Tommy quotes from Hell's Kitchen

[checks on scallops brought up by Tommy] Hey, rock-and-roll bozo, come here!

Shit!

I go from, "springy", to boiled bits of shit.

(interview) Aaaahhh, yeah, this sucks. Took a hell of a dive.

Take a seat and fucking eat them. (to James, who is in the dining room) Service please, little glass of wine, Sauvignon Blanc, goes beautifully well with the raw ceviche skillet.

[Watches other three contestants on the chef's table] (interview) Hell's Kitchen weeds out the week. This competition is mine, and it's only a matter of time.

One, two, three of you, ALL ON THE FREAKIN' FISH STATION!

I jumped over to help out, chef.

Yeah, I wish you'd jump in the oven! That would make my life a lot easier!

Brendan on the fish station is now ready to move onto entrées...

Sea bass is ready. Are we ready to go on entrées?

Pull it out now.

Brendan -

Yes, chef?

I haven't-I haven't called it. Who called the entrées?

...even if Chef Ramsay isn't.

Who fired? I didn't fire.

Yes, chef. Sea bass is fired, and it's ready.

What is going on? You cooked the bass. Is your meat ready?

No, chef.

And the garnish all ready?

No, chef.

You've got to work as a team! PLEASE!

(interview) Brendan, man he jumped the gun. You know, he's too busy trying not to fuck up and he forgets it's about communicating.

Okay, let's go for the first entrée together!

Yes, chef.

Timing!

Yes, chef.

Away now: One sea bass, one wellington, one New York strip, one prime rib.

Yes, chef!

Get another bass in!

[checks Brendan's seabass] Oh, come on. Brendan, it's raw.

(to Brendan) COME ON, BRO! REALLY? (interview) Brendan, you suck! You suck!

Blue team, BLUE TEAM!

Yes, chef?

STOP! It's just got worse. Not one entrée has left together yet. NOT ONE! (Chino) You fucked me on the risotto! (Tommy) You screwed me on the duck and now I got a raw bass! What are you going to do now? Any suggestions? [the blue team doesn't answer] I've got one big suggestion! [points to every member of the Blue team] You, you, you, you, you, FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE! GET UPSTAIRS!

(interview) What the fuck, man? It is so frustrating, dude. It made us look like a bunch of little sissy-ass bitches, man.

(calls to the red team) Ladies?

Yes, chef?

I need four of you in here finishing the blue team. Any of you.

Yes, chef.

(interview) Having another person coming in to finish what I fucking started is the most infuriating slap in the face, literally "taking your dick out and whipping it across my chin" feeling that I have ever had in my life.

[angrily throws water bottle] FUCK!

I didn't sign up for this, bro. Send my ass home, bro.

Absolutely nothing came out right.

People just don't know how to fucking cook. (interview) That was, like, the biggest pussy bullshit I've ever experienced in my life, man. [to his teammates] I've never been kicked out of a kitchen, bro.

It's EMBARRASSING! [points at Brendan] HE CAN'T FUCKING COOK! [points at Chino] HE DIDN'T GET THE FUCKING RISOTTO OUT!

I didn't sign up for this! I signed up to win! We're all supposed to be professional chefs, right?

I AGREE!

RIGHT? SO, WHAT THE FUCK?

I'm not happy about it either.

You think you're pissed? I'm pissed too, all right? We just got our asses kicked in a big game.

I don't like to lose! This is the only thing I'm good at, bro! (interview) I did not come out of here to be made a fool of! That's too much for me! (in the dorms) No, this is some fucking - [kicks something] (to his teammates) Do you realize that they're all in our kitchen right now serving our guests?

Yeah.

We're getting whooped by a bunch of fucking chicks in there! (interview) We just got schooled, man! We should've had a fucking pen and a piece of paper. We should've been taking notes. We just got our asses fucking kicked, bro. (to his teammates) Like, come on, man!

