're putting water in the risotto.

Chef, I put water in the risotto, we don't-we don't have any left(over) stock.

Oh, for fuck's sake...

(interview) Well, hmm, stock is made of water, and vegetables are made of water. No harm, no foul. That's all we have.

[tastes] It tastes like gnat's piss. [coughs] Stop it! Look at me now, okay? Get off the section! Brad! Hey, get on there. Get your arse on there. And stay on there!

You've got every right to look down, because that was embarrassing. Ladies, I've never seen girls bitch so much. It was just evil and twisted. Hell's Bitches. Vinnie, 60 minutes without any appetizers. What have you got to say?

I didn't know what you wanted. You didn't want to show me. So what did you want me to do?

You two-faced lazy little fucker.

Lazy?

(interview) All I could think to myself was, "Please shut up. Who are you talking to? Are you serious?" I just couldn't, I couldn't believe it.

What do you want me to do? Wipe your ass?

(interview) (when troops wake up the chefs) I'm in the shower with conditioner in my hair. I was like run through the house half naked and I look like a drowned rat and I'm not happy.

(interview) It's was very disheartening to not to be able to serve the people that serve us. (Uses his hand to disguise a trombone) REMEDY! REMEDY!

Hey, hello! Come here, donkeys! Here we go. We started. Come here! What is that?

It's a raw egg.

What is that? [shows the egg to Josh] What-what is that? What is that? [slams the raw egg in Vinnie's whites] Fuck off, will you? Fuck off! Okay?

(interview) He slammed that shit right in Vinnie's... chest and Vinnie tensed up and he was about to bust and all I could think was, "Oh, my God. Do not lose your head."

Fuck off! Hey, why did you let it go when you know it's not fucking ready?

I screwed up again chef.

Hey, look at me now. You've now just confirmed to my mind you're not trustworthy! So fuck you!

(interview) It's tough to bite your tongue. I just figured take it, it's the only way to win and you'll be alright.

Start the fucking table again.

(checking Vinnie's wellingtons) Vinnie!

Yes, chef?

Vinnie, come on chef. Look, raw pastry's trimmed off the bottom. That's the shit you don't send to the customers. It's still left on. Tell him to trim them please?

Trim them real quick.

Chef Vinnie!

Yes, chef!

Look at me. Can you trim it properly?

Yes, chef.

And bring it to the hotplate and cut the pastry with a straighted knife. Donkey! Is it every other one is right? Or is it one in three is right?

No, chef. This one's perfect.

This one's perfect. What have you overcooked? How much have you binned?

I fucked a lot up but I'm on it now.

[seeing Vinnie's wasted meat] Oh, no!

(interview) I kept my own private garbage bin on my station and I had six wellington orders and one chicken in my bin.

Hey, a restaurant wouldn't even open with that. You'd close it before you got anywhere. [slams the tray on Vinnie's station]

(interview) It was a mistake. It's an expensive mistake.

Oh! Fuck me senseless!

How long on the garnish? Chef Scott?

Am I in charge of the garnish now because you two fucking dickheads can't handle it? Green beans are coming right up. How long on the garnish? Because you two douchebags can't handle it. "How long on the fucking garnish?" I love that. What's the next pickup?

Surf and turf snapper?

I'm not fucking talking to either one of you schmucks! Shut your fucking mouths, alright?