Joseph Tinnelly quotes from Hell's Kitchen

First name is...?

Joseph.

Joseph.

(interview) I feel like a dog that's been taken off his leash. I'm hungry, I'm hungry and I want this, and I'm going to get this. None of them will get in my fucking way.

So, this is...?

This right here's a roasted veal chop, with roasted root vegetables.

Uh-huh. Lovely colour on there.

Thank you.

What a shame, the Brussel sprouts are rock hard. Are they supposed to be that crunchy?

No, they're not.

(gives a sprout to Joseph) Will you have a little taste for me please?

Absolutely. You got a fork? (interview) I ain't no animal. If there's a fork available, I like to fucking use it.

You can bite that. You're a big boy.

I'm not an animal. (interview) Do I look like a caveman? Do I eat with my fucking hands?

Don't get defensive. Relax.

(interview) I was like "Damn! Throw it down, Chef Ramsay!"

Are you mad?

(interview) Me and him, we're gonna go head to head, without a fuckin' doubt. I will drag him out to the parking lot by his fuckin' jacket and stomp the shit outta him. That's bullshit! I nailed that fuckin' dish, he knew it and I knew it. No fuckin' way!

Relax. What a shame.

Joseph.

Yes, chef!

You're on the garnish.

Yes.

Louie's on the meat.

Yes.

He's cooking the spinach! Why?

I don't know why.

I–I thought I had to put it altogether, chef.

What's your station?!

I'm doing lamb, and–and rack of lamb, and chicken!

SO WHY ARE YOU COOKING THE SPINACH?!

I thought it went on the plate, sir. (interview) I was just trying to get a head start. Maybe Chef Ramsay should just pull the panties out of his ass or something.

Louie!

Yes, sir.

We got enough problems cooking lamb! I don't want you touching the fucking spinach!

Okay.

Chef, let me do the lamb. Bring him over here, please.

Listen, listen. Listen to me. Hey, listen to me, yeah?

Yes.

My fucking kitchen.

[puts hands up] Absolutely.

My fucking restaurant.

Alright.

Hey, and right now, big boy—Hey! I'm looking like a fucking idiot!

[raising his voice] I GOT IT!

(interview) Joseph, we're not at war. We're just in a kitchen, so calm down and let's cook some carrots.

Louie! [raises a chewed up piece of lamb] Wh... what is that? What is that? Did you bite that? Look! That's one, that's the other! IT'S ON THE SAME FUCKING TABLE!

(interview) Louie's lost. He's out of his league.

What's all that lamb here? Look at this! Hey, Van! You and Joseph! STOP! Look... at... this! Look! LOOK! LOOK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! LOUIE!

Yes, sir?

Fuck off back there. GET OUT! YES, get FUCKED, pile of SHIT! Hey, get upstairs, get your bags packed.

Can I help? Can I help in the kitchen?

Yeah, you can help me: GET OUT!

(interview) You want me out? You want me to pack my fuckin' bags? I'm out. My bags are packed. HE CAN KISS - MY - FUCKING - ASS!

With the kitchen at a complete standstill...

It's like a bad dream.

Chef Ramsay is left with no choice.

(to Joseph) SWITCH IT OFF.

Yes, chef.

(to the red team) Fuck off.

(interview) Anybody sitting at home thinking they can do this...Good luck. It's tough.

(interview) I've never had a dinner service like that. It was a complete and utter nightmare.

Enjoy it.

It's a treat to be sitting here by Chef and not being screamed at.

Trust me, each and every service, you're going to get stronger. Have you any idea how much shit I've taken in the kitchen? And the more I took, the better I became.

(interview) What am I learning by shooting shit? Nothing. What gets accomplished by running your mouth? Not a thing.

I didn't come here for lunches you know. That's not what I'm here for. I'm not going to lose my eye on the prize.

Well, we're fired up too, man. I'm not relaxing because I get to have a good nice lunch with the chef.

