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S4

The Simpsons · Season 4

“Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie” quotes from The Simpsons

4 quotes

“Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie” · Season 4

In this episode: Homer Simpson (4), Bart Simpson (4), Marge Simpson (1), Lisa Simpson (1)

Now, be good for Grampa while we're at the parent-teacher meeting. We'll bring back dinner.

What are we gonna have?

Well that depends on what your teachers say. If both of you have been good, pizza. If you've been bad, um...let's see, poison.

What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?

Poison pizza.

Oh no, I'm not making two stops.

Gee, maybe they mean it this time. From now on, I guess I'd better straighten up and fly--

[opens Bart's bedroom door as he carrying a pizza box] Bart. Don't tell your mother, but I brought you some pizza. Just promise me you'll try to be good.

I promise.

That-a-boy. [leaves and closes Bart's bedroom door]

[eating his pizza, chuckling] Sucker.

[sings Jingle Bells while hammering on a mustard packets into the carpet]

[angrily catches Bart] Bart! Why are you doing that?

I don't know.

Well, this time you must be punished!

Well, you could punish me, but--

No tricks, boy. I said I'm gonna punish you. And come hell or high water, I-- [he hears a ice cream truck] Wait a minute! [gasps] Ice cream truck! [runs out of the house and shoves children out of his way to get a ice cream] Me! Me! I was here first!

[Scene changes where Homer and Bart are sitting on a curb eating a ice cream outside of their house]

Mmm. Now, what were we talking about, boy?

Uh, we were talking about the time you beat jury duty.

Oh, yeah. The trick is... to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Someday you'll thank me for this, son.

Not bloody likely.

No, it's true. When I was a boy, I wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed and hit my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

Dad, what's the point of this story?

I like stories.

Look, can I please go to the movie?

I know my punishment may seem a little harsh, but I can't go back on it. You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV.

TV sucks.

[low, angry voice] I know you're upset right now, so I'll pretend you didn't say that.

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