When I look at people, I don't see colors; I just see crackpot religions.
S25Homerland
He's like a husband in a widow's memory, perfect.
Bart, why is the dad I've always wished for creeping me out?
I don't know, 'cause you're incapable of experiencing joy?
Point taken.
You have some big underpants to fill. I didn't know they made underoos in size 52.
They're called superoos, son, with pictures of the cast of The Expendables.
More like The Expandables.
I'm not sure man who eats right and doesn't drink can be good in bed.
Oh, I've been listening to this song for three days, and it's only the end of the first verse!
S25Treehouse of Horror XXIV
Marge, they knew what they were getting into when their parents sold them to the circus.
I don't hand out candy, you son of a Grinch.
HFHomer/The Fat In The Hat
Now hop on my cycle, there's nothing to fear. And we shall have candy...and maybe some beer.
HFHomer/The Fat In The Hat
[his dying words after Maggie stabs him] I'm frightened of nothing/Not even hellfire/Just don't ever let me be played by Mike Myers.
S25Four Regrettings and a Funeral
So, is there truly anyone among us without regrets?
I have no regrets.
Really, Mother?
Oh, I didn't see you there.
Speaking of return on investments, my Apple stock is up 3,500%.
Aw, you misheard that on purpose!
Why are you doing this, Bart?
50% attention-seeking, 50% to drop things on people.
He's gonna visit my sky granny.
RRafael
[to Homer] That's a ball-proof window, sir. Would you like me to ask Siri for a nearby hospital?
SSiri
[to Rafael] I'm sorry, I don't see any "hops petals" near you. Deleting all contact information.
RRafeal
No, no, I didn't ask you to do that, Siri. I...
SSiri
Delete confirmed.
Pray for a miracle, boy. God can hear you better from up there.
[Pray to God] Dear Lord, please help me land safely. Or transform this basket into a flying killer robot that I control with my mind. Amen.
That's not a prayer.
My God says it is.
It's all my fault. I should never have listened to those KISS albums when I was pregnant.
[to Marge] Marge, with all due respect, that's ridiculous. My Sarah listened to Mozart and Churchill speeches when she was pregnant with Ralphie, and he can't even open a refrigerator.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.