Now let's enjoy the Miami of Canada -- Chicago!
S19He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs
CColby
Okay Homer, I don't know anything about planes, but I know about you. You have what made America great: no understanding of the limits of your power and a complete lack of concern for what anyone thinks of you. So you'll land that plane. And do you know why? Because I heard some guy say you couldn't.
What! I'll show him. I'll show that guy!
What are you doing? You don't know how to fly a plane!
I once drove a car off a cliff. How hard can it be? Hmm..., what's the ocean doing in the sky?
S19The Homer of Seville
That church service was so boring! I did a whole book of find-a-words.
Dad, all you circled were the I's and A's.
Those are words.
[In the dressing room, after Homer's first opera performance]
Dad, you were great!
And you contributed to our culture!
[worried] Well, I didn't mean to.
No, no, it's a good thing.
Oh, good. This makes up for me showing up drunk to the father-daughter dance.
The dance isn't 'til next week.
Sorry, Lisa. Can't change the future.
Homer, you have a mild back sprain. And you also ingested a dangerous quantity of grave dirt.
Well, you're always telling me that I should eat more dirt.
Not dirt, vegetables!
...Which grow in what?
That doesn't sound like Homer's usual annoyed grunt.
D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Stu-stu-stu-stupid Flanders.
Why the crescendo, my old friendo.
Get lost, you waste of mustache!
Okey dokley.
S19Midnight Towboy
When you married a man who would years later, without warning, become a tow-truck driver, you knew what the deal would eventually be.
There must be a website that can help you deal with a clingy baby.
Oh, I don’t want to bother the internet with my problem.
Aw, come on, Mom. We’ll help you surf.
[Marge sits down at the computer, grabs the mouse and starts clicking away]
Click that one, Mom.
No, go up.
Keep going--up, up, up!
The blue ones are ads.
That’s the toolbar.
No you’ve opened Word; close it!
Close it. Do-don’t save it!
Stop clicking.
Don’t go there!
Why are you buying a freezer?!
Don’t click the cart or you’ve bought it!
Aw, you clicked the cart!
[Upset] If you’re so smart, you do it!
[Bart pushes one button and finds a baby website]
[Groans]
When you call in sick, who do you call?
I don't call in sick, I work when I wanna.
Sometimes you want to work?
[Homer decides to become a tow truck driver]
Now just remember two rules. One, stick to Springfield. If I ever catch you on my turf, I’ll rip off your head, then I'll vomit down your neck, pull out your heart, show it to your head, and shove ‘em both down your neck hole, to which I previously alluded.
[Homer tries to jot everything down]
[Mumbling] "...which I previously alluded." Are there two "L’s" in "alluded"?
[Chuckles] I guess I'm more powerful than God now.
You know what they say: "With great power comes great responsibility."
Who said that?! I'll kill them with my power!
[The parking situation has regressed to pandemonium in Homer's absence]
[The Duff blimp lands in a school zone that forbids parking]
Captain McCallister [illegally parked in his boat across from the blimp]: Avast, ye sky whale! [He fires his harpoon gun at the blimp, causing it to rapidly deflate] Hooooo-har-har-haaargh!
Bart, I'm starting to worry about your father.
Well, I know he seems to get dumber every year, but lately he's plateaued.
Oh, my God multiple parking tickets, handicapped spot, parked by a hydrant, incomprehensible vanity plate. If my life as a tow truck driver was a teleplay, this would be the end of act 2.
I thought I told you to stay off my turf.
What? I'm still in Springfield. Wha...?! Okay, I made a mistake. Why don't you give me two demerit points in a point system we work out right now? Put me down, you lousy-- Okay, I'm warning you--I'll kill you, you son of a...--All right buddy, that's it, I've had-- You... let go! All right, Just... let... go. Oh, a trap door. What's down there? Your Meatball collection?
Goodbye
I thought we were friends! I was kidding you in a friendly fashion!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.