I finally found a place I belong.
Your week's up! Time to go home.
[gasps] It can't be Saturday already! [checks camera] Monday was orientation. Tuesday, we did mime. Wednesday, we did Mame . Thursday, we got attacked by bees. Friday morning, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Elaine Stritch helped us make wallets. Friday evening, we performed Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes . Part 1: Millennium Approaches . Part 2...
That's right! Strike the set, pizza party, Sunday morning and then-- [gasps] Nooooo!
Goodbye, Lisa! I'll miss you a lot! Then a little! Then not too much!
I don't wanna get stuck behind the joggers from the fat camp.
What's the matter, Lisa? You're usually the first one out of this death trap.
Lisa, please stick to the illegally Xeroxed sheet music.
Can my son come too? He knows what to do when I swallow my tongue.
The arctic circle, or as I long to call it, my wife's side of the bed. For the purposes of that joke I'm married.
Look, I'm really sorry about all the things I've been charged with, as well as all the stuff you don't know about yet.
S22 Loan-a Lisa
I just paid some idiot 50 bucks to walk up the down escalator all day. [scene cuts to Gil walking up the down escalator]
Fine, you can be our coach.
Thanks. You can be the free safety.
I'm gonna do a little research.
A little is not gonna be enough, honey pie.
Don't call me "honey pie".
We're brother and sister.
So are my parents, I think.
Bart, this guy has walked the last two batters, and if he walks you, we win the game. Don't swing at anything.
Hot streaks are a statistical illusion!
I wish you were a statistical illusion.
Well, there's a 97% chance I'm not, so do what I say!
Managers manage, and players play.
You made me love baseball. Not as a collection of numbers, but as an unpredictable, passionate game, beaten in excitement only by every other sport.
[thinking he fast forwarded the entire episode with his remote] Oh, I went too far. I've spoiled the whole show for everybody. I don't deserve to wield the remote.
It's just a game. We're not really hurting anybody. [accidentally hits Milhouse in the eye with controller]
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .