Ben Caylor quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Bobby, what are the five entrées on the menu?

Uh... we have... uh, I'm not sure.

Matt, what are the five entrées?

Uh... there's uh... [Now Jen and Shayna also have their hands raised, just like Christina] I don't know chef.

WHAT!? Petrozza! WHAT ARE THE ENTREÉS!?

Um... um...

Chef Ramsay has just discovered one minor problem...

(interview) Nobody has a damn clue of what's going on!

My God! Christina what are the five entrées?

We have a lamb en croute, salmon, john dory, beef fillet and poached and roasted chicken, sir.

Thank you. (in a sigh of relief)

(smirks) (interview) The guys suck and they're going to go down in flames. That makes me happy!

Guys, what is the matter? Already you look like a bunch of dicks and we haven't even fucking opened!

(interview) Knowing the menu is one thing, cooking the menu is another thing.

Okay, thank you.

[walks with the salmon] Salmon, medium.

[Checks Ben's salmon, which is overcooked] What's wrong with that salmon?

It's a little...

WHY WOULD YOU GIVE IT TO ME IF IT'S BURNT?!

(interview) I sent up, you know, perfect medium salmon, and he sent it back. It had a little, uh, tiny burnt edge on the side. I mean, this is craziness.

You can't cook a fucking salmon?

I can cook a salmon, chef, yes I can. Just a lot of pressure, different kitchen, different... different cooking techniques that I'm used to.

Cook me a salmon, medium. Can you do that?

Yes, sir.

"Different techniques?"

With the likelihood fading that any of his table's other entrees will arrive, Bobby takes matters into his own hands.

Salmon, chef.

I've got a fucking headache. [checks the salmon, which is under-cooked] Ben! [pounds the counter] Salmon's raw in the middle!

Oh, maybe a little under.

It's pink! Come here you, hey, stop! [calls the blue team) Come here! [starts distributing pieces of salmon to the members] That's what brought to me, taste. Taste, yeah, yeah? [pounds the workstation and kicks the bin] FUCK! SHIT! What in the fuck is GOING ON?

All of you come here! Get in there! [The Blue Team enter the Red Kitchen] Let's put one shit mess with another shit mess! Get in there! There you go, join forces. We've gone backwards! And you're (Vanessa) just all over the place! And you're (Jason) just hopeless! And you (Ben) don't care! Pathetic! And then you look at me, gormless like, the salmon's raw when it was requested medium. And what do you say?

Different techniques.

[throws the ticket at Ben] Fuck off! Not good enough! I'm not going to continue this any longer. Winning team? Forget it! What's so FUCKING COMPLICATED? Christina, you made an effort— [flashback where she communicates with her teammates] to get all the appetizers out. Thank god! Unfortunately, we got screwed when it came to the first entrée. You've got to go upstairs and nominate one individual that's leaving here.

Yes, chef.

Petrozza, you stayed with it. Your mind was clear, your attitude was strong— [flashback where he communicates with her teammates] get upstairs and think about who you are going to nominate. One from the blue, one from the red. NOW GET OUT!

Yes, chef.

Bye-bye!

Love you, Bobby!

[calls out Bobby] Bob. Bob, come here. Yeah, I wouldn't go around looking for applauders right now. Right now is the wrong FUCKING TIME! GET OUT!!! [shouting loudly as Gordon orders him to leave the kitchen]

Yes.

Jackass waving at them! WHAT do we have to wave about?! I DON'T CARE!! GET OUT!!! [Gordon's last scream lets Vanessa and Matt run upstairs to the dorms]

(interviewing) Damn, man, another disappointment. It was horrible tonight, though. The words can't express, the look of disappointment on his face, he's probably feeling like right now that ain't nobody here competent to run his restaurant.

This is how I make my living and I can't fucking do it.

If I were on your station tonight, I would have done the same thing and you know that. You got the talent.

No, I don't.

Yes, you fucking do.

I've been in a fucking grill cook for 15 years and I can't cook a fucking steak. (interviewing) I feel worthless. This is all I know how to do and now I don't even think I know how to do this anymore.

Everybody expects me to put Corey up. I wish to God she would have fallen on her face.

Oh, yeah, Corey is evil.

She personally attacked me.

Hey, Craig! Four macaroni, one burger, one spaghetti of clam, and you've given me meatballs. One's called a fucking meatball, and one's called a clam. Spaghetti is clam, meatball is meatball. Where's the spaghetti of clams?

Right here, chef.

Fuck! [kicks a bin] Raw!

Don't worry about it. Start over, fast.

I got it, I got it, I got it.

So, how long?

I got it.

[pulling the tongs back] These are mine.

He doesn't even answer you, look. He doesn't even give you an answer.

Craig, answer the chef already!

TWO MINUTES!

Jen, stand next to Chef Ben. Cook with him.

