Petrozza quotes from Hell's Kitchen

With Rosann's dish receiving a good review from Chef Ramsay, things might be looking up.

[reveals Petrozza's dish, which is a whole pumpkin] Oh, fuck me...

...Or are they?

What in the fuck? Happy Halloween?

(interview) People ask me what my speciality is. But, I don't have a speciality; I can cook anything.

What is that?

There's a Cornish hen inside, Chef.

A Cornish hen? What'd you do to it to get it in there?

It got in there-- I got it in-- I got it in there.

Holy shit. [removes the pumpkin] These are potatoes?

Yes, sir.

In how much grease and fat and oil did you fry them?

There's some butter in there.

[holding up a dripping pile of potatoes] Some butter in that?

That's a lot of butter.

Well, just stop there. That goes in there. [scrapes the potatoes into the bin] And let's see what we got for trick-or-treat, shall we?

Okay.

[removes the top of the pumpkin] Oh, my God... How do you get in there and eat it? I mean, am I missing a trick?

It's plated tableside.

Oh.

It's- it's presented like that.

Alright, off you go. Take your time. [Petrozza splits the pumpkin open, revealing a greasy blob of meat] Oh, my God. Okay, stop right there. I don't think I'll get through that, do you?

Okay, no.

So, what's the, uh... dish called?

Hen in a pumpkin.

Right now, looking at that mess, I'd like to stick your fucking head in there, you know that? [tastes the dish] It's dry.

Yeah, well...

And the pumpkin's not even seasoned inside, it's just bland! You'd have more of a chance sticking a candle in there for Halloween to make me happy than you would sticking a hen in there. Fuck off.

(interview) Chef Ramsay said he was looking for something memorable. And I believe my dish was memorable.

Bobby, what are the five entrées on the menu?

Uh... we have... uh, I'm not sure.

Matt, what are the five entrées?

Uh... there's uh... [Now Jen and Shayna also have their hands raised, just like Christina] I don't know chef.

WHAT!? Petrozza! WHAT ARE THE ENTREÉS!?

Um... um...

Chef Ramsay has just discovered one minor problem...

(interview) Nobody has a damn clue of what's going on!

My God! Christina what are the five entrées?

We have a lamb en croute, salmon, john dory, beef fillet and poached and roasted chicken, sir.

Thank you. (in a sigh of relief)

(smirks) (interview) The guys suck and they're going to go down in flames. That makes me happy!

Guys, what is the matter? Already you look like a bunch of dicks and we haven't even fucking opened!

(interview) Knowing the menu is one thing, cooking the menu is another thing.

Petrozza.

Yes?

The menu. Five appetisers. What are they?

The appetizers... Caesar salad with... with fresh anchovies and seared uh... tuna, the um... the um... the um... [chuckles quietly]

Stop. Stop! Do me a favour: get out.

Okay.

Hey, look at me. Upstairs - hey! - and read that FUCKING menu! And listen, your station stands unmanned until you get your fucking shit together!

Okay.

Hurry up! [Petrozza leaves the kitchen to memorize the menu] Is it really too much to know the menu inside and out? Eat, drink, sleep, breathe it? I've got 3,000 dishes between my ears. Pathetic.

It’s not even fucking hot! [calls Petrozza] Come here, Petrozza! Oh, here we fucking go. Touch that. You, touch that. (to Bobby) Please touch that. There you go. Touch, touch, touch, touch, touch, touch.

It's rare. It's rare. It needs more fire.

Aggggh, [throws spoon] SHIT! SHIT!

Salmon, chef.

I've got a fucking headache. [checks the salmon, which is under-cooked] Ben! [pounds the counter] Salmon's raw in the middle!

Oh, maybe a little under.

It's pink! Come here you, hey, stop! [calls the blue team) Come here! [starts distributing pieces of salmon to the members] That's what brought to me, taste. Taste, yeah, yeah? [pounds the workstation and kicks the bin] FUCK! SHIT! What in the fuck is GOING ON?

