[Blache flies around the stage in anguish surrounded by red fog and lasers]
[in the audience] Cool! She can fly!
I think it's supposed to symbolize her descent into madness
S4A Streetcar Named Marge
[Closing number]
BBlanche
Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers...
[song begins]
CChorus
You can always depend on the kindness of strangers, to pluck up your spirits, and shield you from dangers.
BBlanche
Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret.
CChorus
[waving good-bye to Blanche as she exits stage right on a motorized streetcar prop]
A stranger's just a friend you haven't met.
You ha-ven't met...
Streetcar!
[The curtain falls on the performance and the audience cheers wildly while giving a standing ovation]
S4Homer the Heretic
[Groundskeeper Willie tries to unfreeze the church doors with a blowtorch.]
How's that door coming, Willie?
Miracles are your department, Reverend.
[God appears in Homer's dream, ripping the roof off his house.]
God ...?
[points finger at Homer] Thou hast forsaken My church!
Well, kind of, but-
But what?!
I'm not a bad guy. I work hard and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell?
[stops himself] Hmm, you've got a point there. [sits beside Homer] Sometimes, even I would rather be watching football. Does St. Louis still have a team?
No, they moved to Phoenix.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I really hate about church? Those boring sermons.
[sighs] I couldn't agree more, that Reverend Lovejoy really displeases me. I think I'll give him a canker sore.
Give him one for me.
I will. [pets Snowball II]
So I figure I should just try to live right and worship You in my own way.
Homer, it's a deal. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to appear in a tortilla in Mexico.
[After Homer's friends save him from his burning house.]
The Lord is vengeful! [falls to his knees] O Spiteful One! Show me who to smite, and they shall be smoten!
[chuckles] Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they came to your aid, be they [points to Ned] Christian, [Krusty] Jew, or [Apu] ...miscellaneous.
AApu
Hindu! There are 700 million of us.
[condescendingly] Aw, that's super.
I was rude to every one of you. And you saved my life when you could've just left me to fry like the proverbial pancake that I am.
Aw, Homer! I'm so glad to hear you say that.
S4Lisa the Beauty Queen
Scott, everyone is here from the Mayor's illegitimate son to our own [camera focuses up] Duff blimp.
[aboard the Duff blimp] Hi. Can I drive?
PPilot
Well, I can't see the harm.
[Barney crashes the blimp into a nearby radio tower, causing the blimp to burst into flames.]
[looks away] Oh, the humanity! Anyway, to turn on the store's severe tire damage spikes, here's Little Miss Springfield.
But it does seem the father of the deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under "Do not write in this space," he wrote "Okay."
[Homer and Lisa watch at home]
If it wasn't for me, you'd still be queen. You must hate me.
Dad, do you remember why you entered me in that pageant?
I dunno. Was I drunk?
Possibly. But the point is, you wanted me to feel better about myself. And I do.
Really?
Uh-huh.
Will you remember this the next time I wreck your life?
It's a deal.
[They hug]
S4Treehouse of Horror III
[First lines]
[impersonating Alfred Hitchcock] Good evening. [normally] I've been asked to tell you that the following show is very scary, with stuff that might give your kids nightmares. You see, there are some crybabies out there - religious types, mostly - who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to turn off your set now. Come on, I dare you! [clucks, flaps his arms] Chicken!
[suddenly, the screen goes out. In darkness, a white dot is visible; offscreen] Hey!
[Footstep sounds heard]
[offscreen] Homer, did you just call everyone "chicken"?
[offscreen] No. I swear on this Bible.
[offscreen] That's not a Bible, that's a book of carpet samples!
[The white dot disappears slowly]
[offscreen] Ooh...fuzzy.
Do you sell toys?
SShopkeeper
We sell forbidden objects from places men dare to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt.
Well, I need something for my son's birthday.
SShopkeeper
Ah, perhaps this will please the gentleman. [picks up a Krusty the Clown doll] Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse.
[worried] Ooooh, that's bad...
SShopkeeper
But it comes with a free frogurt!
[relieved] That's good!
SShopkeeper
The frogurt is also cursed.
[worried] That's bad...
SShopkeeper
But you get your choice of topping.
[relieved] That's good!
SShopkeeper
The toppings contain potassium benzoate. [Homer stares] That's bad.
Can I go now?
[Homer runs naked across the kitchen, trying to escape the Krusty the Clown doll and pass by Marge, Patty, and Selma, who are having lunch. Patty and Selma stare, wide-eyed, then lower their eyelids in disgust as they put down their forks]
There goes the last, lingering thread of my heterosexuality.
KDKrusty Doll Repair Guy
Yep, here's your problem. Someone set this thing to "evil".
[now a zombie] Hey Simpson, I'm feeling a might peckish! Mind if I chew your ear?
[Homer shoots Flanders]
Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
[quizzically] He was a zombie?
S4Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie
Now, be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.
What are we gonna have?
Well that depends on what your teachers say. If both of you have been good, pizza. If you've been bad, um...let's see, poison.
What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?
Poison pizza.
Oh no, I'm not making two stops.
Gee, maybe they mean it this time. From now on, I guess I'd better straighten up and fly--
[opens Bart's bedroom door as he carrying a pizza box] Bart. Don't tell your mother, but I brought you some pizza. Just promise me you'll try to be good.
I promise.
That-a-boy. [leaves and closes Bart's bedroom door]
[eating his pizza, chuckling] Sucker.
[sings Jingle Bells while hammering on a mustard packets into the carpet]
[angrily catches Bart] Bart! Why are you doing that?
I don't know.
Well, this time you must be punished!
Well, you could punish me, but--
No tricks, boy. I said I'm gonna punish you. And come hell or high water, I-- [he hears a ice cream truck] Wait a minute! [gasps] Ice cream truck! [runs out of the house and shoves children out of his way to get a ice cream] Me! Me! I was here first!
[Scene changes where Homer and Bart are sitting on a curb eating a ice cream outside of their house]
Mmm. Now, what were we talking about, boy?
Uh, we were talking about the time you beat jury duty.
Oh, yeah. The trick is... to say you're prejudiced against all races.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.