The Simpsons · Season 30
Hey, Martin Princess. If you like that cello so much, why don't you marry it?
No heckling!
Way to crush him, sir.
Hey, Skinner! If you like Chalmers so much, why don't you marry him?
Well, as the superintendent, he's married to all the principals.
Thank you. You've made the anniversary of my wife's death even more depressing.
She loves me, she loves me not. Oh, why do I always use flowers with two pedals?
I'm turning my back on you. [does a 360] Hi, Bart!
'My husband is a collaborator!'
'Well I've got a screenplay I've been looking for someone to help me write.'
'Not zat kind.'
'If I just get something on the page, that's progress.'
Fools! This whole contest was a ruse! [Homer then yelps after being grabbed by two Fogburyport citizens] You are here to be sacrifice to an evil god from the ocean depths.
SpongeBob?
No! To the eternal lord of horror, Cthulhu!
An eating contest against the monstrous Cthulhu? To him, the Great Barrier Reef is just an average barrier reef.
Well, my dad didn't eat breakfast.
Uh-oh.
Ho-ho. One Sumatran Breeding Rat, already in labor.
[opens Bart's bedroom door, sternly] You paid for mail-order rats when your grandfather's nursing home is full of them? [the scene changes to the kitchen] All right, boy. I'm gonna find out just what you've been up to. [switches the light off, turns the torch on, Marge enters the kitchen and switches the light on]
[gulps] Oh, Mom, thank god.
[switches the light off, turns the torch on, hand it to Homer] This one's brighter. [to Bart] Now talk. What are you up to? All right, we'll make you talk. Give me your phone.
I'm putting on pants for this!
I come bearing the thing you journalists hate most. News.
This is Kent Brockman. I'm here with three local blue-collar men who voted for Trump. How do you feel now?
Please stop interviewing us.
Never!
You were sleeping like teacher.
Oh, Ralph. I'm deceiving all the people I love, and it's so exciting.
Lies are like stars... they always come out.
Oh, my God, that's really profound.
I have five face holes!
[yells at Bart] You do not say suck at the dinner table!
But veggie loaf does suck. It sucks a whole truck full of butts.
You leave trucks out of this.
Diddly? They can't say that on TV.
[inside the lobster tank] I'm expensive!
While the children are bouncing around why we don't do a little bouncing too.
That it's even more romantic than what you said at quarter backs.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