(to Tommy) What's the ketchup for? [Tommy removes the ketchup] Next time you start giving me stuff I don't need, I'm just going to throw it at you.

Yes.

Two cod, one lobster, one wellington!

Yes, chef.

(to Tommy) Three and half minutes, yes? On the two cod? The wellington? [Tommy doesn't respond]

Tommy!

Tommy, how long on the cod? You're driving!

TOMMY!

(interview) Tommy doesn't talk. He shuts down, he gets real quiet! And then he doesn't talk to Chef, and that's a sign of disrespect to Chef, so Chef gets even madder at him! (to Tommy) Tommy, how long?!

Tommy, you're keeping us all fucking waiting now!

I'm just going, chef. It's coming, I promise.

Yeah, then give me a fucking time!

Two minutes, yes?

No, give me five!

Oh, fucking hell.

I gotta redo that cod. (to Will) Can't put that out, right?

Fuck, man!

(to Monterray) Yeah, push it back. Five on that cod, guys. Five on that two cod. (interview) I'm being a leader for myself in Hell's Kitchen right now. I'm making sure things leaving my hands are perfect, and that's how I'll be noted.

Monterray! Hey, bozo! How can you keep on reheating your meat before it's overcooked?!

It's not, chef!

You don't know how to fucking do it!

It won't be, chef! It won't be!

Cod, sea bass, wellington, (New York) strip! I HOPE IT'S WORKING!

These are up for the cod. Can we plate this?

(to Monterray) Wellington!

[cuts into the wellington] Oh, my fucking God! [both halves of the wellington are raw in the center] Will, take a look at this. I don't think that's gonna pass.

If you don't think that's right, you need to let them know now.

Guys, I don't think it's right! Pull back!

Oh, fuck off! [slams spoon on workstation] Fuck off! (to Monterray) Come here, you!

That was me, chef.

I sent you four minutes ago! How can you continue cooking a wellington?!

I had two, chef. One was over and I still had one to send with the others, chef. And the other one was overcooked as well.

So they're both overcooked? [points at Tommy] You! Come here, you!

Yes, chef.

Last table was the cod, overcooked. Now it's the wellington. Let me communicate to both of you! FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE!! Get out of here, both of you! PISS OFF! Get upstairs and fucking sit and high-five each other! GET OUT, TOMMY!

Blue Team, I've got an amazing day. Do you like speed?

Meth or coke?[the contestants laugh]

Oh, my God! [Gordon slaps himself]

Only kidding! I'm only kidding!

[to Natalie] Switch spots with me, please. [he and Natalie do so]

You're going to make me stand next to him (Tommy)?

New York strip, wellington. Where are we?

How long, Tommy?

Anybody helping him or what?

Hold on, I got it! I got it!

You gotta cut those too, man!

Hold on. I got a rhythm going.

Oh, fuck me. You three.

Cut it and bring them up.

Bring it up!

What's this one, normal or medium? Is that medium?

Tommy, which one's well?

I don't know which one's well!

Medium or well?

(interview) Tommy can cook, but Tommy doesn't communicate. Tommy's in his own fucking world.

Tommy, what's this one?

Where's the two medium? (to Tommy) Stop. Leave me alone. Leave me alone, Tommy.

That's the medium rare, chef.

Leave me alone. My fucking head hurts.

The last two are medium.

[to Blue Team] All of you. All of you, just touch that. Just touch that! Where's the two medium?

Here, chef. And that is the medium rare.

Oh, the cold one? (to Tommy) You made me look like a fucking arsehole in front of Wolfgang Puck today! Now, that's... that's hot, that's lukewarm, and that's cold. Are you done?

No, no, no!

Yeah, I'm done with you!

Tommy, heat them up! Get them back to the fucking pass!

How long?!

HOW LONG?!

Three minutes, chef.

You have another wellington you can use, or do I need to put this one in?

