Jillian quotes from Hell's Kitchen

(interview) I thought Michelin [sic] was a tire.

What's wrong with that?

Red team, salty.

Oh, dear. (returns to the workstation) Ladies.

Yes, chef?

Now it's coming back, salty! (tosses the plate on the workstation) Wow!

While the blue team...

Salmon!

The salmon's ready.

...has moved on to entrées.

And it's perfect! (interview) I have personally cooked thousands and thousands and thousands of pieces of salmon in my life.

What's that in there? Wh-what...?

That's not grilled.

Oh, dear. Raj! What's that? What is that stock he's putting in that salmon?

It's supposed be grilled, dude.

Yeah, I grilled it, and then I finished it with a little bit of sauce.

No sauce, bro. [Gordon drains the contents of the pan onto Raj's worktop and drops the pan] C'mon, get another one going, bro!

(interview) My personal techniques are not working for Chef Ramsay.

Disgusting!

(interview) He's the chef, it's his opinion, and I have zero opinion.

Start over.

Raj's cooking techniques aren't cutting in with Chef Ramsay. And in the Red kitchen...

(with an overcooked Dover Sole) Melissa, it's overcooked!

...neither are Melissa's.

Out it comes, look at that. Overcooked on the bottom, crispy as fuck, and it looks like Gandhi's flip-flop! (drops the Dover Sole) What a shame!

(interview) I don't know where he comes up with this stuff! Gandhi didn't even wear flip-flops, he lived in the jungle, I don't think the dude even had shoes.

Look it underneath! [knocks his hand on the workstation]

(interview) Shit!

Crab cake, aiyayay. (returns to the workstation) Excuse me! All of you, come here! This is what you've just served me! Just look at that, look. They're not even crispy, touch that on top. They're soggy. THEY'RE SOGGY!! It's like I've eaten it and sent it back!

(interview) The only thing Emily had to make is crab cakes. My 6-year old could do this.

Give it back. I'll make new ones.

OH, MY GOD!!

Yes, chef.

(to Jillian) Jillian, three fucking salad, fresh!

Okay, chef. (interview) Emily sucks.

While Boris is now cooking his crab cakes to order, in the Red kitchen, Melissa has already moved onto entrées.

[sees Melissa pulling out a tray full of filets from the oven] What in the fuck...

Unfortunately, her team is not even close to completing the appetizers.

Melissa.

Yes, chef?

WHAT IS THAT?! ALL OF YOU, come here!

(interview) Melissa had put in a huge pile of filets in the oven. Apps weren't even done yet. I don't even know what to do in this situation.

We've sent three tables of appetisers, and you're sticking all the beef in the oven!

(interview) Why the hell would you do that? I wouldn't even do that.

Do you want to go home? Why don't you make my life easier and just fuck off home? You can't be normal! (starts counting the filets) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...

(interview) Oh, my God!

...7, 8, 9, 10, 11...

(interview) Stupid!

...12, 13, 14, 15, 16...

(interview) Oh, HELL no!

...17, 18, 19, 20, 21...

(interview) What the hell are you doing, lady?

There's 23 on the board, chef.

SO WHAT?! WHY ARE YOU COOKING THEM NOW?! (no response from Melissa) Nona, WHY?!

I don't know, chef.

It doesn't make sense! They're gone, they're overcooked.

Yes, chef.

I can't do it anymore with you. You need a system! THERE'S NO SYSTEM!!! I CAN'T KEEP ON TELLING YOU EVERY FUCKING SERVICE!!! [slams the table]

Yes, chef. (interview) Sometimes, I just go stupid. But I'm better than this. I just have to show Chef Ramsay that I have what it takes.

Madness!

All of you, come here! What night is this? What fucking night?

Important night of the year!

Yeah, the most important night. Is this the most important gnocchi you've ever cooked?!

No, it's not.

Fuck off will you? (slams the pan on the workstation)

Come on, Trev.

What is that?

(interview) That looks like a big-ass booger.

Oh, my God.

Wake up, Trevor! Nothing's coming out! ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT! WAKE UP!

(to Trev) My lobster's up and you have no garnish.

