The Simpsons · Season 29
[Marge cooks food for her family]
Aw, water soup again?
[Marge knocks out a three eyed crow and adds it to the soup]
Now, it's crow soup.
Ooh, I call an eye!
Me too!
Me three!
And Maggie gets the break.
[Marge plucks the beak out and gives it to Maggie]
Aaaeeey! Uh-Ah!
[Maggie uses the beak as a passy and sucks on it]
Lousy nobles. We serfs are starving, while they're feasting and jousting and posing for tapestries, where they're friends with a unicorn. As if any unicorn would like them. Unicorns like nice people. I'm a nice person.
[Homer pokes his father's spider web, looking for his mother-in-law's]
Son, is that you?
No.
Isn't this great,baby alone time. Where's Maggie’s Peek-a-boo.
Well, what do you think of my late pick-up room?
It's wonderful, hard to believe it's the same room they found all those dead rats in.
Maggie, you can whistle? [she gasps surprisingly at Maggie's talent.] you're gifted too, maybe more gifted!
No one ever wants the apple. They must be afraid there's a razor blade in me.
[sarcastic] Yeah, THAT'S the reason.
[Homer eats a living chocolate bunny, who screams in pain]
Daaaad! I can't listen to this horror!
Okay, I'm onto it.
[Homer bites the mouth off]
Thank you.
Maggie, sweetie. You should be in bed.
[Maggie is revealed to be possessed by Pazuzu]
No one leaves alive!
Ooooh, her first words!
Someone's starting their terrible twos. [chuckles]
Someone's having an affair with his nurse!
[Bernice glares at Hibbert, who quickly takes out a thermometer]
Say "Ahh!"
Aaaahhhh-DULTERER!
[possessed] I am Pazuzu, demon of the southwest wind!
Wait, wait, so you're not even as powerful as the south wind or the west wind? How lame is that?
I used to be very important. Google it!
[Introducing the final story, "MMM... Homer"]
What you're about to see is so disgusting, you'll watch Game of Thrones to calm down. You have been warned!
She's completely cooked. Unlike the children she brought to the potluck.
Oh, Helen is a bitter as the lemonade she brought to the potluck. What a terrible potluck that was.
Why wasn't this a town hall event? I like to see them balance on the stools.
Marge, can you cook a Hot Pocket in the dryer?
Homer Simpson, the only time you shut your mouth is to keep food inside!
Well, here's $400, and screw you.
Wow. I finally found my path in life: socio.
Why you little --
I'm not little. I'm 20, and I live at home.
Why you disappointing --
You know, you're choking someone who can vote.
But did you vote?
No.
Why you little --
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
