Maryann quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Jeff, one spaghetti lobster with no lobster in it. The other is loaded with lobster. Wear that one out!

Chef Ramsay's addition of Michael to the red team is already paying off.

[to Jeff] Say "Thank you, Mike." Say "Thank you, Mike."

Thank you, Mike. [under his breath] They're expecting too much for someone who's never been on a fucking line before.

Jeff, do you want him to cook your meat for you, too?

What do you want me to do?! I've never been on a fucking line before! I'm doing it, I'm trying!

Jeff! Jeff!

Are you fucking talking to me right now, Jeff?! Are you?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is going on?

I'm trying the best I can-

Come here! Come here, you!

I'm doing the best I can! I've never been on a line before.

Stop shouting. Alright, what are we waiting on?

I'm working on that spaghetti right now.

Alright, move your arse and get it done. Dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Jeff, we're here to help you, but you don't talk to chef like that, okay?

Jeff, did you hear that (last order)?

No, I'm done man. I'm finished.

No you're not! Come back, Jeff!

Here we go with that. Are you going to run?

No, I'm going to stay and finish up service.

Oh really. Why?

Because I'm not a quitter.

You're not a quitter. Hey, you're not a fucking cook either. [returns to the pass]

[under his breath] You're an asshole.

What was that? What did you just say? I want you to say it louder! I want you to say it louder, Jeff!

Come here. What did you say?

If you don't like me, I don't know what to tell you. You're an asshole.

That's not cool, Jeff.

Unbelievable.

That is not fucking cool.

[takes his jacket off and leaves the kitchen] Send my ass home. I've had enough of this shit.

Go, please.

A little more than two hours into dinner service, Jeff has walked out, and the Red team is trying to keep it together.

What do you guy think we should do about the sauce?

What have you got?

I have a whole bunch of lamb stock and...

This is veal stock! This isn't lamb stock, this is veal stock. There's no way in hell we can pass this off as fucking lamb sauce.

(interview) I was totally desperate. Desperate enough to go over to the other team and ask them for some lamb stock. [crosses into the blue kitchen and goes over to Giacomo] May I have some lamb stock, please?

I don't think so.

[laughs] No way! Get out!

Please, you guys?

No way.

You guys don't want to share any with me? You guys don't know if you might need something in the future.

I don't give a fuck.

(interview) It was horrible. It was horrible. No matter what I did, something was messed up.

We are so fucked it's unbelievable.

(to Maryann) How's it cooked?

It was cold.

Uhm, Rachel, come here.

Yes, chef?

Just touch that. What's the lamb?

It's well done.

It's requested pink. That's cooked to fuck! [pounds the counter] It's barely edible!! [sits down] Aw, for God's sake!

Rachel, this is pitiful. Rachel, you suck.

(to Rachel) Stop right there. I'm going to put you out of your misery. Switch it off. [crosses over to the blue kitchen] Just stop. Shut it down!

Heather West

Yes, chef.

We don't have any fucking chicken, we don't have any more Wellingtons, we don't have any fucking lettuce! We haven't served any food! How could we be out of anything?

(to the red team) Your tables are now getting up... pissed off, and leaving! Nothing's getting done.

Eddie, fill those out. They're going to taste like fucking lighter fluid.

People fucking me up right now.

Maryann, are they arguing again?

Yes, chef, they are.

(to the red team) STOP! [calls out the red team] Come here. Shut it down, forget it. Service, (to Jean-Philippe) we're shutting it down.

[smelling the crab] Hey, missy (Joanna), is that crab high to you? Anyone else smell that? Where's the crab? [picks up the container and smells it] Ugh! Maryann, smell that-- [seeing Joanna trying to leave] hey you, don't you fucking dare! Come here you! Hello!

[smelling the crab] Oh god.

Can you not smell that? The crab is off. It's fucking rancid! How can you do that?

I did not smell the crab chef.

(interview) I can't believe Joanna had been using that. I mean, it just made you sit up and go "Whoa!"

Have you sent one out already?

No, chef, we haven't.

Thank God for that! YOU'LL KILL SOMEONE! [throws the crab in the bin] Hey, get off! Get off! Julia, take over.

Yes, chef.

Should I recommend something else?

Oh, you fuck recommend. Yeah, recommend a new restaurant.