The Simpsons · Season 15, Episode 5
“The Fat and the Furriest” · Season 15, Episode 5
In this episode: Homer Simpson (4), Bart Simpson (2), Lisa Simpson (2), Kent Brockman (1)
[Homer has been making something with the "Kitchen Carnival" overnight]
[to Lisa] I'm gonna pour caramel on my clothes, and then finally I can eat my shorts!
[They both yell in shock as they see Homer with a truly massive ball of caramel-covered cotton candy]
What is that?!
[proudly] This is 85 pounds of tooth-melting sugar! Dig in!
[Bart and Lisa immediately do so]
That's it, kids, suckle Daddy's sugar ball.
That hilarious footage was shot by local hunter, Grant Connor - not with a gun, but with a camera!
That's right, Kent. I often get guns and cameras confused. One time, tragically, at a wedding...
[After developing a fear of bears, Homer gets scared by a teddy bear and knocks down a bookshelf; the books fall all over him, and he looks through their front covers]
[scared] The Bear Went Over the Mountain?! The Berenstain Bears?! [relaxing] Oh, Goldilocks... [scared again] AND THE THREE BEARS!
[He flees into the kitchen, sliding across the table and finding himself faced with bear-themed groceries]
Oh god, they're in our food! Teddy Grahams! Gummy bears!
[He hallucinates Winnie-the-Pooh, Paddington Bear, Smokey Bear, the Chicago Bears and others marching towards him, to the tune of "The Teddy Bears' Picnic"]
Are you a Care Bear?
[wielding a crowbar] I'm an Intensive Care Bear.
Why does a bear need a crowbar?
[shrugs] Eh, I don't like to get my hands dirty.
Dad, you can't take revenge on an animal. That's the whole point of Moby-Dick.
Lisa, the point of Moby-Dick is be yourself!
You're sneaking off to fight that bear. I wanna go too!
No way. If something happens to me, you have to carry on the Simpson name.
Screw that! When I grow up, I'm legally changing my name to Joe Kickass!
That is so cool! Okay, you can come.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
