Brian Merel quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Okay stop! You (points to Justin) don't touch another fucking scallop. Come here. Just touch these. Touch them! (Clemenza touches the scallops) Jesus Christ! [goes to Justin's station; finds that the scallops are poorly sliced] Why they're all broken? What the fuck have you done?

(interview) I'm working with scallops. They were complete shit. I was completely sabotaged.

Who sliced all these?

Someone else did my part, chef.

Who sliced the scallops? Chef has asked a question.

I did.

Come here you, executive chef. Come here. Look at these.[holds up some scallops] Expensive hand dived scallops. Look, you sabotaged them!

(interview) This is ugly. The scallops were just mutilated.

Hold on, it gets better. [shows a scallop ripped in half] Look at this one!

(interview) It looked like they got cut with a paper clip.

I mean FUCKING HELL! Look!

That's it. That's everything.

(interview) We're in trouble.

(to Tavon) You sliced all them! We haven't even served one fucking table! [knocks the workstation twice] They're all fucked! Look! Look! I've got a bunch of idiots here!

(to Tavon) Hey you, executive chef. Do you actually cook in your restaurants?

Yes, I did.

And do they do the same there?

Do we do what?

The same shit?

No, no.

So why are you doing it here?

I guess I froze, I mean.

You FROZE?

What else-what else do you want me to say?

You haven't even fucking defrosted! [Tavon laughs to himself] You think it's funny? All those fucking customers? Do me a favor.

Yeah?

Fuck off upstairs. Get out!

[laughing nervously] (interview) This is the first time I've ever been kicked out of the kitchen in my career. Chef Ramsay, you're a fucking douchebag.

One onion tart, one spaghetti, how long?

What are we waiting on? What do we got?

What are waiting on? I'm waiting on some fucking TALENT!!

Yes, chef.

THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE!!

Nearly two hours into dinner service, the women are stalled on the entrees.

[asking to the Red team] Chicken wellington, how long?

Five more minutes now, chef.

Christina Wilson

Five minutes.

And the men are still a mess with the appetizers.

I hope you're fucking proud of this, like a bunch of idiots here!

Come on guys, we need a down rally here.

(interview) Don is a living in his own world, he was wondering around not knowing what fuck not to do himself.

[holds the ticket] Two caesar salad, one onion tart, how long?

Onion tart working! Get on onion tart! Three right now! Three right now! [brings to the pass]

Check to see if they done, man.

Put the tray down. Put the fucking tray down. [checks the onion tart, sees that it's raw] Fucking RAW! [calling all remaining members of the blue team] All of you, ALL OF YOU!

Oh, shit.

RAW!

Fuck!

You (Chris Carrero) can't cook pastry. END OF THE DAY for me—GET OUT!!! All of you, GET OUT!

(interview) Never in my life having so embarrassed. Anybody who was on that line that wasn't embarrassed doesn't belong anywhere in the kitchen.

Fucking hell. You are kidding me. [takes the scallops back from the pass] All of you! ALL OF YOU! How dare you! Didn't you learn anything yesterday?! I mean, come on! [pounds the table] This is where it really hurts. Touch those fucking scallops. [The blue team touches the scallops] How fucking dare you?! HOW DARE YOU?! All of you, get over there, take your fucking shit, and eat it. Just see what we are about to send out. Fuck off, you. NOW! All of you, NOW! Let's go! Have a snack!

(interview) My fat ass sat in a pile of snow picking up scallops, and now I'm sitting there like a jerk-off eating these things, because you can't pan sear a scallop? What, are you fucking kidding me?

No one leaves until they fucking eat them, and if you don't want to eat them, fuck off home. I've had enough.

Yes, chef. Come on. I've got six in my mouth. (interview, burps)

Cod's raw. BRIAN! Hey you, Bozo come here! Cod is raw. Fucking cat food. [gets a piece of cod, then throws it on the workstation] Fuck off will you?!

[knocks his hand on the workstation] Fuck me!

(to Brian) Hey, hello chef! Wha-what is that? [tosses a small piece of cod to him]

Get another one in the pan guys.

Three cod, two lamb. How long?

One minute chef.

You need help?

I got it. (interview) I just can't seem to cook fish. I just can't seem to do it tonight!

Three cod, two lamb. What are we waiting on?

