LLenny
[Takes a drink while swimming at night] Mmmm. Alcohol and night swimming. It's a winning combination!
Lenny Leonard
The Simpsons · 3,477 quotes
In 60 of the 3,477 quotes from The Simpsons
Most scenes with: Homer Simpson (36), Carl Carlson (34), Moe Szyslak (15)
Lines by Lenny Leonard 4
LLenny
When a guy who loves America cries, it makes him super straight.
LLenny
Uh-oh. Doctor Hibbert keeps liking Bumblebee Man's posts. That's how it starts.
LLLenny Leonard
Once it became clear that human companionship was a non-starter, I adopted this handsome little mister, Devin.
Scenes with Lenny Leonard 56
So I say, forget you pal! Thanks for nothing! And I storm right out of there.
LLenny
Ah ha, that's telling him, Homer.
D'oh! Out of tartar sauce. They call this a portion? Hey, Lenny. Are you gonna use your sauce? Dry fish sticks! This sucks.
Quit complaining, chrome-dome.
D'oh! If I had hair, you wouldn't be calling me that!
LLenny
Hey, Simpson. I heard Mr. Burns crushed your boy.
If I wasn't so spineless, I'd march into Mr. Burns' office right now and...
Simpson!
Aah!
Mr. Burns wants you to march into his office right now!
Uh-oh.
[Lenny and Carl see Homer and Ned drive by, but Homer buries Ned's head out of view so they don't see him with Flanders]
Hi!
LLenny
Hey, look! Homer's got one of those robot cars!
[The car crashes off-screen due to Homer pushing Ned's head down]
One of those American robot cars.
SStonecutters
[singing] Who controls the British Crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
LLenny
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
MMartian
We do, we do
SStonecutters
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do, we do
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
SStonecutters
We do... we do!
Oh, I hope I haven't upset you... bongo-head!
[starts playing the bongos on Burns' head]
Oh, I should be resisting this, but I'm paralyzed with rage... and island rhythms.
[Homer drives through the plant and everyone cheers as Homer continues playing]
Yeah, way to play the boss's head like a bongo, Homer!
LLenny
He's getting a pretty good sound out of that guy.
"Explosion imminent". [scrolls back through text, sees gas wasn't vented] Oh, my God! The plant's going to explode!
[At the power plant, Carl and Lenny walk past the rumbling tank without a clue]
Hey, that thing's going caca-cuckoo.
LLenny
Who cares? It's Homer's problem.
[A sip is all that's needed to boost his batteries.]
We need some excitement around here!
Chinese checkers or domestic, sir?
No, no. Something fun. Something the men will enjoy... like a safety drill! But what kind? Meltdown alert? Mad dog drill? Blimp attack? Ah... I think a good old-fashioned fire drill today. [presses the "Fire Drill" button as the alarm goes off, most people just stare, intrigued]
All right, popcorn's ready! [takes the bag out of the microwave and pours kernels in a bowl]
Hey! That's the fire alarm!
We gotta get out of here!
[They run out of the cafeteria]
LLenny
Wait for me! [filling a cup at the cocoa machine] Come on, come on, come on!
[All around the plant, it's panic and havoc. One man grabs an extinguisher, and proceeds to hit anyone nearing him.]
MMan
Get out of my way!
[Homer storms into his sector and frantically tries to decide which framed picture on his panel he should rescue. Out of all the family photos, he chooses a black and white of himself dressed like a cowboy.]
MMan
Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire!
[Mr. Burns and Smithers stand outside the plant, waiting for Burns' victims to evacuate.]
Is it supposed to take this long? What's a good time for a mass evacuation of the entire plant?
Forty-five seconds!
And what's our time so far?
I don't know, sir. This stopwatch only goes up to fifteen minutes.
Damnation! What kind of slow coaches do I have working for me? Ah. Here comes one of our fellows now.
[Homer runs out the door and shuts the door and secures it with a bench, before he runs, panting, to his boss.]
I think I won, Mr. Burns.
Yes! [Hauntingly] You won, all right! You won more than you bargained for.
Woo-hoo!
[Mr. Burns scolds his employees (who finally made an escape, albeit messily) for showing a lack of teamwork. Lenny and Carl get into a fistfight, proving his point. The crowd cheers the fight, but Mr. Burns shows disappointment.]
What a disgraceful display! I've seen more orderly behavior in a Ritz Brothers film. You all need a serious lesson in teamwork.
Maybe he does, but I don't.
LLenny
Hey, you take that back!
No! You take that back!
Hit him, Carl! You too, Lenny! D'oh!
[An avalanche rumbles in the distance]
LLenny
... Hey, did you hear something?
No?
LLenny
Hm. Did I?
I don't know.
According to the map, the cabin should be right here.
LLenny
Hey, maybe there is no cabin. Maybe it's one of them metaphorical things.
Oh yeah, yeah... Like maybe the cabin is the place inside each of us, created by our goodwill and teamwork.
LLenny
[in a flash of insight] Ohhh! Nah, they said there would be sandwiches.
[talking about Homer] God, he eats like a pig!
LLenny
I dunno. Pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck.
[Homer walks onstage with his power plant model]
Look, everybody! Simpson's in a contest with children!
LLenny
Hey, shush!
You're making us miss the contest.
[Homer sets his model down. Mr. Burns looks at it]
Could you explain your model, young man?
What's to explain? He's an idiot!
LLenny
Pipe down!
Well, basically I just copied the plant we have now.
Hmm.
Then, I added some fins to lower wind resistance and this racing stripe here I feel is pretty sharp.
Agreed. First prize! [Mr. Burns gives Homer a ribbon and some cash]
WHAT?!
Way to go, Homer!
LLenny
You're number one, Homer!
But, but, t-t-this was a contest for children!
LLenny
Yeah, and Homer beat their brains out!
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