Giovanni quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Garnish, please! (to Wil and Robert) What in the fuck are you two doing?

[interview; sees the customers leaving the kitchen] Oh no! When the customers got up and started walk out, I'm shocked.

Go, 22!

22 just left.

22. 22 just left.

My table got up and left.

[to Robert; tosses the plates to him] Hey! Hey, you! Hey, catch! They've just left. (whispering) They've just fucking left!

The rest of tables got walked out.

Alright. Out of Hell's Kitchen.

SWITCH IT OFF! NOT GOOD ENOUGH! [goes to the red kitchen] Come here, all of you! [calls the blue team] Come here, all of you, Yeah. Take a look out there. Pathetic, absolute embarrassment, utter crap! Clear down! CLEAR DOWN!

Giovanni! [returns to the workstation]

Yes, chef?

Hey, all of you come here! [points to Danny] He's cooking his ass off, surrounded by five muppets, yeah? The temperature's perfect, and I get that bit of shit there, look. I got given that! Would you eat that? [throws the salmon to Seth] Go on, eat it, eat it. (to Seth) Would you eat that?

No, chef.

(to Giovanni) Would you eat that?

No, chef.

[comes up to Giovanni] Hey, you can be pissed off. You got every fucking right to be pissed off. You know that, yes?

Yes, chef.

Fucking RAW!!

(interview) I've never had a chef come that close to me in my life. He can yell at me from across the kitchen, he doesn't have to get 2 inches away from my face.

Hey, is that your pink? Prep chef. You can prep a fucking scallop, you can't cook a fucking salmon. Come on, Giovanni!

Yes, chef.

What's wrong?

He (diner) said that he wants it bright up a little bit, chef.

Giovanni?

Yes, chef?

Robert, come here! Robert, bounce your way down here. Let's go. [portions the beef] (pounds the counter) Touch it! Touch it!

It's cold.

FUCKING SHIT!! [throws the beef away] It's still walking, that fucking piece of beef!

(interview) It pisses me off. We have an executive chef of a steakhouse running our grill. Wake up, get it together, and put out some decent food.

Giovanni!

Yes, chef?

Thank fuck I've visited your steakhouse! It's fucking blue!

Yes, chef!

Hey, all of you, here! Quickly! There's the filet, yes? Look at the fucking waste. [empties the waste onto the counter; the amount of waste is nearly as big as the remaining filet. Seth looks confused, while the other team members look horrified] That's what he took off, and there's the filet. LOOK AT THE FILET!

(interview) He molested that poor thing! People have gone to jail for worse, but it looked like he went at it with a jackhammer!

We've fucking WASTED the most expensive part! [hurls the offcuts to Seth] LOOK AT IT! What are you going to do, get daddy to buy you a new one? [stops for music to play] How can you do that?

I never butchered a filet before, chef.

Congratulations, you just have.

[smiles] Thanks, yes...

Hey, hey, hey, smartass - not in the right way, you fucking bozo.

Yes, chef. (interview) I don't think I did that bad, butchering that filet, but now I know for next time.

Giovanni!

Yes, chef?

Where's the New York strip?

Chef, I'm four minutes away!

Oh, my God. SWITCH IT OFF! We're now over two hours. He (Seth) fucks the filet, (to Charlie) the shrimps go down, (to Ben) this dick sends me dessert before the appetizers! [throws his apron] Fuck off! (to Jean-Philippe) Jean-Philippe, shut it down, yes? Two hours over. Clear down!

(interview; tonight was originally planned to have been his wedding) I've embarrassed myself, my family, my girlfriend. [throws his buff off angrily]

Here we go. Here comes the pain.

Imma tell you one thing: I don't like fucking losing. Come on, Danny, I was over there helping with you then I jumped over, I had to help with the eggs. We were all helping each other.

[interjecting] You should've been on eggs the whole time.

You were the one drowning on the pancakes, buddy.

That is-that is correct.

Look, you gave me a hand walking the pancakes up, and thank you for that.

Wait a minute, Danny. [J laughs] Come on, man. Are you serious right now?

What? You-you helped me plate some pancakes, and I appreciate it, thank you, I-I'm not a-

It's cool, man. Don't worry about it. I just-

I mean, I'm not a hero here, I never said I was.

You said that earlier. You said you were the best cook.

I am obviously the best cook on the team.

You want to hear something, dude? I will cook circles around you! I will circle you like a fucking moon!

Where have you been?

Hey, hey come on! Danny, come on! Hey, Ben!

[over Giovanni] Are you joking me? You couldn't cook my COCK!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Are you joking me? I AM SO FUCKING-

Where have you been?

[stands between Danny and Ben] Be quiet! Quiet! Quiet!

We'll see you on garnish. Let me see you on garnish.

Shut the fuck up.

I mean- you know what, I need two minutes, I need two minutes, bro.

