Lacey quotes from Hell's Kitchen

What's the matter?

This station is fucked up.

Come on, Coi.

(to Lacey) Don't say a fucking thing. (to Gordon) I come over here, there's nothing fucking done, chef. Nothing!

Okay, okay.

(to Coi) Now why don't you tell him how you threatened me?

(to Coi and Lacey) Oh, oh, wait. Right. I'm just about to open the doors, okay? Don't panic. I'm not asking you to be lovebirds, okay?

Absolutely.

Calm down, get a grip, and show me some form of composure, yes?

Yes, chef.

Oh, my God!

The scallops are cooked, aren't they?

Yes.

Why are they still in the pan if they're cooked? They're going to be overcooked, you stupid cow! Oh, my God! Who cooked the scallops last service? Who was that?

I did, chef.

Come here, you! Come here! Show her how to cook a fucking scallop. Hey, by the way, she's not charging $300. Hey, this is free now. Free lesson! Stand back!

(interview) Colleen runs a cooking school, but she has no experience on the line and it clearly shows.

(to Lacey) Teach madam [Colleen] here how to cook a fucking scallop!

Yes, chef.

Shit!! Unbelievable!

(interview) I almost felt honored in a weird way. (to Colleen) It's okay. It's alright.

Thank you, Lacey.

You're welcome, chef!

Colleen!! Do you see a difference? Pink in the middle, coloured both sides, yes?

Yes, I do, chef.

Hey, did she charge you?

(brief pause) No, chef.

Yeah, thank fuck for that. Let's go. God bless Nebraska.

Oh, my God! [returns to the workstation] Come here you. Hey, Coi, come here! Carol, Lacey, come here! (to Colleen) Away now, two Wellington, yes, one salmon and one John Dory. Where's the John Dory?

(brief pause) I don't have the John Dory.

You don't have it. Hey, look, come here. Hey, there you go, look at that. [holds up the salmon] Look, look, hold on, hey, don't run away. IT'S BLACK! On top of that, there's an added bonus. It's fucking raw in the middle.

Yes, chef.

Fucking useless, fucking shit. You're not a cookery school teacher, are you? You're joking, aren't you?

No, I'm not joking, chef. I am a--

Tell me, tell me you're pomping yourself up to make yourself look good. You don't really have a cooking school?

No, chef, I own a cooking school. I have a business just like you do.

Your fucking business is not like my business. Hey, madam, let's get that fucking right.

You're right.

You're robbing people! You're a thief!! I'm concerned for the poor bastards that you've taken money off of!! [sees another piece of salmon burning] Hey, madam, lift that lid off, it looks black.

It IS black!

Oh, GOD!!

Both of them!

SHIT! [Gordon and Coi look physically shocked] SHIT!!! IT'S BLACK!!!

Yes, chef!

OH, MY GOD!!

These are burning.

I know.

Hey, madam, madam! GET OUT!! Get on the raw bar. Lacey! LACEY! Get on the fish!

Yes, chef!

(interview) Chef Ramsay's definitely not going to break me. He can ask me to leave, he can kick me out of the kitchen, he can do all those things, but he's not going to break me.

(interview) Meat is one of my fortes. I definitely had six, seven out of eight without even looking.

Ring the bell, ring the bell. Go for it!

I can't hear that!

Ring the fucking bell!

Seven wrong for blue, let's go.

Holy shit! We're working backwards!

(interview) SETH, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

Seth's poor performance has set the men back. Now Lacey has a golden opportunity to redeem herself with her team.

Come on, Lacey!

(interview) It's my chance to show my team that I can step up, and that I deserve to be here.

Come on! We can do this!

Move it, Lacey!

(interview) Lacey was just moving things around for the feeling that she was doing something, and you know what, that's no different to how she is in the kitchen.

Six wrong.

Robert has only improved on Seth by one.

(to Lacey) Come on, let's go! Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Okay... (sees that Lacey has placed the "bottom round" label near one of the model cow's front legs) BOTTOM ROUND?! WHAT DOES "BOTTOM" MEAN? One, two, three, four, five, six wrong! Dear oh dear!

She just didn't knowthere were anchovies on it.

You got what you asked for.

I know, chef.

So what did you fuck up? I know you find this is, I mean you-you, yeah, you laugh, it's funny.

(interjecting) I don't, chef! I'm not laughing!

You're fucking worse than...

I'm trying not to cry.

...Britney Spears, you jumped-up bitch!

(interview) There's a reason I don't wait tables, and this is it!

With just 30 minutes left in the first seating, Jean-Phillippe is looking for Lacey.

Table 23.

23-

The table which you forgot.

I have to go up there and tell them to fire it?

Well, who's gonna...who else gonna do it?

Jean-Phillippe, I've never waited table before!

(gobbles, mimicking Lacey) Can you just go and ask the chef to go? (gobbles)

(to Gordon) I need main courses for 23 fired, please, chef.

Yeah. Hey, madam, were you just taking the order in now? Why is it taking so long?

She forgot the table.

(shakes head and angrily swats Lacey away)

Yeah, "fuck off with me", I know.

