Clemenza quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Okay stop! You (points to Justin) don't touch another fucking scallop. Come here. Just touch these. Touch them! (Clemenza touches the scallops) Jesus Christ! [goes to Justin's station; finds that the scallops are poorly sliced] Why they're all broken? What the fuck have you done?

(interview) I'm working with scallops. They were complete shit. I was completely sabotaged.

Who sliced all these?

Someone else did my part, chef.

Who sliced the scallops? Chef has asked a question.

I did.

Come here you, executive chef. Come here. Look at these.[holds up some scallops] Expensive hand dived scallops. Look, you sabotaged them!

(interview) This is ugly. The scallops were just mutilated.

Hold on, it gets better. [shows a scallop ripped in half] Look at this one!

(interview) It looked like they got cut with a paper clip.

I mean FUCKING HELL! Look!

That's it. That's everything.

(interview) We're in trouble.

(to Tavon) You sliced all them! We haven't even served one fucking table! [knocks the workstation twice] They're all fucked! Look! Look! I've got a bunch of idiots here!

(interview) Royce can make spaghetti. Royce can make squab. Royce can make everything! I got this.

Break a sweat, Royce!

Yes, chef.

We've got about a minute and a half on the pasta.

My spaghetti's coming up. I'm fucking ready, we're ready, let's go!

You sure that's done?

Yeah, yeah. We got it. It's good to go.

(interview) I worked for a pasta company that produces a million pounds of pasta a day. Royce, let me clue you in on a little something. That spaghetti ain't done!

[returns to the workstation; to Royce] Hey you, come here. Crunchy fucking spaghetti. Crunchy. You can just see it. Pick that up, look. Crunchy.

Sorry, chef. I'll have another one in thirty seconds.

Hey, hey. Get out!

I'll have another one in thirty seconds!

Hey, hey! Look at me! GET OUT!! Join the fucking exec upstairs! GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!

Nearly two hours into dinner service, the women are stalled on the entrees.

[asking to the Red team] Chicken wellington, how long?

Five more minutes now, chef.

Christina Wilson

Five minutes.

And the men are still a mess with the appetizers.

I hope you're fucking proud of this, like a bunch of idiots here!

Come on guys, we need a down rally here.

(interview) Don is a living in his own world, he was wondering around not knowing what fuck not to do himself.

[holds the ticket] Two caesar salad, one onion tart, how long?

Onion tart working! Get on onion tart! Three right now! Three right now! [brings to the pass]

Check to see if they done, man.

Put the tray down. Put the fucking tray down. [checks the onion tart, sees that it's raw] Fucking RAW! [calling all remaining members of the blue team] All of you, ALL OF YOU!

Oh, shit.

RAW!

Fuck!

You (Chris Carrero) can't cook pastry. END OF THE DAY for me—GET OUT!!! All of you, GET OUT!

(interview) Never in my life having so embarrassed. Anybody who was on that line that wasn't embarrassed doesn't belong anywhere in the kitchen.

Fucking hell. You are kidding me. [takes the scallops back from the pass] All of you! ALL OF YOU! How dare you! Didn't you learn anything yesterday?! I mean, come on! [pounds the table] This is where it really hurts. Touch those fucking scallops. [The blue team touches the scallops] How fucking dare you?! HOW DARE YOU?! All of you, get over there, take your fucking shit, and eat it. Just see what we are about to send out. Fuck off, you. NOW! All of you, NOW! Let's go! Have a snack!

(interview) My fat ass sat in a pile of snow picking up scallops, and now I'm sitting there like a jerk-off eating these things, because you can't pan sear a scallop? What, are you fucking kidding me?

No one leaves until they fucking eat them, and if you don't want to eat them, fuck off home. I've had enough.

Yes, chef. Come on. I've got six in my mouth. (interview, burps)

Oh, my God! One, two, three, four, five, six of you cooking scallops?! There's more freaking chefs cooking scallops than there are scallops in the PAN!! [slams a scallop on workstation] GUYS! Have you any idea how stupid you look?

Yes, chef.

(interview) Six chefs. One for each scallop, and one to rub their asses.

All of you, come here! What is that?

A piece of overcooked steak.

I'm opening a steakhouse in Vegas. [gives the steak to Clemenza] Take that.

Yes, chef.

And fuck off! All of you, get out! Get out! Get out!

US Marines, how long?

(interview) I'm in trouble. This is not good. (to Gordon) Chef, I don't have anymore.

Say that again?

Chef, I don't have anymore.

Hey, fucking baby rhino screws the Marines! IT'S PATHETIC!! IT'S THE US MARINES! (to Clemenza) Hey, let's go you. Your fucking mess, you get yourself out of it. (to James) I know it's going to look embarrassing, fucking take him to the Marines.

Yes, chef.

Fucking ready right here, here! Sorry, Chef, I apologize. Sure that was done?

Don't put out the pork, it's not cooked, don't put out the pork, it's not cooked.

Don't - put - out - the - pork - it's - not - cooked.

(to Clemenza and Justin) Hey, both of you come here! (knocks the workstation)

(to Justin) I said it wasn't done.

BOTH OF YOU!

(shows the raw pork) That is it. GET OUT!

Yes, chef. (to Justin) I said it wasn't done.

