DMDennis Miller Ultra-House Voice
Hey, cha-cha, I got more features than a NASA relief map of Turkmenistan.
Lisa (scared): Isn't that the voice that caused all these suicides?
Marge (happily): Murder-suicides!
S13Treehouse of Horror XII
Ah, Ethnictown. Where hard-working immigrants dream of becoming lazy, overfed Americans.
UUltrahouse
[in Pierce Brosnan's voice]: Homer! No!
I'm gonna enjoy this. [removes the Ultrahouse's chips]
UUltrahouse
Don't take out my British charm unit! Without that, I'm nothing but a boorish American clod! [Homer removes the chip, which happens to be said unit; speaks in an American accent] Ahh, thanks a lot, asswipe! [voice starts to die down] I oughta kick your butt from here to Albuquerque, you fat... slime... bucket!
Awww, we're all out of milk.
[takes wand out] Abraca dairy. [milk appears out of thin air and pours into Bart's cereal]
[rushes in] Kids, it's 8 o'-clock! You're gonna miss the bus to wizards' school.
[points wand at clock] Five minutes more-ious. [clock goes back five minutes]
[annoyed]: Hmm. That's not good for the clock.
[Attempting to save Lisa from "Lord Montymort" by using her wand] Prank be undone. Destroy the evil one! [He is struck by lightning] Not me.
Hey! Flanders gave us toothpaste!
Lisa (as she looks in her trick-or-treat bag too): Mini-toothpaste!
Homer (smashes a cylindrical machine in the basement with an ax): Die, you monster!
Dad, that's the water softener.
Well, I am missing the back of my head. I think you can cut me some slack!
S13The Parent Rap
Silence in my courtroom! [reads docket] Grand theft auto?
It was an accident, ma'am.
Don't spit on my cupcake and tell me it's frosting!
I don't mean to be disrespectful, Judge Harm, but we are not bad parents. And there isn't a tether in this world with enough fiber optics to make me say that we are. (Judge Harm contemplates Marge's sentiment. Smash cut to Homer and Marge walking out, chained up in stocks): She's such a butthole.
Bartholomew Simpson, I am sentencing you to 5 years in juvenile hall. [Raises her gavel as the family gasps, suddenly Harm's gavel is taken from her] Huh?
[Holding the gavel] Well, I'm back from my vacation.
[tries to complain] But I was about to pound the gavel, making the sentence official!
[cuts her off] Sorry, but I put my clown down. [Gesturing to his clown knickknack on the bench]
[tries to complain again] But, I was going to--
JSJudge Synder
[cuts her off again] The clown is down.
Ugh! [Storms off]
S13Homer the Moe
MMoe
Ah, who am I kidding. I ain't smiled for real since I nailed that rat with the icepick. Heh. Remember that?
That was an amazing throw.
FFormico
I am Formico, the Dean of design.
Hi Formico!
FFormico
Uh uh uh, my name must never be spoken.
Sorry. :to Moe: He seems nice!
Model (In a Russian accent): Ever since Chernobyl, my penis is falling off.
MMoe
And "penis" is Russian for?
[As guards come to throw Homer out of Moe's newly-modernized tavern]
I'll throw myself out, thank you.
[He grabs his shirt collar, yanks himself toward the front door, and tosses himself to the street]
I believe I had a hat.
[Someone throws him a hat]
Suckers! [Runs away laughing]
(Homer, Lenny, Carl and Barney are singing along to the tune of 'I Love Rock 'n' Roll' by Joan Jett)
I won't drink at Moe's!
Homer's old garage is all I need!
I won't drink at Moe's...
'Cause Moe's a big jerk and a she-male too!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.