It's good to get out but I don't really care.

(interview) Joseph, he's a complete dick. He's a little hotheaded, and he's being a little too intense in the way he disrespects Chef Ramsay.

Where's the chicken?

Just a second. I'll cook it a little bit more.

[sees what Andy is doing] Oh, no. Oh, dear. We're cutting up a piece of chicken and frying it off. What do you think it is, chicken nuggets? OI!!! Come here you! Now you've cut them up like it's a chicken nugget, and fryin' them off?

Yes, chef.

You fuckin' donkey!

(interview) Andy, if you're sitting there all night long with a meat thermometer on your arm, why are you not checking the chickens? What the fuck is it doing on your arm? It don't look good on you.

[grabs Andy's pan] Is that how you cook in Whistler?

No, chef.

So why are you cooking it like it now?

I made a mistake chef.

Blue team. Joseph: let's be honest, that's a pretty sorry battalion you got there, isn't it.

Right now it is.

Who's the first nominee for the men?

They can speak for themselves but they know who they are.

Hey smartass, I asked you to tell me. Who's the first nominee, and why?

No problem: Tony, and Andy.

Listen... I know you may be slightly stupid. First nominee and why?

First nominee and why? Tony. He knows why. We sat down as a group and they wouldn't pick each other. You know. No peer pressure! We're men!

Just, just just - what do you want, a fucking medal?

What do you want me to fuckin' say? What do you want me to say? They know who they fuckin' are. We chose as a group and they stand out and they said they belong there. Stand up, they know who they are.

[approaches Joseph] Listen, you chippy idiot. I asked for one nominee and why, plain English. And you're mouthing off, and you couldn't answer me. Now can you just tell me, in fucking plain English, the first nominee, and why he's nominated. Is that fucking clear?!

That's clear!

Thank you! [walks back] Unbelievable! One simple request, who and why, and you make a big fucking song and dance about it!

I ain't no fuckin' bitch, chef, I don't give a fuck. I ain't no bitch.

...what?

I'm not no bitch!

He's trying to bring the best out of you. You got to look past it.

He's not bringing the best out of me.

Yeah, show some respect.

Shut your fuckin' mouth is what you should do right now.

Come on, man!

I'm talkin' here. I don't give a fuck about you. I didn't come here for you.

You want to be an executive chef, Joe?

Shut your fuckin' mouth!

Oh, my God!

You signed up to fucking learn and grow, and...

Yeah, shut your fuckin' mouth.

...you do this, dude!

Okay! Answer the fucking question!

You keep talkin' like this, I'll have you out in the fuckin' parking lot! I don't give a fuck. What do you want me to say?

I ask the fucking questions, YOU give the fucking answers!

[takes off his jacket and walks out of the line] Fuck that shit, dawg. I ain't here for that! [approaches Gordon and tosses his jacket at him] You want the fuckin' jacket? You want to talk some shit? Let's go step outside, mo'fucka! [gets in Gordon's face] I ain't here for that, dawg!

Wanna talk about fuckin' fighting me?

Oh wow.

Wanna get fuckin' rough?

You think I'm scared? Ah? Look at you.

Yeah, fuck the cameras.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I asked you one simple question, and you couldn't fucking answer me. And then you want to get all tough and up close and personal.

Fuck you.

There you go.

Ain't nothin' but a bitch.

You've got no respect.

No respect?

Now get out.

Fuck you, you fuckin' bitch. [Double flips off the chefs] Fuck all y'all! Right? [the guards lead him out, he trips over the step]

Watch the step.

Yeah, watch the step, bitch.

What an idiot. Total, total shame. [kicks Joseph's jacket up to the table]

(outside the restaurant) I don't need this and that. I don't need some limey - fuckin' - prick - talking to me like that. Without skippin' a beat, I'll go back home, I'll work. Anybody who fuckin' hires me to work in their kitchen, and they'd be PROUD to have me there. FUCK HIM! FUCK HIM.