A character in The Simpsons
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
The Simpsons · 3,477 quotes
In 54 of the 3,477 quotes from The Simpsons
Most scenes with: Homer Simpson (26), Marge Simpson (7), Bart Simpson (5)
[Apu is replenishing the hot dog roller, unaware the camera in the hat is filming him. He drops one on the floor, it rolls towards the hat, and we get a wretched close-up of the wiener]
Oh, it is encrusted with filth. [blows it] Oh, well, let's sell it anyway. Now this is just between me and you, smashed hat. [he winks right into the camera]
That [the Kwik-E-Mart] is the sight of my spiritual de-pantsing.
Come one, come all! See the amazing frozen man! Also gaze at the Frito found in a bag of Doritos! Marvel at the floor that just won't come clean!
[After getting shot in manhunt, Apu is reincarnated into a rabbit]
Ha, ha! You can't kill a Hindu!
[Hops away, and then gets his tail caught in a bear trap.]
AGH! Help me, Jesus!
Apu is dead! He has been reincarnated as this cat.
[Homer and Moe gasp]
Ha! You have just been Apu'd!
You have made a very powerless enemy.
And America has so many enemies. Iran, Iraq, China, Mordor, the hoochies that laid low Tiger Woods, undesirable immigrants - by which I mean everyone that came after me, including my children...
The hot dogs spin counter clockwise in fear when you arrive.
What.
Convenience forever, freshness never!
This stereotype will no longer be a troublesome potato in your spicy vindaloo!
Quick & Fresh? Who spells "quick" with a "Q"?
[Homer pays a visit to the Kwik-E-Mart, after he has unknowingly become famous from his photo with Princess Kashmir being posted all over town]
One glazed, and one Scratch-'N-Win, please.
You look familiar, sir. Are you on the television or something?
Sorry, buddy. You got me confused with Fred Flintstone. [chuckles; Apu hands him his lottery ticket and he starts to scratch it off] Oh. Liberty Bell. [scratches some more and gasps] Another Liberty Bell! One more and I'm a millionaire. Come on, Liberty Bell, please, please, please, please, please, please! [scratches to reveal a plum] D'oh! That purple fruit thing. Where were you yesterday?
What's the matter, sir? Never have I seen you look so unhappy while purchasing such a large quantity of ice cream.
The reason I look unhappy is that tonight I have to see a slideshow starring my wife's sisters. Or as I call them "The Gruesome Twosome."
[Homer and Apu chuckles. Homer turns around to head back to the car and accidentally steps on Sideshow Bob's foot]
[disguised as Krusty] Ow! My foot, you lousy stupid clumsy...!!!
Sorry, pal. [gasps in horror when he notices Krusty holding a handgun and dives head first into a potato chip display]
[disguised as Krusty and drawing his gun at Apu] Hand over all your money in a paper bag!
Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know. [hands over a paper bag after which Krusty flees] You can emerge now from my chips. [Homer peaks his head] The opportunity to prove yourself a hero is long gone.
[Homer gasps with relief]
[Everyone leaves Homer's house after the fight ends.]
Quite a donnybrook, eh, Mr. Burns?
Balderdash! Why, I once watched "Gentleman" Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo fellow bare-knuckled for a hundred and thirteen rounds! Of course, back then, if a fight lasted less than fifty rounds, we demanded our nickel back!
Homer SimpsonDan Castellaneta · 1,595 quotes
Bart SimpsonNancy Cartwright · 792 quotes
Marge SimpsonJulie Kavner · 677 quotes
Lisa SimpsonYeardley Smith · 585 quotes
MSMoe Szyslak164 quotes
Mr. BurnsHarry Shearer · 140 quotes
Ned FlandersHarry Shearer · 107 quotes
MVMilhouse Van Houten97 quotes
Krusty the ClownDan Castellaneta · 81 quotes
NMNelson Muntz79 quotes
WSWaylon Smithers73 quotes
Chief WiggumHank Azaria · 72 quotes
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