That hilarious footage was shot by local hunter, Grant Connor - not with a gun, but with a camera!
GCGrant Conner
That's right, Kent. I often get guns and cameras confused. One time, tragically, at a wedding...
S15 E5The Fat and the Furriest
[After developing a fear of bears, Homer gets scared by a teddy bear and knocks down a bookshelf; the books fall all over him, and he looks through their front covers]
[scared] The Bear Went Over the Mountain?! The Berenstain Bears?! [relaxing] Oh, Goldilocks... [scared again] AND THE THREE BEARS!
[He flees into the kitchen, sliding across the table and finding himself faced with bear-themed groceries]
Oh god, they're in our food! Teddy Grahams! Gummy bears!
[He hallucinates Winnie-the-Pooh, Paddington Bear, Smokey Bear, the Chicago Bears and others marching towards him, to the tune of "The Teddy Bears' Picnic"]
Are you a Care Bear?
CBCare Bear
[wielding a crowbar] I'm an Intensive Care Bear.
Why does a bear need a crowbar?
CBCare Bear
[shrugs] Eh, I don't like to get my hands dirty.
Dad, you can't take revenge on an animal. That's the whole point of Moby-Dick.
Lisa, the point of Moby-Dick is be yourself!
You're sneaking off to fight that bear. I wanna go too!
No way. If something happens to me, you have to carry on the Simpson name.
Screw that! When I grow up, I'm legally changing my name to Joe Kickass!
That is so cool! Okay, you can come.
S15 E6Today I am A Clown
[A shot of a broken-down trailer. In front, a sign reads "FOX Network World Headquarters." Inside, Krusty the Clown has a meeting with Fox executives]
Well, since I'm fresh out of options, I guess all that is left is for me to get a show on... [groans in frustration] Fox. What do you say?
EExecutive
I don't know...
Oh, come on, you guys are famous for taking a chance on useless crap!
I Think Your Water Just Broke.
PWPregnant woman
Will you be quiet?
[Krusty is infuriated, because he doesn't have a star on the Jewish walk of fame]
Why don't I have a star?! I'm much better than... (squints) Chaim Potok?! What is he, a Klingon?!
Welcome to the Homer Simpson Show. I'm your host... next card... Homer Simpson. It's great to be here in... next card... Springfield.
S15 E7Tis the Fifteenth Season
Now in the spirit of the holiday season, start shopping! And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, "sick kids" may include hookers with a cold.
[Krusty chuckles]
[Homer is with Lenny and Carl at The Power Plant]
Hey, Homer. I'm your secret Santa. Merry Christmas, big guy.
[Lenny hands Homer a DVD player]
Oh, my god! A DVD player!
And the first season of Magnum P.I., with commentary by John Hillerman. Apparently, working in Hawaii was a pleasure.
Oh, Carl, you remembered I like TV.
[notices all the people have disappeared] Where the H.E.C.K. is everybody?
S15 E8Marge versus Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays
RRoofi
How's the crowd, Steve?
Awful fussy…
RRoofi
You're kidding me, did you make funny faces? (Steve nods) You did? Did you jiggle your keys?
I did it all, man!
(We cut to the concert)
AAnnouncer
And now, here's Roofi!
RRoofi
(Singng while babies continue crying) Sing the nonsense song with me, Yum, yum, wow, whoop dee wee! Flibberty flabberty, one, two three-! (Gets interrupted by a baby, who threw a bottle at him) Ow! Okay, who threw that? Who threw it? (Babies crying continues, as they riot the whole concert)
They destroyed my home, and the equity I built up there in.
Asked if he intends to take legal action the farmer replied "I ain't fungdified hi-de-hoo about no legrification, no ways." Then scratched his rear, hitched up his pants, and scratched his rear again.
My name is Marge Simpson, and I am a mother.
MCMeeting Crowd
BOO!
I'm also an American.
MCMeeting Crowd
YAY!
I bake apple pies.
MCMeeting Crowd
YAY!
And I like baseball.
MCMeeting Crowd
BOO!
I dream of an America with nudity and F-words on network TV. Where the whole world doesn't stop because a school bus did. Children are the future... today belongs to me!
MCMeeting Crowd
[with their fists raised] YAY!
You can’t change the rules in the middle of the game! We never would've had these kids if we thought we had to pay for them. Promises were made!
Hey, tough tortellini! I am a-sick and a-tired of printing a-children's menu! Let Mickey Meatball find his own way out of the maze! [spits] Apooey!
We're sick and tired of buying overpriced tickets for your lousy school plays!
Then how would we ever get to see Camelot?!
We'll merely watch the movie on tape!
Hmm..., is that better? Well, to me, Ralph Wiggum is Sir Lancelot.
[singing] If ever I would leave you, it wouldn't be in summer!
MCMeeting Crowd
BOOOOOOOOOO!
Ladies and Gentlemen! Let's kill every child... FRIENDLY THING IN TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!
MCMeeting Crowd
[As they were dismissed to take actions] YAY!
It's time to put away my childish things... [in a deep voice] ...and become a man!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.