LSLlewelyn Sinclair
Hello! I am Llewelyn Sinclair! I have directed three plays in my career and I have had three heart attacks. That's how much I care, I am planning for a fourth.
Hmm, maybe I should have taken a nice calligraphy class.
Oh, forget it, that Mr. Takahashi's a lunatic.
LSLlewelyn Sinclair
Quiet!
LSLlewelyn Sinclair
I'm not an easy man to work for. While directing Hats Off to Chanukkah, I reduced more than one cast member to tears. Did I expect too much from fourth-graders? The review "Play enjoyed by all"... [holds up an elementary school newspaper with said headline] speaks for itself.
Are there any jive-talking robots in this play?
Bart, don't ask stupid questions. [to Marge] Is there any frontal nudity?
[Back in Springfield Community Center]
My name is Helen Lovejoy. I'm been playing Stella.
I am Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. I played Steve.
My name is Otto! I'm playing Pablo!
Lionel Hutz, attorney at law. I'm filing a class-action suit against the director on behalf of everyone who was cut from the play. I also play Mitch!
I'm Marge Simpson. I'm played Blanche. I'm make some peanut butter brownies for anyone.
[Opening number of "Oh, Streetcar!"]
[The curtain rises revealing Chief Wiggum standing in front of a set resembling the New Orleans Superdome
CWChief Wiggum as chorus member
Long before the Superdome,
Where the Saints of football play,
There’s a city that the damned call home,
Hear their hellish rondelet...
[The set rotates revealing a New Orleans street set surrounded by the other chorus members]
CMChorus members
New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks, and whores,
New Orleans!
Tacky, overpriced souvenir stores,
If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip,
To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip'
New Orleans!
Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile,
New Orleans!
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul,
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid and rank,
New Orleans!
[Introduction of Blanche DuBois played by Marge]
HLHelen Lovejoy as Stella
[To Blanche] [In a New Orleans accent] What's the matter, honey? Are you lost?
MAMarge as Blanche
[In a New Orleans accent] I'm looking for my sister, Stella.
[In the audience] It's mom!
[Homer, Bart and Maggie look up to see Marge is now on stage]
BBlanche
My name is Blanche DuBois.
[singing] I thought my life would be a Mardi Gras...
A never-ending party... [pause] Ha!
I'm a faded Southern dame without a dime...
Apu as Steve the paperboy I am collecting for the evening star.
BBlanche
Come here, I wanna kiss you just once... softly and sweetly...on your mouth...
[singing] I am just a simple paperboy, no romance do I seek..
I just wanted forty cents, for my deliveries last week...
Will this bewitching floozy...
Seduce this humble newsie?
Oh, what's a paperboy to... doooooo?
[Blanche kisses him] Woo-hoo!
["Stanley's torment" musical number]
NANed as Stanley
[yelling] Stella! STELLLAAAA!
[singing] Can't you hear me YELLA!
You're puttin' me through HELLA! Stella... STELLLAAAA!
[Closing number]
BBlanche
Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers...
[song begins]
CChorus
You can always depend on the kindness of strangers, to pluck up your spirits, and shield you from dangers.
BBlanche
Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret.
CChorus
[waving good-bye to Blanche as she exits stage right on a motorized streetcar prop]
A stranger's just a friend you haven't met.
You ha-ven't met...
Streetcar!
[The curtain falls on the performance and the audience cheers wildly while giving a standing ovation]