(interview) Get off my pass and let me cook!

(to Holli) Trev is gone tonight. What do you think?

Yeah.

What do you need Trev?

(interview) This is not what he needs. Trev sucks. Dude, are you stoned? Like, did you smoke a joint before you came in here?

Trevor, you can't serve with those carrots in a burned pan.

Oh, no. I am going to fucking fix it.

I'll help you!

Do not help me! Get the fuck out of my ass! Don't fucking help me!

(interview) He is so stupid.

Does anybody need help right now? I'm good on app(etizer)s.

Could use a hand over here, definitely.

Here's your shallots.

How many are on the garnish? One... two... three of you. Sabrina garnish, Nona garnish! Trev, what are you doing?

Working it chef.

(to Gail) Gail, go over to the garnish as well, and might as well.

(interview) I've never seen Chef Ramsay called over the entire kitchen to help one person. Ridiculous. [to Trev] The squash is burning.

The squash is what? Burning? [facepalms]

Three broccolini, one squash! One squash is in!

Where's the fucking broccolini?

Dude, Trev, you have to put the basket down or it's gonna stick.

Nona!

Yes, chef!

Give me three broccolini! (to Trev) Hey, you, come here! I haven't sent one garnish out at the same (slams fist on the workstation) fucking time! I haven't sent them out yet! Do me a favour: Fuck off back and get some fresh air!

(interview) I'm pissed at myself, 'cos I'm supposed to be the guy that can do anything. I feel like shit because I've let them down. They expected me to be Superman, and Clark Kent showed up.

Hey look at me! You are not evening listening! I'm trying to help you!

I know chef and I am taking on what your are saying!

It (Three Beef) should be fucking seared by NOW!

Yes Chef!

It will help if the pan was on!

It's on Chef!

Fuck off will you! (Starts walking down to Nona's Station) Get out of my WAY! Look (Red Team) at that! Does that look hot enough to sear three beef? Let me show you (Nona) something! LOOK! There you go! (Takes the three beef out of the pan showing that the pan is not hot enough) It's hot Chef! (Sarcastically)

I just put them IN!

Get out the way. (Nona walks back slowly) Get out my fucking way. Get out my fucking way. (Nona is at the back of the kitchen) GET OUT MY WAY!

I'm not in your way!

FUCK OFF UPSTAIRS THEN!

Alright, fine. (leaves the kitchen)

FUCK OFF! (Nona leaves and returns to dorms)

Jillian!

Yes Chef!

Start working that station (meat)!

Yes Chef!

Gail! Look, I've got raw pasta! [picks up several strands of undercooked capellini] Hey, look at it! It's standing up straight! Look, madam! It's like a fucking thong leftover from a fucking night out in Vegas! COME ON!! All of you, just taste that, will you?! Taste it! Taste it! That's what you're sending me, taste it!

It's hard. [Nona spits out pasta into a trash bin]

(interview, groans) Bad night. Bad night for me.

Hold on, hey. It gets worse! [lifts pasta pan to show another pan with raw lobster underneath it] Touch that.

Rubber.

It's raw.

(to Gail) Every lobster you sent me tonight—Its been undercooked, overcooked! Undercooked, overcooked! Now, it's [slams fist on workstation] FUCKING RAW! Look at me! Get out!

Yes, chef. [leaves red kitchen for the dorms]

Get out! Get OUT! (to Jillian) Fish and garnish!

Okay, chef.

(interview) That fucking lobster! I failed my team. I failed Chef Ramsay, so, um... It hurts. [sighs] There's no crying in the kitchen.

Oh, no! What is that? Sabrina! That is cooked to fuck, and that there, fried risotto?

Burnt!

(interview) Come on, Sabrina! Don't start us off like this!

I want risotto, not fried risotto!

Yes, chef!

Right now!

How long Trev, two spaghetti?

Four!

Four? Four minutes that is pasta getting to cook in four minutes, Trev?

THERE'S PASTA IN THE BACK!

Stop yelling!

(approaches to Trev and yells at him) Hey! You watch your mouth right now! You don't stand over there and scream, I'm the one that's waiting for food from you, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND COOK THE PASTA!