All of you come here! Get in there! [The Blue Team enter the Red Kitchen] Let's put one shit mess with another shit mess! Get in there! There you go, join forces. We've gone backwards! And you're (Vanessa) just all over the place! And you're (Jason) just hopeless! And you (Ben) don't care! Pathetic! And then you look at me, gormless like, the salmon's raw when it was requested medium. And what do you say?

Different techniques.

[throws the ticket at Ben] Fuck off! Not good enough! I'm not going to continue this any longer. Winning team? Forget it! What's so FUCKING COMPLICATED? Christina, you made an effort— [flashback where she communicates with her teammates] to get all the appetizers out. Thank god! Unfortunately, we got screwed when it came to the first entrée. You've got to go upstairs and nominate one individual that's leaving here.

Yes, chef.

Petrozza, you stayed with it. Your mind was clear, your attitude was strong— [flashback where he communicates with her teammates] get upstairs and think about who you are going to nominate. One from the blue, one from the red. NOW GET OUT!

Yes, chef.

Bye-bye!

Love you, Bobby!

[calls out Bobby] Bob. Bob, come here. Yeah, I wouldn't go around looking for applauders right now. Right now is the wrong FUCKING TIME! GET OUT!!! [shouting loudly as Gordon orders him to leave the kitchen]

Yes.

Jackass waving at them! WHAT do we have to wave about?! I DON'T CARE!! GET OUT!!! [Gordon's last scream lets Vanessa and Matt run upstairs to the dorms]

(interviewing) Damn, man, another disappointment. It was horrible tonight, though. The words can't express, the look of disappointment on his face, he's probably feeling like right now that ain't nobody here competent to run his restaurant.

This is how I make my living and I can't fucking do it.

If I were on your station tonight, I would have done the same thing and you know that. You got the talent.

No, I don't.

Yes, you fucking do.

I've been in a fucking grill cook for 15 years and I can't cook a fucking steak. (interviewing) I feel worthless. This is all I know how to do and now I don't even think I know how to do this anymore.

Everybody expects me to put Corey up. I wish to God she would have fallen on her face.

Oh, yeah, Corey is evil.

She personally attacked me.

Hey guys. Louross, come here!

Chef!

Come on, quickly, let's go! Touch that!

Still kind of lukewarm, chef.

What did I request, temperature?

Medium well, chef.

Get it back in the pan!

(interview) I got this, I have to do it. I can cook a steak, you know what I'm saying, but like, what the hell happened?

The pan's burning, Louross, it's about to go up in flames. Charcoal beef. [Louross's meat pan emits a flame]. Do you honestly not know how to cook a steak medium well?

I know how to cook a steak, chef!

So why aren't you doing it then, Louross?

(to himself) Come on babe, come on, fuck!

Come on, Louross!

Plating up now chef, we're plating up!

(checks the steaks) Louross, What's up man? How come I can't see the nice beautiful inside of the beef?

I cut it in half then I just seared it to cook it off -

No, see, the correct answer is you fucked it up, you didn't cook it right, and you're trying to get it by me. Do you have another one that I can see a nice pink center in?

Yes, chef! [to Petrozza] Do you have another one with a nice pink center in it?

Nah I.. No. That one won't work?

No, that one's not going to work.

With no steaks ready to serve, Louross's situation is looking grim.

Fuckin' send me home, that's what they're going to do.

But Petrozza has a plan.

[notices Gordon isn't in their kitchen] This is our chance.

It's not going to work, it's not going to work.

This is the only shot that we got. (interview) We had to show the base of the beef, so I had to slice a sliver off it. I want to get the fucking food out!

It's not... It's fucked up already if it shows up...

(interview) He sliced that paper thin and I looked at him and I'm like are you serious? And he's like yeah! But damn, do you see the color on that steak? It was straight medium-well!

How's that one? Looks like it fucking works to me.

Hey Louross, where's that beef?

Here's the beef. [brings up his altered beef]

Much better.

How long for those two wellingtons?

I have that wellington, chef.

Come here, you. What is going on? You've got one. Which one have you got?

I've got both of the wellingtons.

Listen to me. Which one is ready?

There is nothing ready on that ticket yet.

I'm aware you've GOT them! I need to tell the customers how fucking long.

Give me six minutes, please, chef.

For a well-done wellington?

