“Hungry, Hungry Homer” · Season 12
In this episode: Homer Simpson (5), Howard K. Duff (4), Duffman (2), Bart Simpson (1), Marge Simpson (1), Moe Szyslak (1), Lenny Leonard (1), Sideshow Mel (1)
Say, before you leave, Homer, why don't you try our newest product? We've developed an additive that makes Duff beer super, super malty.
[Suspicious] Will this erase my memory?
No, of course not.
[Homer goes to drink, then is syringed by Duffman. He collapses]
[sipping the beer]. Man, this IS malty. But he'll never know!
[Duff and Duffman laugh maniacally]
[Homer's protest song]
Homer [weakly]: Dancing away my hunger pangs
Moving my feet so my stomach won't hurt
I'm kinda like Jesus
But not in the sacrilegious way
[Nighttime, day 9 of his hunger strike, an emaciated Homer sits in his chair and weakly waves his sign as the crowd cheers the game.]
Oh, I'm so hungry. Oh, why keep starving myself? No one cares!
[Homer spots a stray pretzel not too far from him. Desperately, he falls to his hands and knees and crawls toward the pretzel, only to stop when it gets stepped on by the foot of a ghostly figure.]
Who are you?
The spirit of César Chávez.
Why do you look like César Romero?
Because you don't know what César Chávez looks like.
Why are you here?
To tell you not to give up.
Oh, but I wanna!
[From the main office, Howard K. Duff and his assistants watch Homer talking to thin air.]
He's talking to himself, sir.
And his smell is distracting the center fielder.
Hmm, yeah, this is getting sad. Let's bring him in.
[The next morning, Homer is snoring when Duff's assistants unchain him and grab his arms]
Okay, skinny, on your feet.
Huh? What's happening? Did I crush your evil plan?
No, you're being replaced.
[The crowd boos as Homer is escorted away.]
And now, taking over for Hungry, Hungry Homer, let's welcome Paint-Drinking Pete!
[The eponymous Pete cheerfully walks onto the field and holds up a bucket of blue paint before downing it. As he falls to the ground, choking and spasming, the crowd cheers]
[The day after Homer has been moved to the stadium, a game is played while Homer runs from side to side, waving his sign 'Hungry For The Truth!'.]
Folks, it's time to meet a real super-fan: Hungry, Hungry Homer! He's on a hunger strike 'til the 'Topes win the pennant!
[The crowd cheers.]
What? No! That's not the reason! They're moving the team to Albuquerque!
That's right, folks, go, 'Topes!
[The crowd cheers again. Homer slumps into his chair.]
Oh, all this hunger for nothing!
Get your Duck!! Fresh, crispy Peking Duck!
Hey, duck man! Over here!
[Vendor throws Otto a duck]
[eating] Mmmm. [almost orgasmically] Mmmmmm!
[Homer suddenly picks up every sound the crowd makes while eating their snacks.]
Do they have to chew so loud?!
It's been a whole week. Why are you letting my husband die? What does that have to do with baseball?
Death is a natural part of baseball, ma'am.
Oh yeah, the main part.
Guys. Uh, we won't let anything happen to your husband, Mrs Simpson. He's in good hands.
[looking at Homer through a telescope] He's not moving!
[From Marge's POV, we see Homer lying on his back, eyes closed, mouth open. His white shirt is now stained greyed and frayed around the edges, and his pants are being held up by rope. Flies buzz around him.]
He's probably just resting after all the moving he did before you got here. [Aside] Turn on the sprinklers.
[The sprinklers turn on, causing Homer to moan weakly and roll over onto his front]
See? He's fine.
[Marge grumbles in frustration]
Well, Homer, your hunger strike lasted 12 amazing days.
Oh, me so hungy.
Of course you are, Hungry Hungry Homer. So why not break your fast with our brand new Isotope Dog Supreme?
[Smells the hot dog]. Oh, so hard to resist. Mesquite-grilled onions, jalapeño relish... Wait a minute, those are South Western ingredients! [The crowd gasps]. Mango-lime salsa? That's the kind of bold flavour they enjoy in... [Grabs the microphone]. Albuquerque!
[The crowd gasps even more.]
He's right.
Yeah, and the wrapper says Albuquerque Isotopes
Homer was right, they're planning to move the team!
[Everyone starts getting angry at Howard.]
Now, now, see here, people. Let's not be too hasty.
Tell the truth! Come on, everybody!
Tell the truth! Tell the truth!
Get him out of here!
[Duffman proceeds to get Homer out of the fields.]
Don't listen to him, Duffman. For once in your life, stand up for the little guy.
[Duffman repeatedly turns to Howard and Homer].
New feelings brewing in Duffman! What would Jesus do?
Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!
The truth never tasted so good!
[Everyone cheers].
Way to go, Slim!
See how much Dallas wants for the Cowboys..
That's a football team, sir.
They'll play what I tell them to play...for I am the mayor of Albuquerque!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