Take your two minutes, bro, because I haven't seen you in the kitchen yet.

This is - HEY!

Where have you been?

[heads down to the patio] (interview) Danny's ego is getting the better of him, and he needs to come back down on this planet.

YOU'VE GOTTEN A COMPLIMENT YET, BEN?

OK. On order: Four covers, Table 4. Two risotto, one spaghetti, one Caesar salad.

Yes, Chef!

(to Giovanni) Is it [the water] boiling?

How long?

I'm waiting for the water to boil, Chef.

You expect me to tell Jean-Philippe we're waiting for your water to boil?

Oh, I'm sorry.

(interview) Oh, man, Gio. How do you expect to cook pasta in water that's not boiling?

Hey, look at me. There's no olive oil in there, the water's not seasoned, it's not even boiling!

(interview) Oh, that was my fault. I didn't check my equipment. It won't happen again, that's for sure.

Let's go, Giovanni, let's go! Oh, my God...

While Giovanni's in hot water, over in the Red kitchen, Coi's trying to get ahead.

(to Coi) Why are you cooking spaghetti when I haven't even fired it? DAMN!

Fuck!

WHY?!

I'm sorry, chef.

I can't believe this! Why can't you just drop it to order?!

I will, chef.

Tell me why you can't!

I'm just trying to get ahead, chef.

You can't get ahead! You're not that good!

(interview) I was trying to get so many steps ahead, so I'm kicking myself in the ass because if I would have listened better, he wouldn't be screaming at me.

Coi? Put some more spaghetti in. Make yourself...

Yes, chef.

Hey, I'm joking, you stupid cow!

It's an hour and 15 minutes into dinner service, and while food its way out of the blue kitchen...

Look what's in my salad.

..not all of it is edible.

What's going on on there?

That's from, uhm, table 20 blue.

Hey, ALL OF YOU! COME HERE! Who dressed the Caesar salad?

I did, chef. [Gordon shows the butt of lettuce to the members] (whispering) Jesus Christ!

Oi, bozo, Are you fucking stupid?

No, chef, I'm not. (interview) J feels like a jackass because of that freaking lettuce. I should have seen it. It's a disgrace. It really is.

Did you see that?

I did not, Chef. If I saw it, I would never put it in there.

(interview) Pretty hard to believe that that butt of lettuce went out there. It's hard to miss that big lettuce chunk if you're just tossing a small salad.

Un-fucking-believable.

Despite J's serving the butt of the lettuce, the blue team has served most of their appetizers.

How long for the risotto and pasta?

Plating up the pasta right now.

How's your risotto?

I'm going. I'm going.

Where's the risotto?

Right here chef.

Carol!

Yes, chef!

[tastes the risotto then spits it out] Taste that rice, taste the rice. It's like mush! Show me the rice.

Right here.

Oh, my God! It's overcooked! It's like mush! Who cooked the rice?

The blue team.

The blue team? What? [goes over to the blue kitchen] Oh, come here you, all of you! Who cooked this rice?

I did, chef.

Look at it, J! How can you do that, J? [hurls the rice in the trash] J! For both teams?

Yes, chef.

Aw, fucking hell. Oh, come on. You can't do this!

(interview) The risotto was mushy, clumpy and nasty, and it definitely was not a good way to start the evening.

It's mush! Did you cook it all in the same pan?

Yes, chef.

Oh, fuck me. Oh, come on, fuck off J.

I'll get a pot on, chef. (interview) That pissed off Chef Ramsay, and I really didn't need that, because he's been riding me hard the past couple of days.

(to Jean-Philippe) Jean-Philippe, stop the risotto, yeah? (to J) J! I can't believe you just screwed the service in both kitchens!

(interview) J, you're my friend and I like you a lot, but today, you fucking suck, man.

Where's the lamb, please? [Checks on the mashed potato in the pot and gives it back to L.A.] Stone-Cold. Come on! It's not good enough! Bland, cold, horrible mashed potato!

(interview) Chef was on, L.A. 'cuz she was a little late, I don't know what happened. All I know is she didn't have a good day today.

Wake up!

Yes, chef.

On order, six covers table 20. Entrées: Two wellington, two chicken, one lamb, one Dory. Wellington's medium, yes?

Yes, chef!

(to Andrea) Right Andrea, what's going? [gets no answer] No answer. I'm not in the best of moods, ah? I don't like being ignored in my own fucking kitchen. What's going?

I have no idea, chef.

Oh, my God almighty.

(interview) On garnish, you've got to be thirty seconds before everybody else. If she's not checking the tickets for us, we're screwed.

Come here you!

Yes chef!

Story of your fucking life, yeah, you have no idea!

Yes chef!

Hey, she's running the section, yet she has no idea of what's going. (to Giovanni) Tell her, chef.

