Seth quotes from Hell's Kitchen

Looks like lamb chops on a bed of ratatouille.

Uh, that's mine, chef. (interview) To be like Chef Ramsay is my dream. I've read his books, I've visited his restaurant in Manhattan. I think we have very similar styles.

How long have you been cooking?

15 years around.

And what is it?

That's cinnamon-crusted rack of lamb with a(n) aubergine ratatouille.

The ratatouille, what's in there?

Tomatoes, onion, tomato sauce, tomato paste.

[spits out food] How come the aubergine's so sweet?

There's some honey, uh...

Honey in a ratatouille? Uh, is that normal?

No, chef.

That's the worst dish I've ever tasted. [Seth laughs] 15 years to cook that shit, and you're laughing. You can make history on being the fastest exit in Hell's Kitchen. And I'm fucking serious, you know that. Back in line. [Seth goes back in line] The quicker you understand how serious I am, the quicker you'll cook better.

I'll try harder next time, sir. (interview) I thought it looked all right. I think my presentation was good. I know it's a good dish. I got to prove to him that I can cook my ass off.

As Colleen gets schooled in spaghetti, Seth is hoping to score high marks with his first entrée.

Why's it all fucking mangled?

Because he didn't have it ready, and then he sliced it and seared all the chops.

Hey, Forrest! Come here you.

(interview) Ramsay, he keeps calling me "Forrest" as in Forrest Gump. I think it's a great name!

You didn't cook it properly temperature wise, so you decided to buckle it and bastardize it. Now you're really having a laugh, yeah?

(interview) Man, this poor lamb chop just got charred. No excuse for that first lamb.

Would you get excited to come here and eat that shit?

Absolutely not.

Yeah, fuck off, will you, yeah?

(interview) Listen, I screwed up the lamb, but at the end of the service, Gordon and I will be like peas and carrots once again!

Seth and Charlie have delivered their lobster spaghetti to the pass.

There's no fucking lobster in there.

Doesn't look like it, no.

But, it's missing one key ingredient.

[returns to the workstation and pushes a pan aside] Hey, fuck-wit! Come here you! Come here!

What's this?

There's no fucking lobster in it!

Shit!!

How can you give it to me with no lobster in there?!

We're stupid, chef. Apologies.

Wake up, Charlie!!

Yes, chef! Yes, chef!

And you [Seth], docile fucking idiot! What's the dish called?

Uhm... Uhm...

Spaghetti of lobster!!

(interview) I feel like I just got hit by a train!

Giovanni! [returns to the workstation]

Yes, chef?

Hey, all of you come here! [points to Danny] He's cooking his ass off, surrounded by five muppets, yeah? The temperature's perfect, and I get that bit of shit there, look. I got given that! Would you eat that? [throws the salmon to Seth] Go on, eat it, eat it. (to Seth) Would you eat that?

No, chef.

(to Giovanni) Would you eat that?

No, chef.

[comes up to Giovanni] Hey, you can be pissed off. You got every fucking right to be pissed off. You know that, yes?

Yes, chef.

Fucking RAW!!

(interview) I've never had a chef come that close to me in my life. He can yell at me from across the kitchen, he doesn't have to get 2 inches away from my face.

Hey, is that your pink? Prep chef. You can prep a fucking scallop, you can't cook a fucking salmon. Come on, Giovanni!

Yes, chef.

(interview) Meat is one of my fortes. I definitely had six, seven out of eight without even looking.

Ring the bell, ring the bell. Go for it!

I can't hear that!

Ring the fucking bell!

Seven wrong for blue, let's go.

Holy shit! We're working backwards!

(interview) SETH, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!

Seth's poor performance has set the men back. Now Lacey has a golden opportunity to redeem herself with her team.

Come on, Lacey!

(interview) It's my chance to show my team that I can step up, and that I deserve to be here.

Come on! We can do this!

Move it, Lacey!

(interview) Lacey was just moving things around for the feeling that she was doing something, and you know what, that's no different to how she is in the kitchen.

Six wrong.

Robert has only improved on Seth by one.

(to Lacey) Come on, let's go! Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Okay... (sees that Lacey has placed the "bottom round" label near one of the model cow's front legs) BOTTOM ROUND?! WHAT DOES "BOTTOM" MEAN? One, two, three, four, five, six wrong! Dear oh dear!

It's 30 minutes into dinner service, and Ben is trying to impress Chef Ramsay with his speed.

[bringing some chocolate brownie desserts to the pass] Coming down with desserts. Coming down with desserts.

Unfortunately, having dessert ready before the appetizers is not exactly what Chef Ramsay had in mind.

Dickhead, put them down. [calls entire team] Hey, all of you, come here. Ben's now bringing me a chocolate fucking brownie. [tosses one dessert on the counter] WHAT'S GOING ON?!

(interview) I didn't know what was going on, but he brought up dessert four minutes in. I mean, I've done some stupid shit, but that's embarrassing.

So, let's do it this way, then. There you go. [puts the desserts on the pass] Ben wants to serve the chocolate brownie before we serve the appetizers.

No, chef.

What are you dreaming on?! Are you stupid?!

No, chef.

You've got cheesecake made as well!

Yes, chef.

We've trashed six desserts before we've sent out fucking appetizers!

My fault, chef. (interview) It was my mistake for not exactly knowing Chef Ramsay's terminologies, but fuck me if the words "pick" and "up" don't mean "give you the desserts!"

Have you been drinking or sniffing?

No, chef. No, chef.

Look at me: Go upstairs for a lie-down.

No, no, chef!

Go on, go upstairs for a lie-down. [leads Ben out of the kitchen, then walks away] Useless. Absolutely useless. [a couple of seconds pass, then Ben quickly returns into the kitchen]

Hey, all of you, here! Quickly! There's the filet, yes? Look at the fucking waste. [empties the waste onto the counter; the amount of waste is nearly as big as the remaining filet. Seth looks confused, while the other team members look horrified] That's what he took off, and there's the filet. LOOK AT THE FILET!

(interview) He molested that poor thing! People have gone to jail for worse, but it looked like he went at it with a jackhammer!

We've fucking WASTED the most expensive part! [hurls the offcuts to Seth] LOOK AT IT! What are you going to do, get daddy to buy you a new one? [stops for music to play] How can you do that?

I never butchered a filet before, chef.

Congratulations, you just have.

[smiles] Thanks, yes...

Hey, hey, hey, smartass - not in the right way, you fucking bozo.

Yes, chef. (interview) I don't think I did that bad, butchering that filet, but now I know for next time.

On order, four covers, table three. One scallops, one risotto, one spaghetti, one Caesar.

(to Giovanni) Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon!

Entrées: one Dory, one chicken, one lamb, one wellington.

Right here.

Seth! SETH!

Yes, chef!

Come here! What did I just call out?

[wiping his face with a cloth] I don't know, chef.

No, I know you don't know because you weren't even fucking prepared to listen. No wonder you're struggling.

What is he doing? Hey you, hey you, come here. [takes the cloth from Seth, and looks at him in disgust]

Sorry, chef.

I just watched you wipe your face and then wipe a pan. If this one's for your fucking nose, where's your cooking cloth?

Uh, I'll get one, chef.

[throws the cloth back to Seth] Fuck off, will you?