Can I please-?

GET OUT!

[throws the tongs]

(interview) I just told you the pork's not cooked five motherfuckin' times!

It's my fault, Clemenza.

(interview) How dumb can you fucking be?!

Minutes before Hell's Kitchen opens for its ever first fashion night, the red team...

Hey, ladies. Once that last model has walked off the catwalk, [claps] bang! We go!

Yes, chef!

...is standing by, ready for action.

Is everyone ready?

Meanwhile, in the blue kitchen...

Let's go.

...Clemenza on the fish station is waiting for no one.

STOP! Clemenza! What are you doing?!

Scallops, chef.

We're not even open yet! Why is he cooking the scallops?! Oh God, Clemenza. How many portions of scallops have we wasted?

Four.

(interview) Clemenza, what the fuck are you doing?

Clemenza, I am fucking pissed off!!

(interview) Oh, my God. Someone's leaving right now.

ARE YOU READY TO GO HOME?!

No way, chef!

Stop! Clemenza!

Yes, chef!

What are you doing?! Nothing gets sent until the first catwalk! (to Roshni) You knew that, right?!

Yes, chef.

(to Guy) Did you know that?!

Yes, chef.

So why is he (Clemenza) cooking the scallops?! [pause] Clemenza, talk to ME!

I made a mistake, chef. It won't happen again.

Oh, come on.

(interview) I just start firing the scallops like an idiot, and people that knew staring at me. No one says a fucking word.

How many portions of scallops have we wasted?!

Four.

Fucking hell.

(interview) Clemenza, come on! He needs to pay attention to what the fuck is going on in that kitchen!

Scallops, please!

[walks to the pass] Coming up!

Over-fucking-cooked. (returns to workstation) Stop!! All of you, come here! Look, now we've gone overcooked to fuck! Horribly-done, grainy rubber. [hands scallop to Clemenza] Feel that, feel it! Just cooked to fuck! Who cooked them?

I did.

Guy! I'd rather you do it with control than try to rush them and create that mess!

(interview) Oh my God. We're done!

Clemenza! CLEMENZA!! Scallops, please! I'm running out of time! [still no response from Clemenza]

(interview) Guy just fumbled on the scallops, and I'm watching Clemenza go down like a body in the East River.

(to Guy) Get that scallop perfect, Guy. Come on, brother.

(interview) It's scallops! I mean, it's scallops!

Scallops, how long?!

Two minutes!

Three minutes!

Three minutes, chef!

Jesus Christ. Royce, get out there and tell them we need an extra five minutes. Hurry up!

Yes, chef.

[to blue team] Swordfish!

Fish, right now! Right now!

[brings fish to the pass] Chef, this is hot.

Yeah, I hope it's fucking hot. It's a kitchen, you doughnut. [the swordfish sticks to the tray as he tries to plate it] Oh, guys! Hey! What is this, a fucking... Hey! [bangs tray on workstation; the swordfish falls off] What–what is that? Rubber, overcooked.

One more swordfish! Yeah, yeah, I got it. I got it.

(interview) This is Clemenza's dish on the menu and it's hard for him to execute this dish.

I'm dying for a swordfish!

One swordfish, right here. [looks around the kitchen] I need a plate for the pass, please! Anybody, somebody!

(interview) Clemenza's like a lost cat sometimes. He's just, "doo-doo-doo, doo-doo!" Like, I don't get it!

(to Clemenza) Right here, right here! I got it.

Go, go, go! (interview) I get frazzled, everybody gets fucking frazzled! But, you know what, I got it!

What is all that - oh fuck me! (Calls the Blue Team; as they lost the service) Stop, stop, ALL OF YOU!

(interview) Shit man, now what!

Who cooked this? (to Clemenza) Clemenza, come here you! What the fuck have you done?

(interview) Oh, no, no, no. (moans)

(to Royce) Royce, come here you!

Yes, chef?

[puts out all of the leftover of swordfish into the workstation] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. Why did you cook so much?

No idea, chef.

Clemenza?

I called them into 18 that can make four more.

That's not four more, its 11 more!

(to Royce) You told him (Clemenza), 18?

No. That I told him sixteen plus one.

Okay, seventeen. (interview) I say what the fuck is sixteen plus one? You called fucking seventeen, you jerkoff!

Chef, I chased animals, I dug trees, I gave it my all every single time that I've been in that kitchen. I played 100% and I have not once, not once ever have I stopped and let my guard down. Once I have tried to help everybody and do everything I can possible, and I always played 100% and everybody's trying to fucking get rid of me, but you know what? I still put out better food than everybody standing there.

Clemenza, I want you to listen to me carefully. You've done well... you had a bad night. Are you done?

[pause] I'm not even close to done, chef. I'm ready! I'll go put out another dinner service right now if you need.

Wow. Based on everything I've seen and witnessed, my decision is... Clemenza. [pause; Clemenza is about to take off his jacket] Back in line!

YES! [high fives Clemenza]

Fucking raw. [returns to the workstation] All of you, come here. All of you!

Yes, chef!

A hanger steak, [gets a piece of steak] raw and perfect. I knew it was too good to be true! (to Royce) Hey you, Rolls-Royce, fuck off!

The women continued to serve just as much attitude as food.