Yes, chef. (interview) Back at home, I ran kitchens for years and, you know, no problem. It's just that he comes over there and gets so fucking riled up, and then he gets you all fluster-fucked, and you don't know what you're doing! (to Petrozza) Petrozza, where's the mise-en-place for the lamb? Because I'm going to be three short.

What?

I'll wrap you some lamb, just as soon as I-

(to Ben) Hey, come here you! SAY THAT AGAIN?! What time did that ticket come on?

6:30.

And what time is it now?

[looks at the wall clock] 8 o'clock.

You're joking are you? We ran out of lamb? They've fired the fucking entrées, and you're telling me now?

I got it, chef. I'll take care of it.

Ohhh, fucking hell...

Damn, Jen. And I was the problem over there? (interview) Ben wanted to use me as a scapegoat and put me out there. Said that I'm the weakest, and I hide behind everyone. The scapegoat's there, and you got no-one to blame. You can't cook, buddy!

(to Ben) Can you fucking wake up? I'm coming to the end of it, now!

I'm gonna nominate myself, chef (Gordon and Matt give surprised looks) I can't pick any of these guys. They worked too hard and we came in today and worked our asses off, you know I tried to get the job the done. I just, I wasn't a star in that spot today.

Your level of maturity stands out. You're the most gracious man on that team.

Thank you, chef.

Petrozza.

Yes, chef.

You're a gentleman.

Thanks, chef, that means a lot coming from you.

Salmon, John Dory, chicken, wellington, fillet mignon, rib eye!

Guys, how long now?

I don't know, I'm trying to work on my migraine.

(interview) Matt is someone who is excuses for himself. Absolute fucked in a headache you know, come on pull through it. He's a crybaby and he is definitely getting more insane by in a minute. (to Matt) Matt, how long on the fillet?

(to Corey) I'll tell you in a second. (holds a well cooked fillet mignon) three minutes.

You guys are a fucking bunch of losers. (to Matt) What's going, Matt? What's going?

Two risottos, one fillet, one lamb and fish (salmon).

No!

No, that's right. No. He's got migraine. Look! Hey, look at there, Scott!

(laughs) Oh, fuck!

Not funny. I got a medical pills and I work through it.

He's got a migraine. Come here in a minute and let me just tell you something, you have a migraine? (quietly, to Matt) I've had one ever since you walked in here. Why have you just forty-two minutes ago to completely forgot and give you a favour?

I have no feeling in my hands--

No feeling in your hands? Yeah, come here. [takes hold of Matt's hand and walks him out of the kitchen, as if though Matt just peed his pants] Go upstairs the dorm and lie down, yes? Lie down.

But I want to work through it.

[turns around] GET OUT! FUCKING GET OUT! (rekindles Matt) "I got a migraine?" Fuck off... fucking useless pieceashit...

(interview) Matt doesn't take any responsibility for his actions, everybody in this place here has a migraine right now my brain feels like it's about to explode but I don't give up in that kitchen

FOUR MINUTES TO THE WINDOW TWO WELLINGTON, ONE FUCKING RIBEYE! HURRY UP CHRISTINA!

Yes, chef. [Sees a pan of rice] Oh, shit! [holds the rice and burns her hand] Who the fuck left this rice on here, guys?

What is that?

It's burnt rice, chef.

Who put that on there?

I don't know, chef.

Sorry. chef. I forgot about it.

Fucking useless. [scrapes the burnt rice and throws it on a chopping board]

(interview) Jen burnt the rice. It was sitting on my station, all she has to do and say, "Hey, I'm putting this rice here."

(quietly to Jen) Get out. Get out and get to the dorm. GET OUT! I'm not fucking around now. Get out!

(interview) I completely forgot that I put the rice on. I feel bad for that and that was my honest mistake.

(to Christina) Hey, she put it on, you've been standing next to it for an hour, you take off your apron and fuck off as well!

Yes, chef.

(interview) Oh, my God has this been a crazy night!

Hey, all of you: Fuck yourselves. Get out! GET OUT! [The remaining chefs leave the kitchen] Fuck off will you, yeah? [rubbing his face] Oh... Shit!