Two wellingtons one medium, one medium-rare and lamb medium? I'm sorry, lamb medium-rare. Two lamb medium-rare.

Oh my God.

Two chicken.

Two chicken and a Dory.

Two wellington, Two chicken and a lamb.

Two wellington, two chicken, one lamb, one fucking Dory.

Yes, chef!

One wellington's medium, the rest is FUCKING NORRRRRRMAL.

Yes, chef!

Unlike us. (to Andrea) What's going, madam?

I have no idea, chef.

You have no idea.

I have no idea, chef.

Hey, come here you. Hey... fuck off! Hey madam, (points to the front entrance) through the door there! FUCK OFF!

Get that fucking camera out of my face.

Andrea, relax. The only thing he wants from you is to come back. You need to fight back. If you don't, you're finished.

(interview) This is the hardest... most difficult, most up-and-down thing that I've ever, ever done in my entire life! [to Jean-Philippe] It's just been out of fucking control tonight. There's no communication with anybody, and I just haven't recovered.

You want to stay?

Yes, I want to fucking stay! I've been through too much hell right now to fucking leave!

Absolutely. So keep it to Gordon.

(interview) It's just a reminder of how difficult it's been and how much...how much I just want this so bad.

So now you need to be strong. Go back in there, and give it your best shot. Go on, then!

(interview) I put everything I have into this every day, and I just had to go in there and fight for the rest of it.

[to Andrea] Right, what's going?

Two chicken, two lamb, one wellington, one Dory.

Thank you. Back in the kitchen! NOW WAKE UP, ANDREA!

Yes, chef!

While Robert tries again on the John Dory, Chef Ramsay is counting on Giovanni on the meat station to get out the first entrée of the night.

(with a chewed up piece of chicken) What is that?

Giovanni's best.

Hey, Ben.

Chef?

Is that a chewed up bit of chicken from the dog? [gives the chicken to Ben] Here, that's your special. Yeah, have a word with him [Giovanni], yeah? He's given up. Take all the garnish back, do whatever you wish with it. Your special has now become not very special, thanks to Dickface (Giovanni) there. Hurry up, Giovanni!

Yeah, but I'm not dickface, chef.

Yeah, say that again?

I said I'm not dickface, chef.

Yeah, you're pissed, are you? Not as fucking- Look at me, LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES!!! NOT AS PISSED AS I AM!!! YOU FUCKING ARE!!! DONKEY!!!

No.

(interview) Whoo! Boy, oh boy.

Cause RIGHT NOW, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! DICKFACE!

(interview) I'm an emotional person, but he can get in my face all he wants. He will not break me.

You're sending SHIT, and you're trying to get away with it! Now I'm READY for an argument! SENDING ME THAT, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!!!

(interview) You know, he just wants you to pop off.

And you wanna get all sensitive!

No, chef!

You want to get all fucking negative!

No, chef!

Hey, look at me, look at me, you send me shit like that, take your jacket and FUCK OFF!!

Yes, chef!

I'm not sending that SHIT, "CHEF!"

No, chef. Sorry, chef. (interview) I wasn't angry at him, I was angry at myself. It was just, I was boiling inside and... and he said something to me.

That's the well done one. And look at me, I think you're too fucked to get upset with me, you don't give a fuck what I call you. This is not personal, this is professional! That personal was a piece of shit, now put it BACK!!!

Yes, chef.

DICKFACE! [to Ben] Right, Ben.

Chef!

Get on meat with Giovanni, on there together, move!

Yes, chef. [to Giovanni] Don't worry about the Wellington, I got the rest.

Giovanni, Robert! Hey Andrea, come here you! [gathers them at the corner] All three of you are pathetic! You (Giovanni) don't care...

I care, chef.

You're (Robert) way behind, and you (Andrea) haven't got a fucking clue! Can we WORK TOGETHER AS A TEAM?!

Yes, chef!

Two wellington. One well-done! Get it UP!!

Where’s your wellingtons at?

I have them right here, already cooked.

Ahhhhh! Fuck! Why you fucking got a hot pan?

Robert, go see the medic. Oh my God.

Battle of the lamb. Now, Giovanni...

How you doing, Chef?

I remember being really pissed with you.

So did I.

Remember that?

Yeah, Yeah, I still have-- I still have the nickname. (shows a flashback when Giovanni ruins the special dish and talks back to Chef Ramsay)

Ben and Jared... Come here!

(Interview) Oh, what's gonna happen?

Yes, Chef.

The salmon, it's ice cold. It's not even fucking -- It's just ice cold. How does that happen? It's just ice (pounds his fist to the salmon) fucking cold. WHO COOKED THAT SALMON?

I did, chef!

How thick is that salmon? Pretty thick, yeah. (while Ben points his head) So what does that tell you? COME ON!

Needs a little more time, Chef. Heard.