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SEASON 22

The Simpsons · Season 22

The Simpsons Season 22 quotes

96 quotes · page 1 of 7

S22Elementary School Musical

I finally found a place I belong.

Your week's up! Time to go home.

[gasps] It can't be Saturday already! [checks camera] Monday was orientation. Tuesday, we did mime. Wednesday, we did Mame. Thursday, we got attacked by bees. Friday morning, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Elaine Stritch helped us make wallets. Friday evening, we performed Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes. Part 1: Millennium Approaches. Part 2...

Perestroika?

That's right! Strike the set, pizza party, Sunday morning and then-- [gasps] Nooooo!

Goodbye, Lisa! I'll miss you a lot! Then a little! Then not too much!

What's the matter, Lisa? You're usually the first one out of this death trap.

The arctic circle, or as I long to call it, my wife's side of the bed. For the purposes of that joke I'm married.

Look, I'm really sorry about all the things I've been charged with, as well as all the stuff you don't know about yet.

S22Loan-a Lisa

I just paid some idiot 50 bucks to walk up the down escalator all day. [scene cuts to Gil walking up the down escalator]

S22MoneyBART

Fine, you can be our coach.

Thanks. You can be the free safety.

Wrong sport.

I mean, the point guard.

Also wrong.

I'm gonna do a little research.

A little is not gonna be enough, honey pie.

Don't call me "honey pie".

You got it, tootsie pop.

[grunts]

Get a room, you two.

We're brother and sister.

So are my parents, I think.

Bart, this guy has walked the last two batters, and if he walks you, we win the game. Don't swing at anything.

But I'm on a hot streak!

Hot streaks are a statistical illusion!

I wish you were a statistical illusion.

Well, there's a 97% chance I'm not, so do what I say!

You made me love baseball. Not as a collection of numbers, but as an unpredictable, passionate game, beaten in excitement only by every other sport.

S22Treehouse of Horror XXI

[thinking he fast forwarded the entire episode with his remote] Oh, I went too far. I've spoiled the whole show for everybody. I don't deserve to wield the remote.

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