Four salad, three shrimp, one plain! (to Colleen) Oh, no, no!

Yes, chef.

Hey, oh, no, no! Come here!

Yes, chef!

What's going?

Four Caesar salads, three shrimp, one plain!

One more!

Four Caesar salads, chef, three shrimp, one plain!

One more!

Four Caesar salads, chef, three shrimp, one plain!

And last time!

Four Caesar salad chef, three...

(visibly shocked) Oh, m - OHH, GOD!

... SHRIMP, ONE PLAIN!

Oh you fucking - hoo, shit! She's not normal... she cannot be normal...

(interview) My God! Colleen, if we lose tonight and I go home, I swear to God, I hope you can't sleep at night because you deserve to go home more than I do.

How long for the risotto and pasta?

Plating up the pasta right now.

How's your risotto?

I'm going. I'm going.

Where's the risotto?

Right here chef.

Carol!

Yes, chef!

[tastes the risotto then spits it out] Taste that rice, taste the rice. It's like mush! Show me the rice.

Right here.

Oh, my God! It's overcooked! It's like mush! Who cooked the rice?

The blue team.

The blue team? What? [goes over to the blue kitchen] Oh, come here you, all of you! Who cooked this rice?

I did, chef.

Look at it, J! How can you do that, J? [hurls the rice in the trash] J! For both teams?

Yes, chef.

Aw, fucking hell. Oh, come on. You can't do this!

(interview) The risotto was mushy, clumpy and nasty, and it definitely was not a good way to start the evening.

It's mush! Did you cook it all in the same pan?

Yes, chef.

Oh, fuck me. Oh, come on, fuck off J.

I'll get a pot on, chef. (interview) That pissed off Chef Ramsay, and I really didn't need that, because he's been riding me hard the past couple of days.

(to Jean-Philippe) Jean-Philippe, stop the risotto, yeah? (to J) J! I can't believe you just screwed the service in both kitchens!

(interview) J, you're my friend and I like you a lot, but today, you fucking suck, man.

My decision is... Ben. [Ben walks towards him and he decided not to send him home] I really want your jacket. (to both Ben and Lacey) I'm giving you one more chance.

Thank God.

Lacey, Ben, back in line. (to Lacey) Lacey.

Yes, chef.

You must... START working with your team!

Yes chef.

(to motivate all the blue team) Are all four of you capable of working together?

Yes chef!

I can't hear it.

YES CHEF!

Then do it! And do me a favor? Get out, the lot of you.

Leave it! Fucking hell, what is that?

Wha-I...

What is that, I said! Look at it! It's on fire!

Is this your well-done?

(tearfully) I don't know.

(interview) She was lost. [in mockery of Lacey] "I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, HUHU!!"

What's the matter with you?

I CAN'T COOK MEAT, CHEF!

What do you mean you can't cook meat?

Obviously I'm way too confused...

Hey madam, madam! Get out! GET OUT!

(interview) Can't handle the heat, get out the kit-CHEN!

[follows Lacey to the pantry] "I can't cook meat?"

I–I'm sorry. I just got really confused.

If you got confused, why didn't you say something?

I did and then Robert put the chicken and the chicken went on fire and...!

Why can't you just make the effort?

I'm trying to make an effort.

Do you want to come back in there and make an effort?

Yes, chef.

Well, wake up and get a grip! Come on! [leads Lacey out of the pantry]

It's over an hour into dinner service, and while Ben and Lacey struggle to get out entrées...

I need you right now.

You need to put me on something easier than fucking wellingtons.

Robert has managed to handle the appetizers on his own.

C'mon, guys! Let's fucking do it!

Let's go, move! We got this!

Come on guys, keep pushing! (interview) All I heard was "RRRRRIIIP!"

(to Gordon) Robert's ass is hanging out all over the place.

(interview) "Ooh, I feel a little breeze on the back of my ass!" I'll cook in my boxer shorts, I don't give a shit.

Damn!

Oh, my God!

Hmm... Fuck me!

Come here, all of you! What is that? Fucking bone's thicker than the meat! WHAT IS THAT?

I DON'T KNOW, CHEF!

[throws the lamb in the bin] It's not GOOD ENOUGH! GET OUT! YOU'RE not good enough! PISS OFF! [follows Lacey into the pantry] Madam, look at me. Let's be honest, you're done. You can't waste my time any longer!

I agree.

Give me your jacket, and leave Hell's Kitchen. And go in there, and say goodbye. Properly, say it properly! Let's go.

[to the blue team] Thank you for everything!

(interview) There's a small violin, just for Lacey. [blows a raspberry] She sucks. Adios, biatch.

Piss off! Let's go! Step up a gear.

(interview) On one hand, it's a relief. I can get back to my normal life. [packing her suitcase] Now I can get some sleep at night. (interview) But you know, another part of me wishes to stay and learn more and have that chance to win but unfortunately I fucked up tonight and I can only look back on the positive things which there weren't many for me. You know, my mom told me when I came here, "Don't make enemies." and that's the first thing I did and kept doing the whole time I was here. Sorry mom, I should've listened.