Patrick quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Okay stop! You (points to Justin) don't touch another fucking scallop. Come here. Just touch these. Touch them! (Clemenza touches the scallops) Jesus Christ! [goes to Justin's station; finds that the scallops are poorly sliced] Why they're all broken? What the fuck have you done?

(interview) I'm working with scallops. They were complete shit. I was completely sabotaged.

Who sliced all these?

Someone else did my part, chef.

Who sliced the scallops? Chef has asked a question.

I did.

Come here you, executive chef. Come here. Look at these.[holds up some scallops] Expensive hand dived scallops. Look, you sabotaged them!

(interview) This is ugly. The scallops were just mutilated.

Hold on, it gets better. [shows a scallop ripped in half] Look at this one!

(interview) It looked like they got cut with a paper clip.

I mean FUCKING HELL! Look!

That's it. That's everything.

(interview) We're in trouble.

(to Tavon) You sliced all them! We haven't even served one fucking table! [knocks the workstation twice] They're all fucked! Look! Look! I've got a bunch of idiots here!

Nearly two hours into dinner service, the women are stalled on the entrees.

[asking to the Red team] Chicken wellington, how long?

Five more minutes now, chef.

Christina Wilson

Five minutes.

And the men are still a mess with the appetizers.

I hope you're fucking proud of this, like a bunch of idiots here!

Come on guys, we need a down rally here.

(interview) Don is a living in his own world, he was wondering around not knowing what fuck not to do himself.

[holds the ticket] Two caesar salad, one onion tart, how long?

Onion tart working! Get on onion tart! Three right now! Three right now! [brings to the pass]

Check to see if they done, man.

Put the tray down. Put the fucking tray down. [checks the onion tart, sees that it's raw] Fucking RAW! [calling all remaining members of the blue team] All of you, ALL OF YOU!

Oh, shit.

RAW!

Fuck!

You (Chris Carrero) can't cook pastry. END OF THE DAY for me—GET OUT!!! All of you, GET OUT!

(interview) Never in my life having so embarrassed. Anybody who was on that line that wasn't embarrassed doesn't belong anywhere in the kitchen.

Patrick.

Yes, chef?

First nominee and why?

Our first nominee is Tavon. He was in charge of the hot appetizers, and the squab really set us off the wrong way, and he couldn't recover from those.

Yeah, he got screwed by a pigeon. [Christina smirks] Second nominee and why?

The second nominee, uh, is Don. [Don rolls his eyes]

Don?! Why? He didn't even cook. Not only did you put in a shit performance, but you came to a crap consensus! The two worst tonight: Tavon...and Royce. And now, [points to Tavon and Royce] you two can step forward. Let's go. [Tavon and Royce step forward] Tavon, tell me, from an executive chef's point of view, why you think you should stay in Hell's Kitchen. Hurry up.

I definitely knew that I was more of the reason that everything went down, and I took responsibility for everything that happened.

What would you rate your performance this evening? Line chef? Sous chef?

Probably a prep cook that got thrown onto the line.

Well, that's way off my estimate. I would have said dishwasher. On a fucking shit day. [Barbie chuckles]

Minutes before Hell's Kitchen opens for its ever first fashion night, the red team...

Hey, ladies. Once that last model has walked off the catwalk, [claps] bang! We go!

Yes, chef!

...is standing by, ready for action.

Is everyone ready?

Meanwhile, in the blue kitchen...

Let's go.

...Clemenza on the fish station is waiting for no one.

STOP! Clemenza! What are you doing?!

Scallops, chef.

We're not even open yet! Why is he cooking the scallops?! Oh God, Clemenza. How many portions of scallops have we wasted?

Four.

(interview) Clemenza, what the fuck are you doing?

Clemenza, I am fucking pissed off!!

(interview) Oh, my God. Someone's leaving right now.

ARE YOU READY TO GO HOME?!

No way, chef!

Scallops, please!

[walks to the pass] Coming up!

Over-fucking-cooked. (returns to workstation) Stop!! All of you, come here! Look, now we've gone overcooked to fuck! Horribly-done, grainy rubber. [hands scallop to Clemenza] Feel that, feel it! Just cooked to fuck! Who cooked them?

I did.

Guy! I'd rather you do it with control than try to rush them and create that mess!

(interview) Oh my God. We're done!

Clemenza! CLEMENZA!! Scallops, please! I'm running out of time! [still no response from Clemenza]

(interview) Guy just fumbled on the scallops, and I'm watching Clemenza go down like a body in the East River.

(to Guy) Get that scallop perfect, Guy. Come on, brother.

(interview) It's scallops! I mean, it's scallops!

Scallops, how long?!

Two minutes!

Three minutes!

Three minutes, chef!

Jesus Christ. Royce, get out there and tell them we need an extra five minutes. Hurry up!

Yes, chef.

(presents the second presentation) The swimwear designs of Amanda Ché.

Hey, baby.

Oh, fuck my ass! (interview) Holy fuck! That is sexy!

How the fuck am I supposed to cook with that going on?

[he begins to stare with models] That's what we're gonna deal with? (to himself) I fucked up, don't look. (interview) So, there's a few boobies and stuff like that running around. I see those models, but they're not gonna distract me. I'm focused.

Get those beef in the pan and get them seared!

(interview) My head is in the steaks.

Guy, focus! Guy! Guy! Pan is on fire! Fuck! You're fucking charring now! Look at what are you fuck doing here? It's a filet steak. Hardly any flat, so it needs to be doing beautifully cook with control.

(interview) All Guy had to do was to sear off the beef, and then finish it in the oven, and let them rest. So, it seems very simple and basic, yet he was having a hard time doing that. He tuned out.

Show's almost over, can we get a grip? WAKE UP! (to guy) Wake up, you, yeah?

Yes, chef.

[to blue team] Swordfish!

Fish, right now! Right now!

[brings fish to the pass] Chef, this is hot.

Yeah, I hope it's fucking hot. It's a kitchen, you doughnut. [the swordfish sticks to the tray as he tries to plate it] Oh, guys! Hey! What is this, a fucking... Hey! [bangs tray on workstation; the swordfish falls off] What–what is that? Rubber, overcooked.

One more swordfish! Yeah, yeah, I got it. I got it.

(interview) This is Clemenza's dish on the menu and it's hard for him to execute this dish.

I'm dying for a swordfish!

One swordfish, right here. [looks around the kitchen] I need a plate for the pass, please! Anybody, somebody!

(interview) Clemenza's like a lost cat sometimes. He's just, "doo-doo-doo, doo-doo!" Like, I don't get it!

(to Clemenza) Right here, right here! I got it.

Go, go, go! (interview) I get frazzled, everybody gets fucking frazzled! But, you know what, I got it!

Blue team, away now Table 22, Concentrate. Three filet, one hanger steak.

Yes chef, four minutes. [Royce just stares at Gordon]

Royce doesn't even answer. Three filet, one hanger! Tell him, chef, three filet, one hanger.

Yes, chef, three filet, one hanger!

One more time!

Three filet, one hanger!

One more time!

Three filet, one hanger!

One more time!

Three filet, one hanger! I got two minutes on mine. [Ramsay claps slowly]

Give me three minutes-- three minutes, chef, on...

On what?

Two filet, one hanger.

Oh, my God!

Three filet! Sorry chef. Three filet, one hanger!

Hey, you! Hey, fuckwit. Come here you.

Fuck!

Hey, you! (Justin) On meat. Let's go. Patrick. Fuck off!

Oh, fuck me! Fuck!

Hey, outside and get some fresh air. Fuck off!