The cod chef.

Oh, come on. Check if that's cooked Justin.

Oui chef.

What's going on?

That's burnt.

Fuck. I burned my goddamn fish.

Oh, my God.

Three cod, two lamb. How long?

I have one cod left chef.

You ran out of cod?

Yes, chef.

What? Hey you, what in the fuck are you doing?!

It's an hour and fifteen minutes into dinner service and neither kitchen has sent out an entrée.

James?

[enters the blue kitchen] Yes, chef?

We ran out of cod. Can we serve the sea bass?

Yes, chef. [exits the kitchen]

Let's go. Three bass, two lamb.

Yes, chef. Coming right now, baby.

Hey! "It's coming, baby"??

Sorry, chef.

You COOK like a fucking baby!

Won't happen again, chef.

GET OUT! [slams his hand on the table]

Yes, chef. [bangs his hand on side of the oven as he exits] FUCK!

What's the matter with that jerk?!

[throws his apron in the dorms] Come on, man!

I'll take it from here.

(to Royce) Hey, chef. Shit chef, come here. Burnt bits of crispy skin. Eat that. [Royce tastes the burnt chicken skin] How did that taste?

Terrible, chef.

GET OUT! Hey, I'm done! You're over your head! [claps angrily] GET OUT OF HERE.

(interview) All of a sudden, it's just me and Roshe. Holy shhhiiittt!

I don't give a fuck if I finish this table on my own with Scott. I don't care anymore.

(interview) We are screwed, big time.

(presents the second presentation) The swimwear designs of Amanda Ché.

Hey, baby.

Oh, fuck my ass! (interview) Holy fuck! That is sexy!

How the fuck am I supposed to cook with that going on?

[he begins to stare with models] That's what we're gonna deal with? (to himself) I fucked up, don't look. (interview) So, there's a few boobies and stuff like that running around. I see those models, but they're not gonna distract me. I'm focused.

Get those beef in the pan and get them seared!

(interview) My head is in the steaks.

Guy, focus! Guy! Guy! Pan is on fire! Fuck! You're fucking charring now! Look at what are you fuck doing here? It's a filet steak. Hardly any flat, so it needs to be doing beautifully cook with control.

(interview) All Guy had to do was to sear off the beef, and then finish it in the oven, and let them rest. So, it seems very simple and basic, yet he was having a hard time doing that. He tuned out.

Show's almost over, can we get a grip? WAKE UP! (to guy) Wake up, you, yeah?

Yes, chef.

What is all that - oh fuck me! (Calls the Blue Team; as they lost the service) Stop, stop, ALL OF YOU!

(interview) Shit man, now what!

Who cooked this? (to Clemenza) Clemenza, come here you! What the fuck have you done?

(interview) Oh, no, no, no. (moans)

(to Royce) Royce, come here you!

Yes, chef?

[puts out all of the leftover of swordfish into the workstation] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. Why did you cook so much?

No idea, chef.

Clemenza?

I called them into 18 that can make four more.

That's not four more, its 11 more!

(to Royce) You told him (Clemenza), 18?

No. That I told him sixteen plus one.

Okay, seventeen. (interview) I say what the fuck is sixteen plus one? You called fucking seventeen, you jerkoff!

With dinner service complete.

He's really mad.

[to Justin] Yeah, as he should be.

[to Brian] No, really mad.

Chef Scott makes a rare visit to the dorm.

Let's go. Everybody, downstairs right now.

Yes, Chef. [The Blue Team head upstairs]

Chef wants to talk to all of you.

Yes, chef.

Right now.

Stay there, all of you just stay there. There's no way on Earth you're going back in there, I'm done. Red Team finished for you, brilliantly, BRILLIANTLY! How can they be so much better than you?

They're not, Chef.

They're not?

No.

[to Brian] You serve me soupy fucking risotto, (Roshni) wellingtons undercooked, (Patrick) cold lobster twice. [throws his towel] It's an absolute fucking joke!

(interview) He had every right to be mad it was embarrassing. It's our seventh dinner service it's embarrassing.

All of you, get upstairs and decide on two individuals leaving, don't take long. Fuck off. [The Blue Team return to the dorms]

A little bit of fish here, a little bit there. You're (Clemenza) stuffing your face with fucking desserts! Hey, [pounds table] all of you, come here! And put that one down. [Checks Brian's fish] Raw. A fucking blind man can see that's raw, raw, raw.

