Jay quotes from Hell's Kitchen

(interview) Hopefully, I can take (Holli's) pants off tonight.

OK, there's a few out there that are executive chefs, right? [Jay and Siobhan raises their hands] OK, good. There was one I seem to remember...you, (points to Tana) with the glasses.

Yes, chef.

What do you do for a living?

I'm a mom, but I'm a cookbook author.

Never worked in a restaurant?

No, chef.

OK, let's start from the bottom. Bring your dish.

(whispering) Oh, geez.

Apart from it looking like baby vomit, what is that?

It's a veal scallopini.

(tastes the dish, whispers) Oh, God. (to the lady) Listen to me. That dish... was delicious.

(smiles) Thank you, chef.

I mean, I'm shocked. It may look slightly dull and boring, a little bit like you, but well done! (the chefs laugh) Don't look so nervous.

You're scary.

OK, let me give you a hug. (hugs her) There. Right. Relax! Relax, relax, relax.

(interview) That is not his side. He doesn't just hug people. He's not that type of person. He's not personable at all.

What a great start! If that's a sign of things to come, well done! Thank you! (kisses her on her cheeks) God, it was good! [kisses her on her lips; the chefs were shocked and started laughing]

I wanted to be first! (the others laugh)

(interview) Chef Ramsay, you're a little slutty.

(interview) I was just so stunned. Chef Ramsay really did like that dish.

That was fucking amazing. [chefs laugh again] (to the chefs) Listen to me, before we go any further: this person is not who you think she is. (the lady removes her glasses) This person...is... my wife (Tana removes her disguise), Tana. (to Tana) Take that off. [chefs gave her an applause]

(interview) Thank God it's his wife. He just, like, licked her teeth.

(to Tana) A job well done. [kisses her again]

(interview) What a filthy bastard!

(to the chefs) The point I'm trying to make is that I don't give two fucks about how much experience you've got. What I do care about is who has the magic? Who has it? She definitely has it. (to Tana) Well done, my darling.

Thank you. (to the chefs) Good luck to you all.

Thank you for helping make my point. Thank you. [chefs applaud]

Uh... Blue Jay?

Yes, chef?

[referring to Salvatore] Run upstairs and get Bozo for me, please.

Oui, chef.

It's fucking raw.

Yeah, that's no good.

Everybody, come here a minute! Just touch that! I requested it rare!

Raw.

There's a big fucking difference between rare and raw! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SCOTT?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON?

Nothing chef.

(interview) Scott fucked up twice; he destroyed us tonight. He should be gone.

(interview) Scott tries to be the leader, the best, bla-bla-bla, but that was still mooing.

It's bright white fat! It's fucking raw!

How long, Scott?

I need 3 minutes, okay?

Fuck off, okay?!

What's the matter?

Doesn't want the dates.

Why?

Because I sold the - I wrote down dates and they wanted shrimp.

So you're lying to me. You fucked up the order.

Not intentionally.

Not intent - Come in here you! Come in! Come in! COME IN!!

(interview) Surprise! I screwed up, again. [enters the blue kitchen] I wrote down shrimp and they wanted dates. Er, I wrote down dates and they wanted shrimp.

Okay.

Basically, she fucked up the order! Yeah, she fucked up the order. [Throws the dates in the bin] Fucking bullshit!

Morning guys.

Morning chef.

Chicken gorgonzola yes? One of the dishes that's featured on the brunch menu at Claridge's. Now have a little taste.

Nilka, what's it taste like?

It melts in your mouth.

The chicken is delicious.

I can see the tomatoes lighten up the sauce.

Big bold spices.

You like it?

Yeah, I love it.

Delicious.

Good.....The dish that all of you enjoyed was in fact....frozen fucking food.

Wow. (interview) Oh, I feel like a complete ass right now. Oh, completely.

The chicken was cooked about... [slams the chicken on the counter] three and a half months ago. Freshness? Vibrant? Excitement? All I did was put it in a microwave!

In retrospect, the only thing that I would question was the chicken.

Oh.

I thought the chicken tasted a little watery.

OH, COME ON!!! (throws his towel on the floor)

(interview) Ok, fine. I fell for it. Hook, line and sinker.

Fucking hell. (to the chefs) Now pick it up!

Yes, chef.

With Nilka gone, the kitchen jumps into action.

Two minutes to the window.

Two minutes, chef!

But Nilka isn't ready to leave just yet.

Let's go, Scott please?... [sees Nilka] Nilka!

Chef...

No, no, no. I'm in the middle of service. Take your jacket off and get out of Hell's Kitchen. I've had enough. I-I can't do it, okay?

Please!

Nilka, don't do this to me. They're under pressure, we're under pressure. Take your jacket off and get out!

I want to still cook and prove myself, chef. (interview) And I won't stop, no, 'cos this is my dream, this is my fucking destiny, and this is what I want.

[reading off a ticket] Turbot, wellington...

I want to cook!

Lobster, turbot, wellington, beef. Let's go.

I don't want to leave like this, chef.

Oh, fuck me. Fucking hell.

Let me go to my station.

(interview) Nilka wouldn't leave. She was asked to leave one time, then leave. Get the hell out of here.

Please? I can do this shit!

Turbot, lobster, wellington, beef. Nilka!

I want to cook!

GET OUT!

I want to cook! I can do this! Please!

Hey, guys, I'm telling you now, do something for me. Get her OUT OF HERE!

Nilka, you got to go.

Benjamin!

Oui chef.

Get her out!

You got to go! When chef tells you to go, you got to go.

Go, go, go! (interview) Hurricane Nilka just had an absolute category five meltdown.

Oh my fucking God. I don't want to leave.

Nilka, get out.

GET YOUR JACKET OFF AND GET OUT!

This is so fucked up. I gave my whole life for this shit. (interview) It hurts to get kicked out of here like this, it really really does. I don't want to take my jacket off. (walking out) Fucking bullshit. (interview) It it - oh, it's just... it pisses me off that it went down like this, it really really did. It really really did.