Mike quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Tortellini, what's inside the filling?

It's just a cheese. It's a packaged tortellini. Fresh tortellini.

Packaged fresh tortellini?

That's how it's sold, chef.

Please tell me you used fresh tomatoes.

Uh, they were canned tomatoes. [audience groans; Gordon throws the dish in the trash without tasting]

Come on! That was a joke!

(interview) His whole meal came out of a box. Who does that? You know, you're cooking for Chef Ramsay.

(to Kashia) Congratulations, that was delicious, well done ladies. Next two dishes. Let's go.

(interview) I'm a little insulted. It's not like it's packaged dog food. [under his breath] Fuck it, that's bullshit, bro.

(to Mike) Come here you. What did you just say?

It's the signature dish challenge and Mike from New Jersey has cost the men their first point and now his mouth may have cost him something else.

[Mike stands in silence] Yeah, okay. You got anything to say to me, say it to my face, not my back.

Got it, chef.

Now, fuck off!

Sorry, man. I'm banning DeMarco.

Yeah, me, too. (interview) Right from the get-go, DeMarco's done shit. I mean, you can see a good chef and a shitty chef from a mile away.

Gabriel?

Based off tonight, I did good, Chris did bad.

Mark my words, I'm not dead weight, guys. I guaran-fucking-tee that. (interview) I own everything and anything that I do in that kitchen. I know I could've done better, but Mike, he's poison for the team. Keep DeMarco, keep me, but get fucking Mike outta here! (to Mike) If I'm getting all the elements composed, you're seasoning my fucking fish at this point. And that's all you did for me tonight.

Wait, wait, wait! I gotta say something! Chris wanted to fucking be the first guy to leave!

You know what they say? One person just works in the other. It doesn't, you fucking idiot!

(to Mike) If you don't see me do something, you're my man. You're listening to every fucking order being called out and you're watching what my hands are doing.

Alright, the guy that's cooking is supposed to be cooking!

(to Mike) Both of you are responsible!

Yeah!

But if he's saying that he didn't do it right, you're his fucking backbone!

He's been trying to sabotage our whole team, he sucks so bad!

I think we should send Gabriel up because he did just as much on hot apps as I did on fucking fish.

What?! Are you fucking crazy?! You stood there like a bitch! Just standing there watching him!

That's right. I did.

(to Mike) GO BACK TO THE GROCERY STORE, MOTHERFUCKER! Back to the grocery store, and keep working there, you little bitch!

(to Jason) Fuck you! You loud-mouthed, fucking doughboy bitch!

Oh, really?! You're fatter than me, you little motherfucking piece of shit!

I don't give a fuck!

Seriously?! Fuck you, man!

Come on! Guys, come on!

Jay, Jay! GUYS, NO!!

Hey, hey! Hey, Mike!

(to Jason) You got one shot! One shot and you'll be dead before you even fucking register with your little fucking brain!

(to Jason) Come on, man.

(to Jason) He's not worth it!

He doesn't–HE WORKS AT A GROCERY STORE!

I know, exactly!

(to Jason) You can talk all the shit you want, bro!

Guys, listen! Listen!

That's it, that's done! THAT'S DONE!!

I want all of you now to go into the blue team, and get on every section and help them get out nine tables. Let's go!

Yes, chef!

(interview) That was a gangster service. I mean, we even had to go over and help the guys 'cause they didn't even know what the fuck they were doing.

[sees the red team enter the blue kitchen] Aw, here we go. This is fucking bullshit!

Alright, blue team! The ladies are finished! They're in here now to wake you up, and finish.

No, I'm good. I got a...

Hey, shut up! YOU FUCKING DO NEED HELP! Anyone that gives me a stone-cold crab cake twice, trust me, you need help!

(interview) Take the help! Run with it! The more help you take, the faster you can get out the kitchen!