Jason Underwood quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Scallops, risotto, how long?

Right now, right now. [brings his risotto to the pass]

Where's the scallops? [Dominic is still holding raw scallops in his hand] What's he done?

They're like little burnt bits of something here.

Oh, my God. The rice is overcooked.

Ow, that's hot!

Hey you, come here! I've had enough! You can't even get two fucking dishes together, that's how shit you've been! I don't want any more embarrassments. I just wanna go with some food!!

It's over an hour into the first dinner service, and Jason is about to get an invitation.

Sit down and eat that! I want you to taste what you are trying to serve Hell's Kitchen. Sit down. Let me know when you're done. I'll get dessert!

(interview) I am horribly embarrassed at myself. I should've fucking stayed home.

Stuff your face, y'bastard.

(with some bland sauce) Yeah, that's bland. It looks terrible.

(to the blue team) Come here! Taste that, all of you! [the men come over and start tasting the sauce] Run Dominic! You lazy fucker! And you put your fingers in there. Aw, my God! [takes a spoonful out, lets it drip] Look. Snot! [tosses the sauce away] Fuck off. [kicks the bins] USELESS FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT! You all know it's crap, not one of you got the balls to do anything about it!!

I didn't taste it yet.

Guys, it's just simple, just go man and come on. (to Ben) Just what are you doing? (interview) I didn't see anybody taste the food today, just getting into the groove out as "if like you're making love to the kitchen".

(to Ben) Caesar with a little bit of salt and pepper, that's all.

(to Bobby and points him) Hey you, take the badge off and give the (Louross) little fucker over there! Thank God, someone has a pair of balls.

Good morning!

Good morning, chef.

Bright and breezy!

[groaning] Yes, chef.

With everything you wasted last night on service, any restaurant would've gone out of business. You have to understand what you put in... the trash last night! Hey guys - hup! [garbage truck drives up] I've never seen so much fantastic produce wasted. Now. Every rubber chicken breast, every overcooked risotto, every rock hard potato you binned last night: get it out and put it back in the cylinders, move!

(interview) We're fucking playing through garbage this is going to suck!

(to a customer) It's raw? Okay, we'll do another one for you. (brings the dish to the pass)

Oh, fuck off.

That's Table 31, Chef. This is not cooked.

Blue. Come here, you. Oi, all of you, come here. (to Sharon) You've stopped. (to Christina) You've given up. (to Matt) You're setting the place on fire. (to Jason) And you're sending me raw fish, that's fucking cold and fucking raw. [angrily throws the fish in the bin]

It's not mine.

"It's not mine?" How dare you? It's just come back from the table.

Oh, okay.

SHUT IT DOWN! (to Jean-Philippe) GET THE FUCKERS OUT!

As the Red team, once again, starts over on their entrées, Jason starts preparing his first desserts.

Is this the right way to do it? I hope it is. (interview) I don't have a clue on this earth what I'm doing. I hate desserts! They're tedious! Women can make desserts, you know? It ain't my thing. (to Louross) ...5 minutes for the crème brûlée, so I have two of those in.

Your crème brûlée's done already!

No, it's not. That's not cooked.

That's cooked!

Oh, Jesus Christ. (interview) The soufflés looked like muffins in a cup! I don't know what was wrong, because I don't know desserts, but I know they would not come up for nothing!

Jason!

Yes?

What's happening with the desserts?

The soufflés are not coming out at all; they're sticking!

Come here a minute.

Okay. [goes over to Gordon] I cannot get them to come up, they're sticking really bad, they look like shit, they look like muffins.

(in a fast tone) So, are we going to take it off the menu, are we going to do something constructive, are we going to do anything about it...

I'm, I'm trying something new. I'm going to take some sugar and rub it around the rim, and try to get that... and... that's what I'm trying to do right now.

You're going to get some sugar and rub it around the rim?

Sugar-- no, no-- sugar, butter, and the cocoa powder, and see if that keeps them from sticking. :[Gordon goes over to the hotplate and repeatedly bangs his head on the counter]