Ray quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Lamb! Come on, Michael! Bit of energy!

[brings his lamb to the pass] Yes, chef.

[checks the lamb; returns to the workstation] Terrible. And embarrassing.

Oh, God. (interview) Fuck, it's coming back.

Timeout! Stop!

Fuck!

The bone, thicker than the fucking meat.

(interview) There needs to be meat on there! This is not a fucking dog's chew toy! This is lamb!

And if that's not bad enough... [Shows the wellington, which is cremated]

Fuck!

...they're way overcooked!

Horrible. Fuck!

(interview) Michael and Barret, dumb and dumber!

You don't slice the wellington until the lamb's ready.

Yes, chef.

And when it's together like-- (sees Sebastian) Oh, you!

Chef, can I please come back, chef?

(interview) Dude, really? What are you doing? Perfect fucking timing!

You, you come here, you. You're making me look stupid.

No, chef.

The blue team, one hour into service and not one entrée out. You (Sebastian), for the last time, take him (Barret) and him (Michael)...and get out! And let me tell you something, you come back downstairs again, you'll be leaving through the front door. Now GET OUT! Three of you! You (Ray), on meat.

Yes, chef.

You (Anthony), on meat.

Yes, chef.

Oi! GET OUT!

(interview) Now I'm pissed off. I didn't do anything to get kicked out of this dinner service. (angrily throws his apron)

Three halibut, one bass, one chicken. Come on, guys!

Yes, chef.

(interview) I'm looking at Jeremy sautéing off kale. I can see the kale literally catching fire, getting burnt!

Chef, turn that down some, chef.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, don't even serve that.

I'm not. Worry about your side, let me do my side, yeah?

(interview) Motherfucker, what?

Hey, no territory bullshit!

(interview) It's my station, and I don't need his help. So shut up and do what you're supposed to be doing.

Un-fucking-believable.

Can we go with three halibut, one bass, one chicken?

Seven minutes to the window.

(to Jeremy) What are we going with?

Two--two halibut, one chicken, chef.

Three halibut!

Three halibut, one chicken, chef.

Three halibut, one bass, one chicken! What are we going with?

(starts stuttering) The three, sleep, the three, three halibut, the two, two, uhh...

(interview) Jeremy, he's telling it to you! Just say it right back, man! Pretty sure birds can do that!

Three halibut, one bass, one chicken. What's going?

The three halibut, two f..., two, uh...

GET OUT!

(interview) Bye-bye, Jeremy! [laughs, Jeremy throws his apron as he leaves the kitchen]

Oh, man! [returns the risotto to the work station] [to Jon] Look at that there, stuck to the bottom of the pan.

Fuck, man!

[to Jon] Jon, take Dan and yourself, and get the fuck out of here! [Jon and Dan leave the kitchen]

(interview) When somebody gets kicked out the kitchen, they put more pressure on the next man. (in the kitchen) Whoo!

[to Ray] Raymond, taste that! [Ray tastes the risotto with his bare fingers] Fingers, spoons are everywhere.

Bland, chef.

(interview) Ray, you just stick your finger into a risotto in front of Chef Ramsay in Hell's Kitchen. That's just stupid!

[to Ray] You may be the oldest, but out of respect, FUCK OFF!

Yes, chef.

You got to be shitting me. (interview) Blue Kitchen tonight is like being in the middle of a natural disaster. [to Anthony] My fucking heart is beating. (interview) I'm not feeling good right now. It's getting hot. I start feeling pressure.

[to Zach] You good?

I gottta just - I gotta just breathe, homes.

Risotto?

[brings up the risotto] Risotto, chef.

(to Anthony) Just taste that.

Fuck!

Yeah, fuck.

(interview) Fuck!

Get out! Get out!

VIP table, NBA player. The risotto is too hard.

[returns and slams the risotto on the workstation] Risotto, a VIP table. Rice is fucking undercooked. [Ray places a pan underneath the workstation] Hey, he's a bit-- (to Ray) Hey, come here you. Give me that pan. [shows an overcooked risotto to the Blue team]

That one--

What are you doing? Wha-wha-wha-- Just what in the fuck are you doing?

(interview) Things are rolling, risotto goes out, awesome. Perfect good, good start.

[slams the pan on the workstation] That's burned and that's hard! [gets and slams the plate on the pan]

I'll put another one in chef.

(interview) Risotto comes back, awesome. Perfect, [deflated tone] this is what we do.

(knocks his hand on the workstation; to Ray) You, grand-dad! Come on! this is a pick up now!

Ten seconds, chef. Right here, chef.

(interview) Chef Ray, watch your motherfucking self and you'd better not make any more mistakes under the fucking sun. You hear me?

KEEP THE FUCKING PAN DOWN!

Yes, chef. I understand, chef.

MOVE, RAY!

Sorry.

(interview) Ray, get your head out of your ass and get this risotto out. We're waiting on you. Waiting on Ray!

Stop! Risotto tastes delicious! (to Ray) Now you've raised the bar.

Thank you, chef.

Hey, don't piss your pants! Just stay focused!

I won't, chef. Yes, chef.

Lamb? Where is the lamb?

I'll just bring it up, chef. A minute left, chef.

Come on, I'm going to lose those garnish.

A minute away. Garnish is done.

(interview) I'm doing fucking 50,000 things right now, and Dan is failing at the one fucking task that he has. I need a lamb.

(slices his lamb) Zach?

How the fuck?

(interview) Okay, the lamb wasn't cooking fast enough. What the fuck do you want me to do about it other than to put it in the damn oven. [puts his lamb in the oven]

(to Dan) Dan, real time. How long?

