The Simpsons · Season 35
So, since Otto has disappeared with our bus, and our brownie pans, parents will have to drive their own children to school.
[parents complain]
Well, fewer of you would have to drive if you sat down and arranged a carpool schedule.
[parents complain harder]
Homer, you just volunteered.
Dear god. No. Stop. Yield.
Well, he's got the lingo down. This guy's a natural.
God bless that saintly doughball. That's it, I'm giving Springfield's crossing guards an actual budget. Not for self-serving political reasons, but because I'm a man of people who wants to do good in the world.
Perhaps, but on the other hand... [Burps at Lisa in her face, then laughs]
Ugh. Mom!
Gotcha!
Bart, say excuse me.
Must hammer nails.
Attention, shoppers. A mother's love is forever, but mother's love rat poison is only on sale till the end of the day.
We have to meet the new neighbors before they hear about us from the old neighbors.
Hey, I have friends in this neighborhood. There's the guy whose lawn I used as a shortcut, the guy whose mailbox crashed into our car, and Mrs. Bad Halloween candy.
If my candy is so bad, why do you take so much of it?
[Krusty laughs]
Yarr!
Uh, yes!
Howdily-doodily. I brought bibles for the new arrivals.
Hey, Chief, aren't you going to pull him over?
Really? In this dodge charger with 260,000 miles, with a catalytic converter that's being stolen as we speak.
Gotcha!
So you want me to talk about Persephone Odair? That's easy. She was a brilliant entrepreneur who wanted to save the world. How I wish that was her only shortcoming.
Our FOMO. It's gone.
The NFT craze is over!
Wait, did you only asked me to sing to forestall your gruesome end?
Guilty as charged.
I'm sorry for the imbroglio, but if the chef de cuisine insists on calling it Taco Tuesdays, he can't very well serve flautas and expect us not to make a fuss.
Hello, Bob.
H-how did you get in here?
Well, I knew if I killed enough people in the most gruesome possible ways, they'd send me to your prison. But to get into your cell, I had a little help.
[The security guard is revealed to be Maggie Simpson]
Lisa the killer? I never thought you had it in you.
[slicks back her hair] The Lisa you knew? Didn't. [musses it up again] But I'm another story!
Oho, really? Split personalities? Trope alert! Call the first thought police!
[scene shows Lisa killing her victims] Professor Lisa had no idea she was my accomplice. [scene changes back to the present] But she's gone now. She was my last victim. Or rather, [takes a knife, grinning menacingly] second to last.
The penultimate! [Bob steps onto a rake and it whacks him. He grumbles.]
[Lisa turns on the gramophone. He is an Englishman from H.M.S Pinafore begins to play and Lisa dances along with it, until turning her attention back to Bob. She menacingly approaches Bob with a knife. Scene goes outside the cell, as Lisa kills Bob, while Maggie chills next to the cell door.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
