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37 SEASONS

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The Simpsons quotes

3,477 quotes · page 107 of 232

The Simpsons

All S1 S2 S3 S4 S5 S6 S7 S8 S9 S10 S11 S12 S13 S14 S15 S16 S17 S18 S19 S20 S21 S22 S23 S24 S25 S26 S27 S28 S29 S30 S31 S32 S33 S34 S35 S36 S37

S12Hungry, Hungry Homer

Well, Homer, your hunger strike lasted 12 amazing days.

Oh, me so hungy.

Of course you are, Hungry Hungry Homer. So why not break your fast with our brand new Isotope Dog Supreme?

[Smells the hot dog]. Oh, so hard to resist. Mesquite-grilled onions, jalapeño relish... Wait a minute, those are South Western ingredients! [The crowd gasps]. Mango-lime salsa? That's the kind of bold flavour they enjoy in... [Grabs the microphone]. Albuquerque!

[The crowd gasps even more.]

He's right.

Yeah, and the wrapper says Albuquerque Isotopes

Homer was right, they're planning to move the team!

[Everyone starts getting angry at Howard.]

Now, now, see here, people. Let's not be too hasty.

Tell the truth! Come on, everybody!

CCrowd

Tell the truth! Tell the truth!

Get him out of here!

[Duffman proceeds to get Homer out of the fields.]

Don't listen to him, Duffman. For once in your life, stand up for the little guy.

[Duffman repeatedly turns to Howard and Homer].

New feelings brewing in Duffman! What would Jesus do?

Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!

The truth never tasted so good!

[Everyone cheers].

Way to go, Slim!

AMAlbuquerque Mayor

See how much Dallas wants for the Cowboys..

AAssistant

That's a football team, sir.

AMAlbuquerque Mayor

They'll play what I tell them to play...for I am the mayor of Albuquerque!

S12Bye Bye Nerdie

I was wondering if you bullies would be interested in some bodyguard work?

Heh, that's funny. We were just talking about going into the protection business.

We're offering a lunch-and-recess package that's very affordable.

I had no idea you knew so much about bullying.

Oh, yeah, there's a lot of history there. Did you know it predates agriculture?

[Francine is going on a rampage beating up every scientist in sight]

FFrancine

SUCK FIST, DOCTOR DORK!

Groundskeeper Willie

Ach! It's a mighty puddle of puke!

I'm sorry.

Groundskeeper Willie

Aw, that's all right lad. It reminds me why I got into this business. [salutes him]

Principal Skinner

Lisa, this is outrageous! Explain yourself!

S12Simpson Safari

Olive oil? Asparagus? If your mother wasn't so fancy, we could just shop at the gas station like normal people.

BBBag Boy 1

[Homer keeps poking him with a baguette, trying to get him to go faster] Can you please-- Ow! Stop? Bag boys had feelings too, you know?

No, you don't.

'Sulfur jerky'? 'Cream of Toast'? Where do we get this crap?

Mostly they were from relatives who couldn't see very well.

Okay, here's the situation: We're hopelessly lost and about to die.

[a crocodile roars up from the river. The family screams]

Don't worry! Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a giant blender.

S12Trilogy of Error

Homer wants a brownie. I'm gonna get one.

No.

Coming in from the left.

Stop it. Homer.

Or is it the right? Look out for the reach-around! He shoots, he sc- [Marge accidentally cut his thumb off, he screams] My thumb! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

Sorry doesn't put thumbs on the hand, Marge!

[answering phone] 9-1-1. This'd better be good.

I just cut off my husband's thumb!

ATTEMPTED MURDER?! YOU'LL BURN FOR THIS! BURN IN JAIL!

It was an accident!

Yeah, yeah. Save it for "Dateline: Tuesday." Uh, what's your address so I can come arrest you?

Arrest me? Um, my address, it's um, 1-2-3... Fake Street.

[writing address down] 1-2-3 Fake Street. Okay see you soon!

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