(to Zach) How long?

YOU JUST LOOK AT THE FUCKING LAMB! HOW LONG? [goes to the oven] OH, JESUS! FUCK! (interview) Then he asks Zach how long? Are you kidding me? How does that go? (to Dan) Get the fuck out of here! Get out! (interview) Really, if he lays one fucking finger on me, I'm going to beat him all over the fucking room! I don't care if I walk off and go to jail tonight!

(to Dan) Hey, don't stand there!

(to Dan and Michael) Hey, come on! Split it up! [Michael bumps Dan out of his way]

(to Michael) Don't fucking bump me again!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

(interview) Don't bump me! You ain't shit! You want to fucking fight? Come get it!

(to Michael) Hey, hey, hey you! (to Dan) Hey you, HEY FUCK-WIT! Come here you! Come here! [leads Dan and Michael to the pantry]

(interview) Wooo-hoo! Someone's getting it down.

[angrily slams the door] WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?

(to Dan) You got to talk to me, bro. That's it.

Alright.

You got to fucking talk to me!

Stop yelling at me.

No, fuck you! Talk to me or get the fuck out and go home!

(to Dan) You're throwing him under the bus all the fucking time!

Don't be sorry, dude!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

Don't be sorry!

Look at him and talk at each other!

I'll fix it! I'm sorry!

Let's do it! Come on!

(calls the Blue team) All of you, come here! Taste that. I want you to taste that scrambled egg! Taste it!

Some seasoning, guys! Little salt and pepper!

Who made that?

I did, chef. I put salt and pepper in chef.

You-- [throws his spoon away on the workstation] I mean, SERIOUSLY?! THEY'RE PARAMEDICS!

I got them, chef.

I think you need a doctor right now! [knocks his hand on the workstation]

Two more salmon coming right up.

While Nedra begs forgiveness in the dining room, back in the Blue kitchen,

Where is the fucking halibut?!

Coming up chef.

Come on, guys! Push it!

(to Ray) Let's go, come on. Get those up.

Ray hurries to deliver his third attempt at the same order of fish.

WHERE IS IT?

(to Dan) Bring that up.

Got it right here, chef. [brings Ray's halibut to the pass]

Come on, come on. Go with that, good job.

Please be cooked. For the love of God, be cooked.

[checks Ray's halibut] Wellington's beautifully cooked, pork's beautifully cooked.

Thank you, chef.

But I have a problem. [returns to the workstation] I have a big fucking problem—YES, I DO!! [angrily knocks his hand on the workstation] MERDE!

Fuck me!

THIS IS RAW!

Oh, my God!

Oh, fuck me!

THIS IS RAW!

(interview) Not again! Dammit, this can't be happening! (to Ray) Come on, Ray!

IT'S JUST RAW! [angrily knocks his hand on the workstation]

(to Ray) Get three more going. Get three more going. Put them in the oven.

IT'S FUCKED!

(interview) We're going down in flames! Titanic ain't got SHIT on us!

I'M DONE! (points to every member of the Blue team) You, you, you, you, you, you, GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

(interview) I was doing good, dammit.

Did I not say that we're done? I will let you fucking know when you fucking keep leaving in it. (interview) Dan, just leave it alone. I had it fucking perfect.

(Storms into the blue team's dorm with raw halibut) Hey, where are you guys?

Right here, Chef.

I spent 18 hours with you guys today, I give you everything I got, and that's the bullshit you're going to give me in front of Chef Ramsay? Make me look like a dickhead in front of a dining room full of people! I'm beside myself right now with that! I can't look at you guys anymore.

All four of you are now on probation. Go, back in line!

Thank you Chef.

Thank you Chef.

Don't thank me yet, and here's why: Each and every one of you, will have to earn your jacket back by the end of the next dinner service, and if you don't: (Gordon makes a swipe motion with his hand past his neck, resembling a slit throat) you're history! Piss off!

Stone-cold. Hey, all of you. (points to Ray) You first, fuck-wit! Come here!

Oh, fuck! (interview) No, this can't be happening.

Just touch that. Just touch the burger.

Oh, it's fucked, chef.

[angrily throws the burger on the workstation] Whose table is that?

(interview) A cold cheeseburger. How the hell does something like that happen?!

That's my family.

(interview) He just brought a perfect storm our way. Thanks, dude.

At this stage of the game, I don't expect the "I'm sorry!" IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! [knocks his hand on the workstation] IT'S FUCKED!!

I have another one chef.

(interview) Get it together, man. A cold burger?

(to Ray) Hey, you have the audacity to send that to my son! I wouldn't do that to your family!

Totally my fault, chef.

They're fucking raw. Fuck off. (to the Blue team) Hey, raw New York!

Oh, fuck me. (interview) Oh, my God. He just can't catch a break.

(to Ray) Come here, you. Just fucking come here! Who cooked it?

I---.

ANSWER!!!

I did, chef. I cooked it. I'll take it. I did, chef.

This is where it goes so fucking badly! It's not even red in there!

I understand, chef.

Two of you on the section! [knocks his hand on the workstation] Do you have any fight left?!

Michael, make another one!

I'm going to cook. I'm going to cook.

(interview) Ray, Michael. Pull your heads out of your asses and cook the fucking meat!

Here, I got the fucking New York strip, okay?

I got it on.

Don't rush the steaks.

(interview) Ray, please stop talking. Let me fucking cook the meat. I got it.

How long for that New York strip?

Three and a half, chef.

Oh, fuck! Take the table back. Oh, fuck me. (gives the tray of entrées to Ray) Ray, hey. Fuck off. Take that. Take it. A fucking joke!