Shit!

(interview) Now I'm trying, all you want to do is berate me, belittle me, get on my ass? Piss off!

Talk about out of fucking control.

There's no teamwork, there's no care, there's no passion! FUCK OFF!

(interview) I've never seen such chaos!

I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm fucking dying!

(interview) He's gonna kick us all out of the kitchen.

All of you, JUST STOP!

(interview) We're done, this is over.

COME HERE! [pause; to Sabrina] What's wrong with you?

Nothing, chef.

Look at me! Hey, look, you ignorant bitch! Look at my fucking eyes when I'm talking to you!

Yes, chef.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

I'm trying to work, chef. I'm trying to communicate.

WAKE UP!

Yes, chef.

(to Trev) You! What's wrong with you?

Nothing.

GET A GRIP!

You got it.

(to Russell) Hey, you! You may bark, but there's shit all coming out! [to Gail] And, you, look! Hailbut's STUCK TO THE PAN! [slams fist down]

(interview) We don't deserve to wear the black jackets, and this far into the game, we should be able to run a kitchen.

For GOD'S SAKE! [throws spoon across the kitchen]

(to Trev) Hey bozo! [does a stop signal; angrily knocks the workstation with both hands] Just all of you, look at me now! It's like you're doing it on purpose!

Oh, chef's losing it.

Hard, undercooked, and stone-cold. Three beef… hold on hey, just put your finger on that. Look at us! WE DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS!! WHERE'S YOUR PASSION?!! (angrily throws his spoon) I'm done standing here in a bunch of idiots! (throws his apron on the workstation) Fuck you all! Good luck, superstars! [he and Sous-Chef Scott exited the kitchen and left] Fucking useless. Aiyayayay.

(interview) We are fucked. Come on.

Oh, man.

Aw, there he is.

Aw he’s left.

(interview) This is over. Over.

(to himself) Oh, Jesus!

Holy shit! What the fuck just happened?! Chef is pissed!

I killed it on garnish tonight! There's no reason I should go up for elimination.

I thought I had a great night, too. (to Nona and Russell) I'm nominating you two. You guys were the ones who had fuck-ups tonight.

I had a good night. My votes are Trev, and... my second one is Russell because of the scallops and the halibut. (interview) Russ was not perfect tonight, and Trev did not do too bad, but it's hard to go wrong when you have Chef Ramsay wiping your ass for you.

My votes are for Trev and Russell, too.

(interview) What the hell?! (to Jillian) What happened to the plan?

[in the flashback] Let them get put up for elimination tonight. Even if they do good.

[in the flashback giving Jillian a high-five] Boo-yah, shocka!

(interview) Jillian's selling me out.

I'm definitely voting for you, Trev because of your attitude and communication lapses. It's fucking ridiculous. (Trev just shrugs) If you talked to me like you talked to me before about that salmon, I would have slapped the shit out of you! (Jillian and Nona stare at Russell in shock) If you ever think you can cop an attitude like that with me, best believe you're gonna catch one to the side of your fucking head!

W–Whoa!

[shrugs again] Okay.

I will fuck you up, bro!

New order! One spaghetti, two scallops, one truffle salad! [pause] How long?! [no one responds]

(interview) Nobody's listening to anything Trev says. Just like, "Blah-blah-blah," coming out his mouth!

Knock it out, guys! Let's get 'em in, get 'em out! [Nona continues to ignore Trev]

Answer him!

(interview) Nobody respects him, and that's why while he's on the pass, everyone's ignoring him.

One spaghetti, two scallops, one truffle salad! [beat; Sous Chef Scott looks up]

Is there an answer?!

Yes, chef!

The chefs may not be listening to Trev, but that doesn't stop him from calling more tickets.

One salmon, two beef, one wellington! Six minutes to the window!

Six minutes!

Thank you!

[facepalms] Stop two beef, one salmon, one wellington! 'Cause we haven't the fucking appetisers yet!

Son of a bitch.

"Son of a bitch?!" Ah, [throws spoon] fucking hell!

Fucking hell's right.

(interview) Trev sucks. Sorry, Trev, you suck.

COME ON, TREVOR!