WHY CAN'T WE JUST FUCKING REHEAT THEM?! [slams fist on workstation]

IT'S FALLING APART! IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT, I'M NOT SENDING IT OUT LIKE THAT!

Hey! Hey, hey, look at me! Hey, hello? [calls the attention of the blue team by knocking the workstation twice] He's (Tommy) cooking the seabass, what the fuck is he doing?!

Come on, Tommy! Tommy, are you serious?

Come here you! Hey, come here! He's cooking the fucking entrée [knocks his hand on the workstation] before we get to the fucking appetisers!

(interview) I got a little ahead of myself, I was on Speed Racer Mode. Started to get a little racy in the brain. I'm doing everything a hair early.

So he's cooking the sea bass now! For the third table, we haven't even sent the appetiser!

Okay, I'm rushing it.

Rushing it? Do me a favour. Fuck off outside, get a big, deep breath of fresh air. Piss off! Go on. Outside. Outside! Hey, look at me, fuck off! What a fucking muppet! (After Gordon kicks Tommy out for his fresh air) Romantic dinner? More like a fucked-up dinner!

Meanwhile, in the blue kitchen...

How long two bass, one chicken, one cod?

Walking now, chef.

Paul is ready with the blue team's first entrées.

What's he done? It's raw! (brief pause) Paul!

Is it raw chef?

Stop! All of you, come here! Paul just asked me, 'Is it raw?'

It's under!

(To Paul) Will you tell me? Just touch that! TOUCH THAT! [Natalie touches the chicken] ROMANTIC DINNER?! [throws his spoon away on the workstation]

(interview) It pisses me off because Paul knows better that. I mean... you just can't serve raw chicken.

(to Paul) Hey, chef! Let me ask you, is that raw?

Chef, its under. I got another one. I'll give it to you right now--

Hey, come here you! Answer my fucking question.

Yes, chef. It's raw.

GET OUT!

[loses his temper and throws his towel on the floor] Fuck!

Pink carnations, maybe. Pink chicken, no chance!

[angrily knocks on the wall with both hands; having throw tantrums] (interview) I fucked up on a chicken! I mean, I'm fucking furious at myself! [kicks his door to the dorms] Chef Ramsay, let me back in! Let me finish what I started.

Tommy, give that to Paul for his fucking romantic dinner. Upstairs, hurry up!

PUT THE SCALLOPS ON!

Shut up!

Grape jokes. So many grape jokes.

(to Tommy) Are you serious right now bro? Natalie is going to fucking snap if you tell one grape joke.

(interview; with a deep funny voice) Hey Guys This Is Grape! Hello! [laughs then groans in frustration]

If you hold on a second, uh.. you know I think my brain will work if I have "grape" expectations.

I'm so tired.

(interview) Please say one more damn grape joke. Please do it. Because, I'm going to fucking choke you-

Natalie, I feel like after my jokes, I've lost all ap-peel to you.

(interview; softly) Oh my god! [Natalie has enough] I am tired of these stupid fucking grapes. [throws the grapes away]

Calm down, Natalie.

You know why? because I'm not peeling anymore grapes, this is as stupid as shit, and I'm not doing it....... [throws the grapes on the ground, and jumps on them like she is throwing a tantrum] I'M NOT PEELING THEM ANYMORE! NO MORE! NO MORE FUCKING GRAPES! I'M NOT PEELING ANYMORE GRAPES EVER AGAIN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! THIS IS STUPID!

(interview) [says nothing]

Do you feel better?

(calmed) I feel better.

Oh, that was grape.

[throwing grapes at Tommy] Tommy I'm.... I'm going to kill you.

Chef? I got to ask you something. Why did you send me out of the kitchen? I wanted to be back in there with my team. I should not have had to fucking leave tonight, and I could have fucking held it down and fixed it! I'm so fucking mad!

Fuck off, Tommy! Or I'll stick your fucking head in that oven and talk to you through the fucking gas burner.

Do it.

[after a brief silence] Please don't rub anymore salt in the wound.