(interview) The thing is, it's embarrassing that chef called them in to come help.

(to Ben) Look at the current situation. Now, go around and slap yourselves in the back now then.

I thought we were close chef, but I was wrong.

You thought you were fucking close. Let's give a big round of applause to the captain who hit an iceberg on the fucking Titanic. Shayna.

Yes, chef.

Stay next to Chef Craig.

What do you need?

I got it. I got it. I got it.

(interview) "I got it. I got it. I got it."

What do you need?

I got it.

Don't tell me you got it. What do you need? (interview) Chill! Take the help. Even if it's from a girl.

Just push out the plates. Let's just do it and just end the day.

Away now, one crab cake, one meatballs, one clam, one Caesar.

(to Craig) How long?

How long for the fucking clam?

You're burning, you're burning.

He's not even giving me an answer.

Come on, answer him, please!

He's making me feel fucking nervous!

[burns his hand] Fuck!

Hello?

Let's just go! Craig, Craig, the pasta's ready! Come on!

How long for the fucking clam?

It's coming up right NOWWWW! Fucking listen! [angrily throws a pan to one side]

Oh, my fucking god.

Ben, what you've done and the ambitions, you do seriously surprise me.

Thank you, chef, I-I was hoping you'd see that. I mean, I give it all I've got. Gave you a hundred and ten.

You surprise me to how shit you are!

Oh... thank you.

I was expecting more. Hey, maybe you shouldn't have quit your fucking day job so early!

All three of you should walk through that door.

I'm just going to keep giving you 100% chef. Every day.

I'm going to give you 125%.

I don't know percentages but just over that.

Ben! Quickly, here. [Ben slowly comes to the pass] Look at him, speedy, quickly, yeah? Just touch that, you can see how pink it is already. Fucking hell. I just want you to know what you're doing! None of you are communicating, no-one's going together, no-one's making eye contact, and no-one's reminding each other as a team!

Chef, I'm not used to the brigade system. It takes a little time to get adapted to it, and... that's it.

Hey, do you know what? You are so fucking sad. Every time I ask you something, you give me the limpest excuse, you know that.

I'm just being honest with you.

Yeah, I know that. I'm being fucking honest with you!

(to Jen) I love it. He's getting his ass kicked tonight.

You're one of the most fucking saddest I've ever met in a fucking kitchen. "It takes a little time. I can't get used to this." Sounds like the fucking weirdo on Dr Phil!

Come on man! What’s the matter?

I’m about to snap with you!

How long for those two wellingtons?

I have that wellington, chef.

Come here, you. What is going on? You've got one. Which one have you got?

I've got both of the wellingtons.

Listen to me. Which one is ready?

There is nothing ready on that ticket yet.

I'm aware you've GOT them! I need to tell the customers how fucking long.

Give me six minutes, please, chef.

For a well-done wellington?

Yes, chef. (interview) Back at home, I ran kitchens for years and, you know, no problem. It's just that he comes over there and gets so fucking riled up, and then he gets you all fluster-fucked, and you don't know what you're doing! (to Petrozza) Petrozza, where's the mise-en-place for the lamb? Because I'm going to be three short.

What?

I'll wrap you some lamb, just as soon as I-

(to Ben) Hey, come here you! SAY THAT AGAIN?! What time did that ticket come on?

6:30.

And what time is it now?

[looks at the wall clock] 8 o'clock.

You're joking are you? We ran out of lamb? They've fired the fucking entrées, and you're telling me now?

I got it, chef. I'll take care of it.

Ohhh, fucking hell...

Damn, Jen. And I was the problem over there? (interview) Ben wanted to use me as a scapegoat and put me out there. Said that I'm the weakest, and I hide behind everyone. The scapegoat's there, and you got no-one to blame. You can't cook, buddy!

(to Ben) Can you fucking wake up? I'm coming to the end of it, now!

What table is that?

Uhm, blue side, chef. They're requested well done, and it's blood all over.

Oh, fucking hell. Ohhh... (to Ben) There you go, there you go! (dumps the plates on Ben's station) Requested well done! Now look at it, then. Schmuck! JERK! (kicks the bins)

(interview) I have a lot of pride in myself and what I do. I'm just going to keep working and try and get the food out. That's all you can do.

Anything to say? It's easy for you, that's your fucking problem! You've had it fucking easy, you're not even busting a gut.

(to the Red Team) Karma really bites you in the ass.

All fucking night you've taken it easy! (Matt snickers) And listen, hey, look at me. STOP IT! Switch it off. You're not sending any more shit out of here, you've sent enough. Take it easy, you deserve it. You've had a hard night.

Are we done? Cause if we're not, I'm going to complete my station tonight, chef.

SHUT IT DOWN! TURN IT OFF, YOU DICK! (Matt snickers again) STOP IT!