Louie quotes from Hell's Kitchen

What is that?

Sausage gravy over biscuits.

Sausage gravy?

Yes.

Over biscuits?

Yes. I sell about five gallons of it a week.

Gallons? What, you sell this to pigs?

No, actually, I own a diner.

Uh-huh, okay. And how much do you charge for that?

$4.75.

$4.75?

Yeah. With coffee.

Fuck me.

What's wrong with it?

What's wrong with it? It tastes like gunk.

[glares at Gordon] (interview) Hundreds of people eat that in my diner each week. I don't think it was worth spitting out!

Louie? Did you just put the lamb in the oven?

Yes, sir.

OH, MY GOD! [calls out the entire team] Hey guys come here quick! At least you know, Louie's on entrées and the fucking lamb goes in the oven like that. No salt, no pepper, no seasoning, not even seared! [slams the lamb on the plate] (to Louie) Louie, why do we sear meat?

To lock in the juices, sir.

To give it colour, to improve the flavour!

Sorry, sir.

(interview) You're a man. There's a primary instinct inside you that knows how to cook meat. You need to find it.

Fucking hell!

Joseph.

Yes, chef!

You're on the garnish.

Yes.

Louie's on the meat.

Yes.

He's cooking the spinach! Why?

I don't know why.

I–I thought I had to put it altogether, chef.

What's your station?!

I'm doing lamb, and–and rack of lamb, and chicken!

SO WHY ARE YOU COOKING THE SPINACH?!

I thought it went on the plate, sir. (interview) I was just trying to get a head start. Maybe Chef Ramsay should just pull the panties out of his ass or something.

Louie!

Yes, sir.

We got enough problems cooking lamb! I don't want you touching the fucking spinach!

Okay.

Chef, let me do the lamb. Bring him over here, please.

Listen, listen. Listen to me. Hey, listen to me, yeah?

Yes.

My fucking kitchen.

[puts hands up] Absolutely.

My fucking restaurant.

Alright.

Hey, and right now, big boy—Hey! I'm looking like a fucking idiot!

[raising his voice] I GOT IT!

(interview) Joseph, we're not at war. We're just in a kitchen, so calm down and let's cook some carrots.

Louie! [raises a chewed up piece of lamb] Wh... what is that? What is that? Did you bite that? Look! That's one, that's the other! IT'S ON THE SAME FUCKING TABLE!

(interview) Louie's lost. He's out of his league.

What's all that lamb here? Look at this! Hey, Van! You and Joseph! STOP! Look... at... this! Look! LOOK! LOOK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?! LOUIE!

Yes, sir?

Fuck off back there. GET OUT! YES, get FUCKED, pile of SHIT! Hey, get upstairs, get your bags packed.

Can I help? Can I help in the kitchen?

Yeah, you can help me: GET OUT!

(interview) You want me out? You want me to pack my fuckin' bags? I'm out. My bags are packed. HE CAN KISS - MY - FUCKING - ASS!

With the kitchen at a complete standstill...

It's like a bad dream.

Chef Ramsay is left with no choice.

(to Joseph) SWITCH IT OFF.

Yes, chef.

(to the red team) Fuck off.

(interview) Anybody sitting at home thinking they can do this...Good luck. It's tough.

(interview) I've never had a dinner service like that. It was a complete and utter nightmare.