[Groundskeeper Willie tries to unfreeze the church doors with a blowtorch.]
How's that door coming, Willie?
Miracles are your department, Reverend.
“Homer the Heretic” · Season 4
In this episode: Homer Simpson (2), Reverend Timothy Lovejoy (2), Marge Simpson (1), Ned Flanders (1), Apu Nahasapeemapetilon (1), Groundskeeper Willie (1), God (1)
[God appears in Homer's dream, ripping the roof off his house.]
God ...?
[points finger at Homer] Thou hast forsaken My church!
Well, kind of, but-
But what?!
I'm not a bad guy. I work hard and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell?
[stops himself] Hmm, you've got a point there. [sits beside Homer] Sometimes, even I would rather be watching football. Does St. Louis still have a team?
No, they moved to Phoenix.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I really hate about church? Those boring sermons.
[sighs] I couldn't agree more, that Reverend Lovejoy really displeases me. I think I'll give him a canker sore.
Give him one for me.
I will. [pets Snowball II]
So I figure I should just try to live right and worship You in my own way.
Homer, it's a deal. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to appear in a tortilla in Mexico.
[After Homer's friends save him from his burning house.]
The Lord is vengeful! [falls to his knees] O Spiteful One! Show me who to smite, and they shall be smoten!
[chuckles] Homer, God didn't set your house on fire.
No, but He was working in the hearts of your friends and neighbors when they came to your aid, be they [points to Ned] Christian, [Krusty] Jew, or [Apu] ...miscellaneous.
AApu
Hindu! There are 700 million of us.
[condescendingly] Aw, that's super.
I was rude to every one of you. And you saved my life when you could've just left me to fry like the proverbial pancake that I am.
Aw, Homer! I'm so glad to hear you say that.
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