[checks his watch] Uh oh. Here comes the evening rush. Clear out fellas! [Hordes of mice run out of the bar as Homer, Barney, Lenny, Carl, and the two barflies walk in]
Yeah, I know, I know, but the bad news is we gotta start having designated drivers. [the regulars moan and groan] We'll choose the same way they pick the Pope. [sets a giant glass jar with pickled eggs floating in it on the table] Everybody reach in and draw a pickled egg. Whoever gets the black egg stays sober tonight.
They gave me a choice: jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady. Of course, if I knew there was a war going on, I probably would have apologized.
[In Armin's apartment, the ex-principal lies on his bed while his visitors stand around him trying to convince him to come home. Armin refuses as they got the real Seymour Skinner.]
AArmin
My mind is made up! I'm not coming back and that's final!
Yes, you can. This is Armin's life, and maybe it's not perfect, but at least I'm back where I belong. I was born a no-goodnik, and I'll die a no-goodnik.
You are my real son! You've been my son longer than he has, and he doesn't need me, and I don't need him! Now you march yourself downstairs and get in that car!