(interview) It's my fault. It's my fault.

Honestly, Your menu, your menu, your menu, your menu! You give me that, followed by that. You, you, you, you, GET OUT! Fucking idiots, Get the fuck out of here.

Fuck me. Burnt one side. (returns to the workstation) All of you, come here! Yeah, come here. Look. No colour and look. Burnt.

(interview) Really dude? It's a fucking piece of fish. I mean, like come on! Step it up a little bit.

[to Brian; gives him a piece of fish] Come here, just take a bite of that. Just take a bite. Eat it, you fuckwit. How does it taste?

Tastes like fish, chef.

Excuse me? (brief pause) Smartass, you want to be funny now, do you? (throws his spoon) You're such a dick.

(interview) Brian, really? Right now is not the time to fucking crack jokes, bro.

Get out, get out. Fucking idiot.

Fuck. [walks out of the kitchen] Seriously? (interview) That was a mistake of epic proportions. I did not mean to be a smartass.

[rekindles Brian] "Tastes like fish." What a fucking dick.

(interview) It was just the first thing that came to my head.

[sees Brian] Hey, come here you fuckface. What are you doing here?

I'm not done!

Don't fucking shout at me. I'm going to ask you one more fucking time. You give me a bullshit answer, that jacket's coming off and you're going through that door home. How did that fish taste?

Shit.

So why did you give it to me?

I didn't see the bottom. I didn't see the bottom chef. It's not going to happen again.

Oh, fuck me. The chicken is raw! All of you! ALL OF YOU! (to Brian) THAT'S YOU, FUCKER! [knocks his hand on the workstation] The chicken it comes up...

Raw.

RAW!

Fuck! (interview) Robyn, really? It's pink, it's still fucking bleeding. Come on, get it right.

Robyn, really? Really?! [throws his spoon away] RAW! (to Brian) Hey comedian! Crack a fucking joke now! I fucking dare you! [knocks his hand on the workstation]

I have nothing funny to say, chef.

Start again!

(interview) The lamb is nicely cooked, the sauce is on, we got this, we got this, got this.

Unreal! (chokes the undercooked lamb)

Fuck!

Wow! Ugh!

(interview) Yeah, we're fucked.

The sauce is disgusting. It looks like in a gas station. Nasty!

(interview) Okay, this could be good for us, I mean our lamb is cooked perfectly!

Red team! (holds the lamb)

I sliced the lamb, Chef. I apologize.

(to Barbie) Did you slice the lamb or chewed the lamb?

(interview) Barbie, what have you done to this lamb? Did you cut it with a fucking spoon?

I am seriously disappointed. I expected at this stage in the game something so much better! For the first time ever in Hell's Kitchen history, I, Gordon Ramsay, cannot pick a winner! Red team, blue team, you both lost. One team would've had an amazing day with a beach in Santa Monica, visiting Malibu in a helicopter. You had a beach club this afternoon for yourselves.

(interview) Hell's Kitchen season 10 making history! Only we're making history because we suck!

You have a long day cleaning. The front of Hell's Kitchen needs sprucing up. After that, Hell's Kitchen SUV's need detailing. But more importantly, I'm opening Hell's Kitchen tonight.

Yes, chef.

And do you know why? Redemption! You need it. I swear to god, it's going to be a great service. Because if it's not, I am not waiting until the end of service to get rid of dead wood.

Fuck!

Get cleaning.

Let's go guys.

(interview) Chef's pissed and do you know what? He's got every right to be pissed. We should all be embarrassed to be wearing these jackets right now.

(to Clemenza) Come on, C!

(to remaining chefs) Hi, guys.

Christina Wilson

Hi, James.

By the way, that's the car [shows a classic car with a surfboard after joint challenge loss] those taking to you to a private beach for the day.

Wow.

(interview) God, man! It would have been fucking pimped to roll down in Malibu [dream of time at the beach and relaxing on a pool with a wine] in that red car, lay down a beach, have some drinks, and just relax by the pool. Why couldn't we just win today so we could've been at the beach?

Enough about that cause that all winners stuff and we're all bunch of losers at the moment. (to both teams) So, we're going to clean. Alright guys, let's go.