Inflammable means flammable? What a country!
S12Trilogy of Error
[As Homer walks to Shelbyville]
[gets his severed thumb out of the pickle jar, groans] It's too late. [throws away Moe's jar of pickles] Well, old friend. We always knew this day would come. Say goodbye to your brother. [the robot explodes from distant] What the hell?! [Linguo's head lands near him; gasps and picks up Linguo] Linguo! Dead?!
LLinguo
Linguo...is...dead. [powers down]
[Homer closes Linguo's eyes]
Son of a diddly.
Mr. Teeny [last lines; subtitled, to audience]: This plot makes no sense. Tell the people.
S12I'm Goin' to Praiseland
May the Lord have mercy on your gas-sniffin' orphan-beatin' souls.
Christ be with you.
[while cleaning Ned's room to get rid of all the things that remind him of Maude]
Hey, don't throw that away. It's Rod's first tooth!
You're right. We could use this for witchcraft.
S12Children of a Lesser Clod
That's not my uncle Lou. And this man's not dead.
That's what I've been trying to tell you.
EEmployee
That's just gas escaping. [pushes Moleman back into the cabinet]
But you don't have to worry about the bill. We've never welshed on a- Look, a bear! Run!
[Homer gets up out of his wheelchair, but his leg snaps. He collapses and screams in pain. A bear suddenly appears and looks concerned for Homer's health]
[Flanders comes over to pick up Rod and Todd]
FFlanders
So, did you boys have a good time?
Yeah, Mr. Simpson was really funny.
He told us how the world keeps screwing him over.
APArnie Pie
[describing Homer's actions] He's jumping out of the car, Kent! He's trying to climb over the fence! Now he's realizing he's too fat. He's digging a hole like a dog. Now he's given up on that and he's running back and forth. He's climbing into a pipe and he seems to be stuck. His legs are dangling in a comical fashion. Oh, it's the saddest thing I've ever seen.
Arnie, Arnie, how are the children?
APArnie Pie
I can't see through metal, Kent!
[Lisa and Marge are watching Homer getting operated on]
So many times we've seen Dad go under the knife.
Marge [while holding a card]: One more, and I get a free hysterectomy.
Homer, I'm afraid you've torn out your anterior cruciate ligament.
Did you say an-terior?
Yes.
[Homer screams in pain]
You shouldn't have ordered all those hospital haircuts and porno films.
But Dr. Screwlittle sounded like a delightful romp.
[in a video of him chasing Bart down the street with a flail] I'll mace you good!
Bart (in the video): Aah!
Hey! That is completely taken out of context! (gets onstage): Why you little... [angrily strangles Bart]
S13Treehouse of Horror XII
DMDennis Miller Ultra-House Voice
Hey, cha-cha, I got more features than a NASA relief map of Turkmenistan.
Lisa (scared): Isn't that the voice that caused all these suicides?
Marge (happily): Murder-suicides!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.